STRANGE FEELING after closing the distance, and coming back to my country

[Kiara]

Since last February (thus 5 months ago) I've been living in Germany with my SO. I found a part-time job in my area of studies (marketing), I signed up for an intensive German class (4h per day), and I also found the time to go to a belly dance class once per week. Everythign went smooth and I did not experience the classical cultural shock, or at least, not yet.
Now it's summer, I'm on holiday and both my job and the German class will start in September. So I decided to fly back to my home country, Italy, to see my family and enjoy the sunny weather 9we live close to the beach).

The STRANGE FEELING that I have is that now I'm in my home country, but I feel like if I was here as a tourist.
My SO is coming here at the beginning of August, and I'm counting the days and looking forward to being with him again!
After having closed the distance, now being apart, again, is strange.
I don't know if I'm able to explain my feelings, and I'd like to know if this has happened to other people too.

Basically before, being LDR, being apart was the routine, and being togetehr was the special, short term, full of strong emotions, holiday.
Now that we are CDR it's vice versa. I feel that my routine is living with my SO, and being in my parents house sounds strange. I feel like this is not my place, and I'm wondering how I will feel in August when my SO will be here too. Maybe for him it will be like last year, when he visited me. I wouldn't like to feel that we are out of place: it's still my home country!
If you have ever experienced something like this, please share it with me and tell me if it's normal feeling like this after closing the distance!

[Rach321]

Completely normal- both from my experience as a now-CD couple and my own career expertise (I'm a teacher and researcher at a university). It takes a bit to feel like the new place is your home, but eventually it does. And, at least in my eyes, a person (such as your bf) can feel like home. So it's normal to feel a bit "homesick" when you leave that place you feel is home.

Also, I study cultural adaptation, and there is a term called "reverse culture shock." Where, basically, you have lived in another culture/place long enough to adjust to it and you return back to your original culture and experience what we call culture shock in your own culture. It's because you've changed, in a way, through your adaptation to the new place. And you're probably noticing it more coming back to Italy because you didn't expect to feel this way. When you moved to Germany, you probably expected to have some culture shock, so you did things to minimize it. But coming home, it's unexpected. This is the experience of many people who move to a new place. It's not just you!

[lucybelle]

Agree with Rach. Any change of routine or place will bring about strange feelings. Just like you had to adjust when you moved in with each other, you have to adjust now that you're apart again. I went on vacation for a few weeks without my SO and just that time apart felt so strange. I had to do my own dishes and everything

[Dziubka]

Agree with Rach. Any change of routine or place will bring about strange feelings. Just like you had to adjust when you moved in with each other, you have to adjust now that you're apart again. I went on vacation for a few weeks without my SO and just that time apart felt so strange. I had to do my own dishes and everything

No shit! I forgot that they don't wash themselves!

I feel strange visiting my family's (brother's) place, even though I lived in that very house for 4 years before I moved out. It's actually a funny feeling because I know the place so well and it brings back a lot of memories everytime I visit (which is like twice a year - whoops), but I feel very clearly that it's not my home anymore. I'm very much a guest there.

Everytime I come back from a longer stay in Poland I have to concentrate so hard to speak German to people. I feel so ridicouls for it :-/ I'm also usually quite shocked how expensive some things are. Like some thing I normally would spend 5€ for without thinking twice makes me go "WTF? This is 20PLN! No way I'm spending that much!" and then I realize that I'm in Germany, that 5€ was probably a good pice and feel stupid


I'm alone at home now, because my boyfriend left for a vacation and... it's weird! We sleep in a tiny (90cm) twin bed and it feels HUGE without him. It's also so terribly quiet without our usual babble and banter. I just see it as one more sign that I'm supposed to be with him. It feels more normal and right than living alone.

[Ivy]

It happened to me just 2 weeks ago. I came back after 3 months of settle in there for a little longer vacation at home, and last week I was feeling so out of place. Oh my god.... I hope it won't be exactly like this every time I come back home for visits. It's absolutely weird.
By the way - my sister came for a visit from Italy this week and abut 5 times she was talking to my family and me in Italian and she noticed after 1 minute of silence of our part and strange looks at her It's so fun.
You'll be fine. We all gonna be fine. The thing that's bothering me .... is that home is home. Everything seems more approachable here. I miss that.

[Tooki]

I definitely share your sentiment.

It felt very weird for me to return home after visiting my GF for 3.5 months.