So as some of you may know, my SO lives in an apartment in NJ while I live in FL. The apartment is owned by my parents. They are renting it to him for a very reduced rate ($200 - it's normally $1200) but he is required to keep it nice and to watch my handicapped brother a certain amount of hours per week. He does not have a lease, just a verbal agreement.
A few weeks ago, my SO's brother "accidently" flooded the apartment and did not tell my SO until hours later. The water had by that time caused some damage to the floor/ceiling of the apartment downstairs, which is not currently occupied. My SO then had to try to clean it up. Now normally I believe my parents would have been fine with this - accidents happen. But it was the second time that it happened. My SO accidently flooded it the same way over the summer. So they were a little pissed off that it happened again and caused more damage. Everything seemed to have smoothed over though.
Today my dad went over to the apartment to turn on the heat. My SO knew my father was coming over. When my dad got to the apartment, it was a complete mess. Strike one. Then for some reason my dad went into the fridge, which may have been crossing the line but still happened. He found beer. My SO is 19. Strike two. Now my parents are really pissed. You may think "Oh beer - no big deal" and it probably actually isn't. But my parents are crazy against underage drinking. My mom even works at a rehab/counseling/prevention place. So if he had wanted some beer, he should have at least hid it. I know he wasn't expecting my father to open the fridge (and he probably shouldn't have) but still. If you're going to do something illegal, you should at least hide it!
I just wish my SO was more responsible. The apartment is not big. It does not take a long time to clean - I would know since I cleaned it all summer. I live in a much larger place now at school and keep it very clean. I wish he wouldn't have gotten caught with the beer - he could have hid it and then we wouldn't be in this situation. He's thinking about moving out but then he would have to move back in with his family (who steals his money and treats him like a child) and I don't want that.
I guess it's just weird for me. I have a severely handicapped brother. I was basically forced to grow up very early in order to help my parents care for him. I don't have any resentment for that, don't worry - I love my brother and I think having him as a brother has really helped me in life. But I guess I don't understand the lack of responsibility.
I hope this post doesn't make me seem like a complete biotch.
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floridaellen started a blog post I wish my SO was more responsible - or maybe I'm just too uptight.I wish my SO was more responsible - or maybe I'm just too uptight.
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On the side of the mess, who's house is spotless all the time? I know mine isn't! And as a home owner myself, I know that there are kinds of mess that can cause damage to the property and kinds that don't. Is he just a bit messy or is he being a dirty person? There's a difference between mess and dirt after all.
I think it's super nice of your parents not to expect him to pay for the water damage though, I'd be way pissed about that if I were them. I am wondering, if it's happened more than once, if it's something that needs to be better fixed/prevented? Is it just negligence on his/his brother's part, or is there something in the unit not functioning how it should?
I dunno
*Carrots*
Just to clarify, while my parents don't like finding out that he was drinking, they aren't doing anything about it. They didn't take anything. It would be the same as if they saw him out somewhere drinking or heard he was, regardless of whether it was in the apartment or not. Does that make sense? They just hate underage drinking in all shapes/forms.
I live in a house down here by myself and I'll be honest - my house is spotless all the time. I'm a major neatfreak. So I know I'm being too harsh since that's just my personality. It sounds like it was more dirty than cluttered/messy though.
We have a very small sink in the bathroom. The first time, my SO put a tshirt in the sink to soak and ran the water and forgot about it. It then overflowed and went out of our small bathroom into the carpeted hallway. We don't know how his brother did it - my SO just woke up and was like "WTF man?!" haha.
Thank you for talking some sense into me. My SO and I talked everything through again after the initial "me freaking out because my parents are mad and I'm stuck in the middle" and everything seems to be fine now!