Not sure where to move

[lissla]

Hi there so my boyfriend and I want to move in together. We are having difficulty on deciding where to move though.

He is from Australia and I am from Canada, we are both willing to move we just aren't sure which option is better. Both have ups and downs.

If we move to Australia I can go to university there, and he already has a good job and car etc. here. The downside is I will miss my family terribly and I'm not sure if my mother will allow it, and that might strain my relationship with my mother alot, which I don't want to do.

For Canada, I am supposed to be going back to school there in January, as I am on holidays in Australia at the moment. My boyfriend might have trouble finding a job there too I'm not sure.

I would like go try going to school in Australia I'm just not sure how to convince my mother, she is expecting me to return to college in Canada in January, but I would like to be with my boyfriend at that time because he is having a major surgery on his leg.

I just need some outside advice because my family seems to think we are crazy and says we can be apart for a bit and are not joined at the hip. I would just like to support him and be there for him during his surgery.

Typically I would like to return home for Christmas, then go back to Australia and start uni.

Some advice on what to do please... I am getting very stressed!

My boyfriend said he is fine with coming back to Canada with me but with his surgery and stuff we would be apart while I'm at school there for awhile because he has to recover.

P.S. I am 19 and he is 21

[Tooki]

Just quickly, are you able to afford international student rants in Australia (or are you able to get the CSP rate)?

How good is your boyfriends job? It might not be worth for him to quit his job yet. Plus if he is having his surgery, he is better off rehabilitating in Australia.

I recommend that you two wait it out before he plans to move to Canada, in the case that you can't move to Australia. That will allow him to save, plus look into getting a job in Canada.

Discuss the process of you staying with your boyfriend with your mother as well. University enrolments should be closed up already for semester 1 next year (Starting in late February)

[lissla]

Well for the student rates my mom is paying for my schooling... but if she doesn't want me to go in Australia then I can't afford them because she won't support me

And yea we have to wait I suppose I'm not sure if I should do my semester in Canada in January and be apart for a bit or take it off and work in Aus and be with him for his surgery and stuff

[MadMolly]

He could always get a 2 year working holiday visa and move to Canada for 2 years. He's perfectly eligible as he's under 30. I'm an Australian going to Canada for a year or two under that program.

[Zephii]

Honestly, I think you'd be best to live for at least a year in each place before deciding on one or another. You're young, you have time to trial it and decide, because you can't know you'll be happy somewhere until you give it a go. There are pros and cons to each country. Australia, for example, has far better rates of pay and better weather, while Canada seems to have the better health care and a simpler immigration process (cheaper too!)

But, you both need to work out what are priorities for you and what you need as a couple. What are the education outcomes like? Where in each country would you live? What's the support network like from his family vs yours? Country or city? etc.

[kteire]

I agree with Zephii - very good idea to try living in both places. If my SO were Australian though, I'd probably live there I just hate how cold it is back home in the Great White North!

My SO and I both had to move to a different country at first in order to close the distance. He's from Ireland and I'm from Canada, and we'd both already used up the working holiday visas we could get. Because of this though, we both have an idea of where we do or don't want to settle.

Having your mum pay for student fees when studying abroad is quite a big ask, honestly. If she's willing to do that, good, but otherwise maybe it'd be best for him to try a working holiday visa while you finish school? I just know I could never ask my mum to pay the student fees I'll be paying to go to school here in the UK... makes my stomach churn just thinking of it :P

[Tooki]

I asked because international student fees are close to $23,000 AUD per year. And does your boyfriend have a university graduate job?

The Working Holiday Visa is a good idea though. I think that you should wait for his surgery and rehab to be done before you make a decision for him to move to you.

[lissla]

thanks for the replies guys, still having trouble deciding what to do for the next few months, looks like we might have to go long distance for awhile again :S