Don't know what to do! Please help!

[enemey96]

So I really don't know what to do! (Or where to start with explaining what I need help with!)

My SO and I have been talking a lot in the past 2 weeks about closing the distance. The only way that we can actually close the distance is if I move back to England, which I have no problem with whatsoever, but it's going to cause a huge problem with my family. The earliest time that I can move home will be this summer, just before my 16th birthday (yeah, that's mostly what my mum has a problem with). It will have to be then if I want to move back any time during the next 3 years because in August, if I stay here, I'll be starting college and in Sweden you go to college for 3 years, and it will be almost impossible to move during college because the colleges here and in England are really different. And I honestly don't think that I'm going to be able to go through 3 more years of a LDR. (I've only be in one for 7 months and it's already killing me!)

There would be no problem with moving back if it wasn't for my mum. She's refusing to let me live on my own at 16 - which I agree with her on because I don't really like the idea that in 6 months I'd be living all on my own having to sort out absolutely everything by myself! She's also said that she won't let my dad (who lives in England) get custody over me because in her opinion it's the worst decision that I've ever made in my life and it will ruin my life. My dad has absolutely no problem with me living with him for 2 years while I'm at college in England and neither does his wife (my stepmum). The only thing, if I did go and live with my dad, would be that I wouldn't be closing the distance as such because I still wouldn't be living in the same town as my SO, I'd be living about 90 miles away. But 90 miles is way closer than 1000 miles! And at least it would be the same country. Also, I think it would change mine and my SO's relationship quite a bit because I would get to see him more than 6 times per year, I think, and I wouldn't get to spend so much time with him at a time (if that makes sense :S) Like now I see him once every two months-ish, and so far we've seen each other for a week at a time and at Easter it will hopefully be 2 weeks, but I think that if I did move back and live with my dad then I would probably see him like twice a month and then it would be just for the weekend and possibly when I have half terms then I would get to stay with him for the week or we would get to go away for the week. But it would change our relationship a whole lot. And I wouldn't see my sisters so often because they will be staying here, in Sweden, with my mum & stepdad.

Now to start with the questions!
- If you were in my situation what would you do?
- Is it better to be closer to my SO and see him more often but for not as long, or further away and see him less often but for longer time?
- Do I have any say in which parent has custody over me?
- Can my mum stop me from moving in with my Dad when I'm 16?

Just for the record, my SO isn't the only reason for me wanting to move back to England, it's also because I want to study in English again, and I miss my family so much and because I do really miss England (strangely!)

Thank you in advance!

[digitalfever]

I think that if you see this as a better opportunity for yourself not just to be closer to your SO then you should seriously consider it and try to make steps towards making it happen. I think that the move seems to be less “worth it” because you won’t be close enough to actually be CD and integrate each other into your everyday lives. It breeds the opportunity to feel lonely when you’re in the same country.

[floridaellen]

- If you were in my situation what would you do?
I completely understand how you want to close the distance as soon as possible. But is the family turmoil worth it? You would still be 90 miles apart.
- Is it better to be closer to my SO and see him more often but for not as long, or further away and see him less often but for longer time?
Both have their issues and I think it's more of a personal decision than anything else.
- Do I have any say in which parent has custody over me?
In the US, I believe you have some say but not much. I know my SO had no say over which parent had custody of him but that was because his father was abusive :/
- Can my mum stop me from moving in with my Dad when I'm 16?
Legally, I'm not sure. But is it worth the family stress?

Just some points to think about - no real answers. I completely understand wanting to move closer though!