Confused or over analyzing

[aprildawn]

Hello, I am brand new to the forum. First let me tell you a little about me and my SO, we met on FB 7 months ago and we knew we were the one for each other the moment we met. We fell so madly in love with each other. He flew to meet me on July 2, 2012 and instantly we were comfortable with each other. We have been amazing together since day 1! We've spent countless hours texting, phone calls and skyping..we made plans back in October for me ad my daughter to move with him in November, long story short, it didn't happen then as he got "cold feet", so we postponed it. We get along just great and our communication is amazing! We both feel that our meeting happened for a reason we have such an amazing connection! We have had two fall outs with each other when both times we broke up saying we were done only to find ourselves right back with each other. Even when we were fighting, we were texting each other almost constantly! Well this last fight we had made us so much stronger in our relationship however just recently I feel he has distanced himself somewhat or either I'm over reacting. Recently he doesn't text me as often as he says he is just busy at work and I know he probably is. But I keep thinking in the beginning we texted constantly. Now he does call me and we skype pretty much every night but the lack of texting has bothered me. This is a man now that would text e just to say I'm the most beautiful woman in his world and he loves me. Or he would call me in the morning to tell me that. I guess I'm just finding it hard to believe that he texted a lot then and now it's different. He says it's just because he is busy and he is not one for texting, he loves real conversation. Two weeks ago he texted me saying how we have to make our plans for me to move there and this has to happen, there's no turning back, it's either we do it now or it's never going to happen, I agreed. So we skyped and he told me his plans were to come in March and pack me and my daughter and drive us to California. Very romantic, but I for whatever reason, feel its not gonna happen, I guess because of the first time. I asked him right out if something was troubling him that he needs to talk to me about and he said, no. I know that if there was, he would tell me, he has always been honest. Idk, I'm just feeling there is something not right with him. I hope I'm wrong. Is there others who has had these feelings too, please share. When I ask him or say how I feel, he says I always let my insecurity get in the way?

[kayla_622]

It seems to me that he has just grown out of the "honeymoon" phase of your relationship and you are still in it. This happened to me. My SO and I would text and talk to each other constantly and then he just sort of stopped doing it as much. I was very confused and worried that I had done something wrong and that he was growing distant but, it was just him settling into our relationship. You don't need to text, skype and talk to each other on the phone constantly to still share a connection. Try to figure out a time for you both to be able to sit down and talk to each other. Maybe 30 minutes a day. Whatever works for you both.

With him getting "cold feet"...have you two met in person before this November move? It sounds like this was going to be your first meeting and you and your daughter were just going to go out and see him and live with him all in one step. If that was the case, I can see why he got cold feet. It might have been too much for him to handle and moving at such a pace could've been overwhelming for him. I can't say he wont back out again but I personally think the first time you meet each other shouldn't also be the day you two close the distance. That's a lot to deal with at once for most people.

[MattDavies86]

It seems to me that he has just grown out of the "honeymoon" phase of your relationship and you are still in it. This happened to me. My SO and I would text and talk to each other constantly and then he just sort of stopped doing it as much. I was very confused and worried that I had done something wrong and that he was growing distant but, it was just him settling into our relationship. You don't need to text, skype and talk to each other on the phone constantly to still share a connection. Try to figure out a time for you both to be able to sit down and talk to each other. Maybe 30 minutes a day. Whatever works for you both.

Off topic, sorry to hijack but Kayla, what you said here ^ was perfect, you just solved what I've been feeling, I think that's what's been going on with me, I know I still love my SO, but I think I'm out of the "honeymoon" phase as you called it, thanks for that!

[Kiyama]

It sounds like a big decision after only seven months. You've only met each other once and you're already moving in with him?
I'd get cold feet, I can tell you as much. I think you should both take a step back and maybe organize a longer visit for now to see how it goes.
A for the lack of texts, it also sounds to me as if he's out of the honeymoon phase. Nothing to worry about

[kayla_622]

Off topic, sorry to hijack but Kayla, what you said here ^ was perfect, you just solved what I've been feeling, I think that's what's been going on with me, I know I still love my SO, but I think I'm out of the "honeymoon" phase as you called it, thanks for that!

Glad I could help!

[lovedup]

[QUOTE=kayla_622;259248]It seems to me that he has just grown out of the "honeymoon" phase of your relationship and you are still in it. This happened to me. My SO and I would text and talk to each other constantly and then he just sort of stopped doing it as much. I was very confused and worried that I had done something wrong and that he was growing distant but, it was just him settling into our relationship. You don't need to text, skype and talk to each other on the phone constantly to still share a connection. Try to figure out a time for you both to be able to sit down and talk to each other. Maybe 30 minutes a day. Whatever works for you both.

Hi Kayla, just wanted to say this may have helped me . I came back from Canada a month and a half ago, before that, during and after it was amazing.
We would viber everyday, maybe twice, and i would be excited.
We have been going out for 4 months, and known each other 5 until around a few weeks ago, somebody mentioned something and it caused me to over think (I do this often :/), and doubt our love, which I know I do. Since that day, I feel empty, I have a pain in my chest like I long for her, and I find that I'm not as excited about skyping and texting as before. I am supposed to be going back to Canada in march, and I still want to, I just need help understanding why the spark had gone, and how to bring it back. Because I love her dearly, it's just I can't feel anything .. And I just don't feel like doing Anything at all.. Thanks for you help if you can x

Ps.. Sorry this is all over the place, not good at expressing myself. If you need to ask me any question please do.. Because I love this girl, and I want the feeling back.