No work and depending on SO

I guess my question is pretty clear, eh?

I will kind of go there, live in with him, with no job and almost no knowledge of his native language. This is a problem,a bit. I mean, I already started to study by myself, not enough obviously, he decided to put me into a course so I can study for 2 3 months ( I catch on foreign languages very fast). What is distracting me most is the fact that I have no savings, given the fact I just finished college, if I had time for work during it was to cover my own expenses at home ( phone bills, internet bills, going outs ). My parents were obviously supporting me, and still (not liking it but I have no choice right now, need to focus on exams :/ )

So without savings, with maybe a little help again from parents ( if I even can accept it because I feel like it's already too much for them) , with no job and ......... my SO supporting me. I spoke with him about this issue that I am very worried how this will work, not to say I feel so uncomfortable. Do I have an option? How do I manage this? How do I cope with the feeling on dependency? Because frankly, I would love to have my own money and never have to ask HIM ..... or even my parents.

So little time left and I feel more and more and more pressure and even more questions popping in my mind. I am so nervous .... :S

[snow_girl]

I've always been independent paying my own way and not relying on my parents to help me out. I worked as much as I could before I came to live with my SO but it has been 10 months and I've only just found a job. I had a bit of savings where I'd offer to pay for groceries but not enough to pay rent and utilities. It makes me feel awful that I have to rely on him to support me. I picked up some babysitting and when I got some money I'd try to give him some but he'd always refuse it telling me to hold on to it and use it when we go out. Now that I am working I am going to make sure I can contribute a little more even if it isn't as much as I'd like.

Maybe you can look around and find some babysitting? It doesn't really require that much language kids are creative and can usually find a way to tell you something, plus with the classes it shouldn't be too hard. At least that way you'll be making a little money to at least pay for your own things on days out without asking him for money.

He will be happy to have you there, the little extra he might be paying will be worth it to him.

[lucybelle]

My SO moved to me first on a tourist visa so he was unable to work. I paid all the bills and we split food and gas. Then I moved down to him without a job, and he paid all the bills while we split food and gas. The thing is- whether you're there or not, he's going to be paying rent, bills, food, gas, etc. With you there, it will really only up the bills a little bit. I'd say maybe an extra $100-$200 a month (depending on living expenses), which isn't that much.

I think if you plan on staying with your SO for a while the first thing you need to do is get into a language class. Learn the language. Without that you'll never find a job. While home, help around the house. And save up as much money as possible before you move.

[Ivy]

I don't have saving because last job I had I finished in January, was a really good one, very underpaid for what I was doing ( I was a secretary at a national museum) and still, I had to quit for a few reasons starting with the fact it was on the way of the studies, which are like the most important thing right now, because I need to finish it first in order to move. So I made decision, my SO approved that, my parents were ok with me quitting in a name of a good cause and basically all the money I was having every month ( which were not much as I said, underpaid job!) I was using on my personal bills and expenses . So not much was left and it was long gone, so I can buy plane tickets.

First thing I will do is start a course, yes. This will happen right when I finish State exams and move there for good in end of October.

I spoke with him about the uncomfy feeling I have about the though of HIM paying for me and stuff - I am not really ok with this. But he kind of just shut me with the arguments that all I need to do first is 1- learn language , 2 - after I finish it trying find a job of any kind and then I have plans of doing my Masters there. So I have quite a few plans, but I just don't know how to get over this feeling of him paying. I will of course limit myself as much as I can - no shopping for cute things no nothing. But I guess for a push my parents won't really leave me with exactly nothing. I hope so....

If only I had a few millions ......