How Would You Feel?

[SnowDust]

So, yesterday my bf and I had a big fight. Today is a national holiday, I'm at home by myself and he had to work. His boss decided to come into town, and rather then tell his boss he had plans tonight he agreed to go out for supper/drinks after work. So I'm home alone, wont see the fireworks, and spent my first holiday away frmo friends and family by myself.

I felt bad today about how I reacted and the huge fight that we had. So I went to a bakery, and got him some chocolate covered strawberries and planned to have a surprise planned for when he got home. Just a treat and a little scavenger hunt with notes hidden around the apartment of reasons why I love him.

So I go to hide the first note, and what comes falling out of the cupboard, but a bag full of old pictures, cards and letters from his previous 2 serious relationships. I feel so sad. I had no idea he took this stuff with him when he moved, and I didnt take anything from past relationships, because they are in the past.

Now I feel so completely let down, and dont want to do anything for him. I dont know if its normal for people to keep this stuff? Should I feel upset about it? I cant help but feel not good enough, like he needs to keep this other stuff, and I'm not enough for him.

It sucks. I feel so far away frmo home since moving and now this.

[punkpain]

honestly its completely normal for people to keep things from the past. it reminds them of where they have been and what made them who they are now. at least that is my take on it. yes it can be hurtful but you should really talk to your s/o about why he keeps the items and what the represent to him instead of just assuming the worst. no one can help the fact that they have a past. its always going to hurt the people you met in the present but its part of getting closer to each other. let us know how things work out... hope you start feeling better soon.. hugs!

[ErinKristine]

It is normal to keep things from past relationships, I have a small photo album in a memory box my mom has for me that's filled with all sorts of things and I still have jewelry that I will still wear.

[garnet]

I saved things from my past relationships. I think as long as he isn't pouring over them, pining over the girls, it is totally normal. They are just part of his life, and probably special to him, just for the memories. Doesn't mean anything about his feelings, nor happiness with you, imo.

[Zephii]

I agree with what they said ^, to some extent at least. I have kept two or three photos from my past relationship, because they remind me how far I've come and occasionally come in handy when I'm talking about things to people; I think I have a card or two in one of my old Books of Shadows as well. But, they are hidden away, I rarely touch them. I know Obi has a few pictures of ex girlfriends and such too, and it doesn't bother me, because he'll go through it with me, and any comparisions are always favourable to me lol (he likes me to know he upgraded).
But, with that said, most everything else I got rid of after my "healing" period was over. Soft toys, jewelry, other gifts - all gone. I don't think it's healthy to cling to too many things. I'm sentimental though, if I own something it's because it means something to me. So if I kept a lot of things from old relationships it wouldn't be simply because I liked the item.

I'm sorry that he's acting like a bit of a dick, but remember that "this too shall pass." I hope your Canada day gets better before the end of it.