So Angry and Heartbroken Right Now (Regarding College)

floridaellen started a blog post So Angry and Heartbroken Right Now (Regarding College)
April 9, 2012, 10:42 PM
So Angry and Heartbroken Right Now (Regarding College)

So my SO has a difficult family and financial situation. His parents are divorced and neither set provide for him. His mom actually used to take the father's child support money and spend it on herself (hair, makeup, nails, her horses, ect while her house was without heat and my parents had to buy my SO new clothes and shoes). Because of this, he got emancipated so his father didn't have to pay child support to his mother anymore. His mother also used to steal his money to pay for his brother's car accidents.

My SO took a gap year because he did not recieve enough financial aid to go to college prior to the emancipation. So this year he was all set to go to college: got into his top choice (the only one he applied to), filled out his FAFSA with his information only because he was emancipated, and recieved a very generous package.

Now it turns out that NJ does not recognize emancipated minors. The only way to be independent is to get married, have a child, or be in the military. No one knew this. We all thought that because he had the court order, it would be okay. Well it's not. So he'll have to put his parents' information on it, even though they won't be actually helping him with anything. So not only do we all feel stupid, my SO cannot go to his top choice in the fall.

He can probably go to community college but even that tuition is out of his reach. He'll have to take out more loans than he originally thought to go to a school he doesn't want to go to, to a program that isn't as good as the one he already got into.

We all feel stupid. Emancipation laws are just so confusing and I guess we got messed up. The lawyer had assured us that this would work. We are all heartbroken: his family, my family, me, and especially him.

I don't really know what I'm asking for here... I guess advice and encouragement :/ I wish I could give him the money but I can't afford to do that.

-- UPDATE --

My SO seemingly has agreed to attend the community college one county over from him. After getting his AAS degree, he will hopefully transfer to his top choice school again. He will still be considered a dependent student by then, unless he gets married or has a kid :P, but it's still a step in the right direction! He is still heartbroken and we are still trying to figure out the legal aspects but still :/
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14 comments
- #12
  
  floridaellen commented
  
  April 10, 2012, 06:22 PM
  
  Editing a comment
  
  Lucybelle - His parents are also divorced but the financial aid office is now saying he has to put his father too. We're very confused by this process. I know it will teach him a lot about saving money and such but it just sucks that he had the plan all figured out, including some loans but mostly paid for, and then it fell apart, you know? It is good to start at community college for some people, I agree, as long as the community college upholds the education standards of a 4 year institution, which unfortunately some do not.
  
  I could have gone to community college first but it actually would have been more expensive, which is weird!
- #13
  
  Moon commented
  
  April 10, 2012, 08:03 PM
  
  Editing a comment
  
  Awww....I'm sorry That's devastating news. Could he take another year or two, take a job, apartment and utility bills? It should then establish him as independent, I think (check that out though). Yeah, it'll put him behind a few years, but I'm not sure what else he can do, except take loans. It sucks now, but it could work out well in the long run. Wish I had a better idea for you, that's a tough situation sweetie.
- #14
  
  floridaellen commented
  
  April 10, 2012, 09:05 PM
  
  Editing a comment
  
  Moon - Unfortunately even if he does that, he will still be considered dependent. To be independent essentially you either have to be married, have a kid, in the military, or at least 24 years old. Which is totally stupid. I knew that was the law but I thought emancipation counted too. Turns out it doesn't :/ He's already taken a year off between high school and college because his mom screwed him over (filed her taxes incorrectly and refused to believe it so he didn't recieve any aid) so he doesn't want to do that :/ It really is a tough situation.
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So Angry and Heartbroken Right Now (Regarding College)