I used to be addicted to online forums, basically. I use the term 'addicted' lightly, here, because I really only spent so much time on them because I hated where I was at the time. During that time I got together with a guy (baaad relationship) but through the same RP (role play) forum I met him on, I met a nice, chipper man who loved cute things and was extremely literate.
He and I RP'd back and forth along with a whole group of other people, we didn't talk outside the RP, though he was extremely kind. I found out his name was Alex, but I hadn't told him my name yet. Eventually, though, that RP died and I made a different one. I didn't think anything of inviting him to it, but he saw that I'd made it and asked me how it was going. I invited him in and he joined that one as well, giving it a much needed burst of energy. Around that time I had fairly severe insomnia and so did he. So, at 3 in the morning when no one was up, we'd start PMing each other and talking about our problems and what we were afraid of happening and what was happening that we didn't want. We got to be very good friends.
He broke up with his then fiancee (she was cheating on him regularly), and I broke up with my first boyfriend only to get into another relationship that was more unhealthy than the first. At that point Alex told me he was leaving Gaia (the RP site) because of his ex (she was still on there and trying to talk to him all the time) so we added each other on MSN messenger, so instead of talking to each other every once in a while we started talking every night.
My boyfriend at the time abandoned me and I fell into yet a third unhealthy relationship, all the while talking to Alex. my boyfriend was never there, he never talked to me, and I talked to Alex every night. We broached every subject imaginable in getting to know each other, then he started sort of flirting with me. I dismissed it as nothing, but he kept on and eventually I asked him if he liked me. His response was, "...I don't know... I'll tell you when I figure that out."
A few days later at the start of our conversation he said, "I have something to tell you..." He seemed really nervous, but I told him to go on anyway. Then, he said, "I think I love you." I was quiet for a moment, then explained to him that I didn't want anything between us because I was already dating someone and Alex lives in Canada and I live in Texas and it'd just never work out. He seemed fine with it and we went back to just being friends. At this point I had feelings for him, but I refused to acknowledge them. After all, I was in a relationship with someone else.
That someone else lied to me. Several times. About several things. I broke up with him. Alex was there to comfort me.
About two months later, I finally confessed to Alex my attraction to him. We had a big long talk about why it wouldn't work and agreed to simply stay a little more than friends (meaning we could cuddle and kiss if we wanted, but nothing more). Then we did a video call. We hadn't done one before together, and we started it at 11PM my time. ...It ended at 5AM. ^^; During the call we talked about almost everything all over again. ...And we decided we liked each other too much to just stay friends.
Throughout the summer of '09 we talked about our past relationships, tried to work through the trauma, etc, and in August he asked me to be his girlfriend. We tried to make meeting times, but I would have to go visit him as he wouldn't be able to come down here. I got my passport, but failed at staying with the job I had (DQ, not fun). I quit the job and we talked about all the stuff that we wanted to do but couldn't. We got discouraged, we had arguments, almost broke up, didn't break up, had conversations about how it would never work out so why was it working, etc. ^^;
In February of '10 I finally got another job and the prospect of me actually going up there to see him scared him enough that he said, "I want to be with you but let's not be official." That hurt, but I understood where he was coming from. So we became unofficial again and I saved up and got tickets to go see him.
On May 29th I flew up and saw him and this is the account of our first meeting as I posted on my blog here:
"We experienced some turbulence as we got over Edmonton because it was starting to snow ^^; the couple beside me was annoyed because they'd wanted it to be warmer, but I expressed my excitement anyway. However, the turbulence did not last long and the landing was fairly smooth. I gathered my things (I only brought two carry on bags) and exited the plane. As I made my way through the airport my heart was pounding and it really just felt like a dream. I called Alex to let him know I had arrived but the call quality was poor so he didn't understand what was said. It didn't matter, though, because we were about to see each other.
Every time I'd imagined meeting him I'd imagined a much bigger waiting area with bright lights and crowds of people because that's how I remember exits at airports being. However, when I walked out the insides of Edmonton International were earth tones and very warm. It felt automatic (and as if I just knew where he was) to turn my head to the left and see him sitting in the waiting area. It sent a jolt through me and I started shaking as I made my way toward him and he stood up, hands clasped in front of him, this tentative smile on his face.
I went in for a hug, as I couldn't really think from the excitement and nervousness and electricity (metaphoric) running through my being, but he'd gone in for a kiss. By the time I realized this his lips were on my cheek and I blushed brightly. We hugged for a moment, though, then pulled back and I almost couldn't look at him from embarrassment. ^^; But he seemed so happy and he led me over to the Tim Horton's (he knew I hadn't eaten in several hours) and ordered a maple donut and a peach drink for himself and I got a chicken wrap and a bottle of water. We sat down and he laughed as I pulled a tomato out of the wrap, asking me if I hated them. I told him I didn't but I wasn't sure about them. He grinned and offered me the rest of the Ice Cap he'd bought while waiting for me. It was strange, but at the same time made me smile so I drank the rest of it (there was barely any there) then ate the chicken wrap, offering some to him. He took a few bites as well and we just kind of talked, general conversation, joking around. He offered me some of his peach drink, telling me I would like it, so I took a sip and agreed it was quite good.
