When do you consider the distance 'closed' ?

[MaggieS]

So, I've been looking around, and I think quite a few people have different definitions of CD, and I have no idea what my own definition of it is, and I'm wondering what you all think?

Right now I'm across the Atlantic for a year, with very strict program rules of no going home for visits, and it looking not likely that he can visit. So I automatically assumed, CD is when I come home.

But the thing is, we live at least 40 minutes away from one another, and when I come back I'll be going to Uni, which is about an hour away from him. The way it was before, I was in a seriously stressful position balancing him and my family--going over to his place to hang out/spend the night, coming home early enough for work/hanging out with family. I'm afraid it's going to be like that again when I come home, only balancing school and him rather than family and him. Because it really was unrealistic to expect him to come to me half as much as I came to him--he had his own place where we could have privacy, he had the longer work day, my family was always breathing down my throat, there's more to do in his city, my work hours were much more flexible. And when I'm at Uni I'll be in a dorm for at least the first semester, most likely the first year, and it'll again be a situation of him having the disgustingly long workday/the better living situation. And I've never even considered asking him to move closer to my Uni's town--he's military. If we're not CD until he's free...but then he's going to Uni as soon as he's done with the Military. I would never ever impose on his decision of Uni's, but it would break my heart if he went to one that made us LD again.

Is it CD if we're not in the same city? (Let alone the same house, like some of the people on site.)

[Sora1101]

My definition would be that you live close enough to your SO to see them whenever you wanted to, you could live an hour away but you're "close distance" because you can see them at any time, you don't need to save tons of money and take a plane or whatever, all you need to do would be to hop in a car and see them.

[lucybelle]

There's been these discussions before. An hour away to me seems like CD because I have the money and the means to get somewhere an hour away basically whenever I feel like it. But for a teenager, or someone without a savings, or without transportation it is more LD because it is harder for them to get there.

To me, personally, closing the distance meant moving under one roof together.

[Tooki]

Living under the same roof is CD for me as well. Maybe even living in the same town or city.

[H.Mikenzi]

Yeah, I tend to agree that it's living together or at least in the the same town. I know that when I 'close the distance' with my boyfriend, it'll be me moving there and in with him.

[lademoiselle]

Closing the distance for me would mean living either together or in the same town.

[13000km]

For me closing the distance meant moving across the pacific and to the same town, we were less than a mile away. He then moved 30 mins away, but that was definitely still close distance compared to 8000 miles away. We had the means to meet regularly without prior planning.

[Xanahtas]

For my realtionship, i would class CD as living under the same roof. Neither of us would have time or money to see each other all the time even if we lived in the same area. It differs from person to person and what their situation is

[Moon]

Actually the important question here is, what do YOU consider closing the distance. There is no rule or definitive answer really, it's all about what you think. For me, I'd be happy being within a few hour drive, but my boy is 4200 miles and an ocean away now, so it's different for everybody. I think the one commonality though would be being able to see each other regularly, or an amount that feels pretty good to you both.

[MaggieS]

If close distance is seeing each other as much as is needed to make me happy, we won't be CD until we live together xD Yay...
But seriously, for me, I think it's living in the same town. An hours drive may not seem like much, but that was so much stress for the short time that we were together before LD, there's no way I could really consider that 'good' again. Obviously much preferable to our current status of an ocean away xD But not what I would consider close distance, I suppose.

[MaggieS]

Double post, sorry.

[SonyaKitty]

I consider anything less than 5 hours away CD

[kirbycat]

I think I'd also define close-distance - for myself - as being able to spend time together conveniently whenever you choose, without being restricted by cost, difficulty of travel, whatever.

In my current situation, my SO is a 2 1/2 hour drive away from me. However, our visits are more restricted by his work schedule and my school schedule than by the distance. He works at a camp, so his schedule's completely dependent on whatever kind of groups they're hosting from week to week. I'm a grad student who works during the day and has class in the evening, so my available time is very tight. We're currently going two weeks or less between visits. This is very refreshing considering we used to be some six states apart, but I still wouldn't call us CD. But then, with our current schedules, we could be only an hour apart and still only be seeing each other every other week or so.

So, in other words...it depends.

[efish1042]

Where you can easily reach your SO when you want/need to. I lived a 7 hr drive away. If something happened to my SO, I would have had to move heaven and earth to clear my schedule and rush down and I would have to stay a few days because travel was an event that took up most of the day. Now, I live 5 min away and I can say "I'l be right there."
But it's different for everyone.
A millionaire with a private jet would be able to fly from here to my home in his private jet in < 2 hr.