Going to College

[efish1042]

So... I'm so ready for college. I've been ready to get out of high school since before I got there. I'm very excited to finally be in the summer before my freshman year of college.
On top of that, I am also CLOSING THE DISTANCE WITH MY SO! YAY!
However, now that it's actually happening and I need to start getting my things organized to move... I'm a little nervous. Nervous to go to a new, foreign place and start basically all over on my own and also nervous to close the distance.
I'm pretty OCD, so even though I have over 2 months until I move, I'm already mentally planning out what to take and leave and so on, working out how often I will be able to see my SO in a week (wonderful to know I can see him anytime I like!), things like that.

I'm nervous about the move (should I bring school supplies or buy them there, what clothes, books, etc), money (will my parents give me an allowance or..), the transition (impressing teachers and admin, meeting people, making friends... making a fool of myself), and my relationship (will things change for us? will we not value our time or each other as much? his roommates, his family, my family, holidays...). I'm just really anal and I like to have at least a vague plan of everything before I jump into something and this isn't something that you can plan for everything with and it makes me anxious.

So... I guess I'm wondering if anyone has any advice for me? I know I'm probably just letting my anxiety run me over, but... it's a big change, you know?

[katylynnlee]

I'm pretty much in the same boat. I'll be moving at the end of July to Ontario and I have no idea how to go about it all. So, I'd love to mooch off this thread and get some advice too. I want to bring everything, but I know that's not a very good idea when you first move.

[Cookienessness]

I'm in the same boat too. My boyfriend and I have talked about it a lot (when he came home for the summer, we closed the distance). We are preparing for this transition by discussing our expectations, like what we did before we started our LDR. For example, we both expect to be really busy with schoolwork. I told him I'm aware that he's going to need to work with the people who are in his classes, that he's going to want to hang out with only his friends sometimes, that our schedules will be different and we might not always get to go to meal hall together, that we won't do a lot of PDA, just stuff like that. I also made a list of things I need to remind myself; like I need to be aware that most of his friends from school are girls, and they're *just* friends. So I would just talk about what you want, and what you don't want, and go from there. Do regular checkups on how you're doing throughout the school year to make sure you're staying on track - that way you can get rid of any problems before they become chaotic.

[rixue]

Oh the move will be fun! You can buy some supplies at home and wait till you get to your college to buy books. I suggest buying any supplies besides books from home (or atleast Walmart or something) I have found school bookstores to be really overpriced. You can also order your books online which is sometimes cheaper than the bookstore...there is Amazon and Chegg for that.

One thing you have to remember when you get to college is that most incoming freshmen are going to be nervous too! If you are living the the dorms there should be activities going on on your floor to help everyone get acquainted. During the first week there are usually fun activities going on all throughout campus, and clubs will be out looking for members. Clubs are greats ways to make new friends! And do not worry about making a fool out of yourself; we all make fools out of ourselves sometimes. You have to learn to laugh at yourself if it happens and do not fret over it!

The best advice I can give you class wise is get help asap! Once you get behind in class it starts to snowball and can happen fast. Most colleges have tutors or go to your professor's office hours and get help. Study groups are also great (I am not a fan of them but I know a lot of people who benefit from them). Sometimes explaining a concept to others helps you learn the material as well, plus a good way to make friends!

As far as your relationship will change I cannot really say. You will be able to spend time CD now But you have also remember that you are going to college now which should come first. You will both be taking classes and homework/studying will take up a chunk of your time. You can do homework together and help each other study (just try not to get distracted)! As for dealing with friends/roommates/family you will both have to learn how to balance those. On holiday you could go back to your family or maybe go back with him (or vice versa).

This is all the advice I can think of from the top of my head might update later... Anyways, enjoy the experience of college and being CD with your SO! If you (or anyone else reading) has any more questions about college and what not just feel free to PM me!

[Yaaamiii]

Rixue gave some really good advice. Aside from that, this is what I have to say...
Ok, this may or may not be really long. Here goes :P

First off, buy your books USED!!! Or RENT your textbooks. It can save you HUNDREDS (yes, HUNDREDS) of dollars. TRUST ME when I say that you do not need a new copy of a textbook you will only use for 3-4 months. If its a book for your major, you may or may not want to keep it, depending on how useful the textbook was. Also, the great thing about used textbooks is that most of them come highlighted, so you can see what others have highlighted already (great for studying!). Go onto a website like dealoz.com and type in the ISBN number and they can show you the cheapest books online. Or you can go on half.com. Both are great websites to use to get your books. If your school's bookstore is anything like every other college bookstore, their textbooks (used as well) will be overpriced!! WAY overpriced. Get your books online. The bookstore sells textbooks at a very high price, used or not (though used is obviously cheaper, but not usually by much).

It's kind of a long story, but my sophomore year of college, my SO and I also closed the distance, at least for that year we did (again, long story). And it was SOOO scary for me too! I had lived at home my whole life, and going to a new place away from my comfort zone was really scary. But I made friends, I joined clubs, and I loved being away from home. It's a great experience to have.

Honestly, buying supplies there or at home really depends on how you're getting to college. Are your parents driving you there and dropping you off? Unfortunately, my mom couldn't drop me off, so my SO and I took a greyhound bus to college. Yeah it was tough not having my mom there for support, but I made it through. You can get school supplies when you arrive at school though, honestly. No need to buy them at home (as long as you're referring to paper and binders and stuff). Your financial situation will be something you and your parents have to talk about. Most of my friends get an allowance from their parents. I'm not as lucky but I've managed. Make sure to always budget your money!!! Trust me, that new found freedom...it all seems so tempting to just go spending it all the time on anything, but be wise and budget! You won't regret it later.

Make sure to join clubs that you are interested in, not just your SO. Keep your individuality. There's no way of knowing how or if your relationship will change once you become CD, I think only time will tell, but try not to stress yourself out about it now. Either way if it changes for the better, you two only grow from it. If it changes for the worse, it was a growing experience for you. As we say in Spanish, que sera, sera. What will be, will be.

Classes. Get a tutor. Get help. Ask your professor. Ask your classmates. Askaskask! rixue was right, if you don't understand something, the rest will be downhill. Especially if you take those two part classes, like general chemistry 1 in the fall and general chemistry 2 in the spring. Make sure you get help if you don't understand. Know your professors office hours. DON'T lose your class syllabus! LOL XD That is the worst. Most professors stick to that thing like glue! It will give you an outline of when your tests and papers are due. A lot of college classes only have a few tests. Some will only have a midterm and a final. Some will only have a final. Depends on your professor.

I'm not exactly sure what you meant by his roommates, his family, etc. Are you wondering if things will be awkward?

My best advice for you is this: Take care of yourself. Do not lose yourself, hold on to your individuality, do not try to conform just because everyone else is doing it. College is a time for growing and changes, that's just the way it is. And that's okay. Take a deep breath. Everything will work out. College is not as nerve-racking as it seems. This is a really exciting time for you, and you only get one chance, so make it count. Stay safe and best of luck .