Once I'd finished my food we threw away the containers and headed for the doors. I had to wear my jacket because I was getting a little chilly (it was freezing, literally, outside) and he wanted to wait outside for the shuttle to come and pick us up to take us back to the hotel. So we went outside and were standing there, asked a few shuttles but they weren't ours, and then he noticed I was shivering. He grinned and asked if I was cold, I told him I was and scooted closer, he suggested we go back inside, so I readily agreed and we went back inside to stand in front of this wall of windows to look for our shuttle.
For a while neither of us said anything, we just stood close to each other and looked out the window. Well, I was giving him many side glances and he was doing the same to me. I looked down, deciding I was too embarrassed to continue and suddenly I felt his arms sliding around my waist. Heat rose in my cheeks as he pulled my body back against his, kissed the top of my head, then whispered, "Mine," in my ear. For a moment I was frozen and didn't know what to do, then I turned around to look at him and he smiled and let go, sighting our shuttle. He led me to it and we got inside, telling the driver which hotel we needed to go to.
In the shuttle we sat on the same bench and somewhat close to each other. He ran a finger along the top of my hand and I turned my hand upside down so that we could interlock fingers. In a matter of maybe 5 minutes we were at the hotel, though, and we got out, went to our room, and set my bags down. I unzipped my jacket and commented on the fact that he left the TV on. He laughed and asked if I had a problem with that, to which I replied I didn't. I just thought it was funny. As I took off my jacket I apologized for missing his earlier kiss and he smirked and approached me.
"Well, we could always make up for it now," he said. I told him I'd like to try and he wound his arms around my waist, pulling my hips to his. He told me to close my eyes, which I did, and our lips found each other. I pulled back first, as I wasn't sure what to expect. When I opened my eyes he was smiling at me and he said, "Mmm, I think we need more practice." So we kissed again, this time longer. We broke the kiss and we were both breathless.
This led to things I can't post here, but suffice it to say we almost became intimate, but I got scared so we backed out.
After that we just cuddled in bed and whispered to each other, sometimes kissing, sometimes not. All of those feelings and hormones eventually made me nauseous, though, and he helped me to the bathroom where I lay on the ground and he lay beside me and we talked and he stayed with me until I got over it and then he helped me up and we got back into bed and cuddled until we fell asleep ^^"
In the next post I'll give the rest. ^^
He and I RP'd back and forth along with a whole group of other people, we didn't talk outside the RP, though he was extremely kind. I found out his name was Alex, but I hadn't told him my name yet. Eventually, though, that RP died and I made a different one. I didn't think anything of inviting him to it, but he saw that I'd made it and asked me how it was going. I invited him in and he joined that one as well, giving it a much needed burst of energy. Around that time I had fairly severe insomnia and so did he. So, at 3 in the morning when no one was up, we'd start PMing each other and talking about our problems and what we were afraid of happening and what was happening that we didn't want. We got to be very good friends.
He broke up with his then fiancee (she was cheating on him regularly), and I broke up with my first boyfriend only to get into another relationship that was more unhealthy than the first. At that point Alex told me he was leaving Gaia (the RP site) because of his ex (she was still on there and trying to talk to him all the time) so we added each other on MSN messenger, so instead of talking to each other every once in a while we started talking every night.
My boyfriend at the time abandoned me and I fell into yet a third unhealthy relationship, all the while talking to Alex. my boyfriend was never there, he never talked to me, and I talked to Alex every night. We broached every subject imaginable in getting to know each other, then he started sort of flirting with me. I dismissed it as nothing, but he kept on and eventually I asked him if he liked me. His response was, "...I don't know... I'll tell you when I figure that out."
A few days later at the start of our conversation he said, "I have something to tell you..." He seemed really nervous, but I told him to go on anyway. Then, he said, "I think I love you." I was quiet for a moment, then explained to him that I didn't want anything between us because I was already dating someone and Alex lives in Canada and I live in Texas and it'd just never work out. He seemed fine with it and we went back to just being friends. At this point I had feelings for him, but I refused to acknowledge them. After all, I was in a relationship with someone else.
That someone else lied to me. Several times. About several things. I broke up with him. Alex was there to comfort me.
About two months later, I finally confessed to Alex my attraction to him. We had a big long talk about why it wouldn't work and agreed to simply stay a little more than friends (meaning we could cuddle and kiss if we wanted, but nothing more). Then we did a video call. We hadn't done one before together, and we started it at 11PM my time. ...It ended at 5AM. ^^; During the call we talked about almost everything all over again. ...And we decided we liked each other too much to just stay friends.
