I just want to share & know what you think about my LDR, I know mine is really weird.
I'm new to both - long distance relationship AND May-December relationship as well. I'm 39 years old, never married, no kids and he is 20, and studying in college. I'm in Asia and he's in the US. We're both Asians in ethnicity.
My story started in 2009. I love dancing and I joined an online community on dancing. I met a great group and we became like a family. I never told anyone my age - not that anyone asked. Soon we all gave our facebook accounts and skype accounts and started becoming real friends. No one asked how old I was because they all think I was 24. I'm not kidding and I'm not trying to be conceited too but even "he" thought I was 20. So in January 2011, he started messaging me privately and vice versa. I notice that it was fun talking to him about dance and life and college. He knows I'm working already so he assumed I was around 24. The problem started when it got to more than being friends. We both got attracted to each other and soon, he started saying he likes me then I said I like him since I thought "liking" someone doesn't mean I'm in love or something. But in a month's time, he seemed to be getting closer to me - we talk on skype everyday. Then one day he said that he loves me.
I was shocked. I said to myself "nooooo, this is wrong," all my previous boyfriends are 2 years older than I am. I have never been in a May-December relationship before, let alone a long distance relationship! So I told him, "wait, before this blows up completely out of proportion, do you know how old I am?" and he answered "the same age as me?" and so I told him my real age and explained that we can only like each other and not anything more than that. But it turned out he wasn't buying that. He still wanted me.
I don't know what came over me but I love him too so we started our LDR last March.
It's been 8 amazing months. We vid-chat on skype as much as we could, yahoo, gmail and text (yes, international text).
Being in a conservative country, these kinds of relationships are both taboo. But my friends know and when I told them, I thought they would scold me and tell me to break up with him but they didn't. I was so surprised that they cheered me on and were happy for me to find him. We kept this relationship a secret from our families for now, because his parents are so conservative. Although mine aren't as strict as his, I just thought I wouldn't tell them yet until we can finally be together (that is after he finishes college). He has expressed marriage and a son to me but I'm scared I don't want to talk about that yet. I've never had a man like him before, my past boyfriends are either full of himself or career-oriented to the point they don't think about me. We still let each other do our stuff but we always have a transparency to tell each other our activities and what's going on with our lives. It was so hard at first - the insecurities of other younger girls and being far always get me but he always bring me back with his assurance. He's always honest and he has a good character. The distance sometimes kills me but because I love him, it makes me want to hold on and wait. I know I don't have that much time, being older than he is but he doesn't care about that - he said he just wants us to be together after he graduates. I also want him to finish college, I don't want to ruin his future by not graduating from it. He has to have a life, like I had it - I finished college and have a MA. I don't want him to live less just because I had no time and he understood that.
Long distance relationships are hard but I think they only fail if he isn't the right one - actually like ALL relationships, the right "one" is the right one.
(btw, he's coming to visit in a few months and I didn't want to get a US visa until I know for sure that he's serious. Now we're about to meet, I'm seriously considering to get a visa soon so I can return the favor and visit him)
I'm new to both - long distance relationship AND May-December relationship as well. I'm 39 years old, never married, no kids and he is 20, and studying in college. I'm in Asia and he's in the US. We're both Asians in ethnicity.
My story started in 2009. I love dancing and I joined an online community on dancing. I met a great group and we became like a family. I never told anyone my age - not that anyone asked. Soon we all gave our facebook accounts and skype accounts and started becoming real friends. No one asked how old I was because they all think I was 24. I'm not kidding and I'm not trying to be conceited too but even "he" thought I was 20. So in January 2011, he started messaging me privately and vice versa. I notice that it was fun talking to him about dance and life and college. He knows I'm working already so he assumed I was around 24. The problem started when it got to more than being friends. We both got attracted to each other and soon, he started saying he likes me then I said I like him since I thought "liking" someone doesn't mean I'm in love or something. But in a month's time, he seemed to be getting closer to me - we talk on skype everyday. Then one day he said that he loves me.
I was shocked. I said to myself "nooooo, this is wrong," all my previous boyfriends are 2 years older than I am. I have never been in a May-December relationship before, let alone a long distance relationship! So I told him, "wait, before this blows up completely out of proportion, do you know how old I am?" and he answered "the same age as me?" and so I told him my real age and explained that we can only like each other and not anything more than that. But it turned out he wasn't buying that. He still wanted me.
I don't know what came over me but I love him too so we started our LDR last March.
It's been 8 amazing months. We vid-chat on skype as much as we could, yahoo, gmail and text (yes, international text).
Being in a conservative country, these kinds of relationships are both taboo. But my friends know and when I told them, I thought they would scold me and tell me to break up with him but they didn't. I was so surprised that they cheered me on and were happy for me to find him. We kept this relationship a secret from our families for now, because his parents are so conservative. Although mine aren't as strict as his, I just thought I wouldn't tell them yet until we can finally be together (that is after he finishes college). He has expressed marriage and a son to me but I'm scared I don't want to talk about that yet. I've never had a man like him before, my past boyfriends are either full of himself or career-oriented to the point they don't think about me. We still let each other do our stuff but we always have a transparency to tell each other our activities and what's going on with our lives. It was so hard at first - the insecurities of other younger girls and being far always get me but he always bring me back with his assurance. He's always honest and he has a good character. The distance sometimes kills me but because I love him, it makes me want to hold on and wait. I know I don't have that much time, being older than he is but he doesn't care about that - he said he just wants us to be together after he graduates. I also want him to finish college, I don't want to ruin his future by not graduating from it. He has to have a life, like I had it - I finished college and have a MA. I don't want him to live less just because I had no time and he understood that.
Long distance relationships are hard but I think they only fail if he isn't the right one - actually like ALL relationships, the right "one" is the right one.
(btw, he's coming to visit in a few months and I didn't want to get a US visa until I know for sure that he's serious. Now we're about to meet, I'm seriously considering to get a visa soon so I can return the favor and visit him)
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