I am very saddened by the closed post I just read.
a poor girl was reaching out to a community of people that she felt she could relate to asking for help, and people just criticized her, causing her to leave the site.
i came to this website because i'm in an LDR, and i needed an outlet. my friends sometimes get tired of listening to me, or I can't even contribute to their conversations because its all about the boys they are seeing now. i do not plan on leaving this site, but i am very shocked by the response that was given to the girl.
she made a comment about being in an LDR living 45 minutes away from someone. what she really didn't clearly state was that in LA it could take up to twice as long. she also mentioned that her job is 45 minutes in the opposite direction from even her house. so now we're talking about almost 2+ hours in traffic out of the way to see her boyfriend. 2+ hours is a time distance. also, she mentioned that he doesn't have a vehicle as a lot of people in college sometimes don't. the 45 minute distance turns into a lot longer if you don't have a vehicle.
regardless of my feelings on her distance situation, she was asking for support in a relationship where she feels far away. she acknowledged that there are are many people on here that have it much worse off, but she wasn't asking to be reminded of that. she was asking for help. and most people on here just got on her about how she's not in an LDR, and how they have thousands of miles apart. Last time I checked, this wasn't a competition. this was a support system, an outlet, and a place to reach out.
that girl closed her thread and left the site. i tried to PM her, but its probably too late.
I am disappointed. That's all.
/end rant.
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And Iv been to LA, its a pain in the butt to get from place to place. I feel for this girl. Seriously. Pull your heads out from the darkness and stop being bullies. Oh you fell in love with someone in a different country. NO SIMPATHY that's your own fault. See how messed up that sounds?
IMHO this site gives out some excellent advice, I actually like the fact that people here don't just pander to the OP and tell them what they might want to hear. People here (on the whole) are honest, I know that if I wanted advice I would much rather people be honest with me than feed any delusions I had about the situation.
If I recall correctly that poster was upset about only seeing him on weekends which sucks but plenty of CD people that date deal with the same situation because of work and school. We are all entitled to our opinions on the matter too and if you post on a forum you should expect to hear any and all of them and not cry thread derailment and storm off. If you don't want to hear them, don't make a thread and open yourself up to it. I have made a few and did not always hear what I wanted but I have never left the forum. If you can't handle the heat, stay out of the kitchen.
LDR are just like cancer, they have tiers. Some of more tolerable than others and some people deal with the different tiers to a higher or lower tolerance than others. I don't have it the worst but I recognize those that do and I am sorry but I also recognize those the have it better. I would give my left arm for my SO to live in my country and that is no damn lie. Anytime I start to feel sorry for myself over it I remind myself of those that have it worse and pick my arse off the ground to fight another day.