Throughout the summer of '09 we talked about our past relationships, tried to work through the trauma, etc, and in August he asked me to be his girlfriend. We tried to make meeting times, but I would have to go visit him as he wouldn't be able to come down here. I got my passport, but failed at staying with the job I had (DQ, not fun). I quit the job and we talked about all the stuff that we wanted to do but couldn't. We got discouraged, we had arguments, almost broke up, didn't break up, had conversations about how it would never work out so why was it working, etc. ^^;
In February of '10 I finally got another job and the prospect of me actually going up there to see him scared him enough that he said, "I want to be with you but let's not be official." That hurt, but I understood where he was coming from. So we became unofficial again and I saved up and got tickets to go see him.
On May 29th I flew up and saw him and this is the account of our first meeting as I posted on my blog here:
"We experienced some turbulence as we got over Edmonton because it was starting to snow ^^; the couple beside me was annoyed because they'd wanted it to be warmer, but I expressed my excitement anyway. However, the turbulence did not last long and the landing was fairly smooth. I gathered my things (I only brought two carry on bags) and exited the plane. As I made my way through the airport my heart was pounding and it really just felt like a dream. I called Alex to let him know I had arrived but the call quality was poor so he didn't understand what was said. It didn't matter, though, because we were about to see each other.
Every time I'd imagined meeting him I'd imagined a much bigger waiting area with bright lights and crowds of people because that's how I remember exits at airports being. However, when I walked out the insides of Edmonton International were earth tones and very warm. It felt automatic (and as if I just knew where he was) to turn my head to the left and see him sitting in the waiting area. It sent a jolt through me and I started shaking as I made my way toward him and he stood up, hands clasped in front of him, this tentative smile on his face.
I went in for a hug, as I couldn't really think from the excitement and nervousness and electricity (metaphoric) running through my being, but he'd gone in for a kiss. By the time I realized this his lips were on my cheek and I blushed brightly. We hugged for a moment, though, then pulled back and I almost couldn't look at him from embarrassment. ^^; But he seemed so happy and he led me over to the Tim Horton's (he knew I hadn't eaten in several hours) and ordered a maple donut and a peach drink for himself and I got a chicken wrap and a bottle of water. We sat down and he laughed as I pulled a tomato out of the wrap, asking me if I hated them. I told him I didn't but I wasn't sure about them. He grinned and offered me the rest of the Ice Cap he'd bought while waiting for me. It was strange, but at the same time made me smile so I drank the rest of it (there was barely any there) then ate the chicken wrap, offering some to him. He took a few bites as well and we just kind of talked, general conversation, joking around. He offered me some of his peach drink, telling me I would like it, so I took a sip and agreed it was quite good.
Once I'd finished my food we threw away the containers and headed for the doors. I had to wear my jacket because I was getting a little chilly (it was freezing, literally, outside) and he wanted to wait outside for the shuttle to come and pick us up to take us back to the hotel. So we went outside and were standing there, asked a few shuttles but they weren't ours, and then he noticed I was shivering. He grinned and asked if I was cold, I told him I was and scooted closer, he suggested we go back inside, so I readily agreed and we went back inside to stand in front of this wall of windows to look for our shuttle.
For a while neither of us said anything, we just stood close to each other and looked out the window. Well, I was giving him many side glances and he was doing the same to me. I looked down, deciding I was too embarrassed to continue and suddenly I felt his arms sliding around my waist. Heat rose in my cheeks as he pulled my body back against his, kissed the top of my head, then whispered, "Mine," in my ear. For a moment I was frozen and didn't know what to do, then I turned around to look at him and he smiled and let go, sighting our shuttle. He led me to it and we got inside, telling the driver which hotel we needed to go to.
In the shuttle we sat on the same bench and somewhat close to each other. He ran a finger along the top of my hand and I turned my hand upside down so that we could interlock fingers. In a matter of maybe 5 minutes we were at the hotel, though, and we got out, went to our room, and set my bags down. I unzipped my jacket and commented on the fact that he left the TV on. He laughed and asked if I had a problem with that, to which I replied I didn't. I just thought it was funny. As I took off my jacket I apologized for missing his earlier kiss and he smirked and approached me.
"Well, we could always make up for it now," he said. I told him I'd like to try and he wound his arms around my waist, pulling my hips to his. He told me to close my eyes, which I did, and our lips found each other. I pulled back first, as I wasn't sure what to expect. When I opened my eyes he was smiling at me and he said, "Mmm, I think we need more practice." So we kissed again, this time longer. We broke the kiss and we were both breathless.
This led to things I can't post here, but suffice it to say we almost became intimate, but I got scared so we backed out.
After that we just cuddled in bed and whispered to each other, sometimes kissing, sometimes not. All of those feelings and hormones eventually made me nauseous, though, and he helped me to the bathroom where I lay on the ground and he lay beside me and we talked and he stayed with me until I got over it and then he helped me up and we got back into bed and cuddled until we fell asleep ^^"
In the next post I'll give the rest. ^^
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