How did you do it?

[thatgirl]

Me SO and I have been together a year in February. We actually met in person and he came to see me 3x last year (he in New York, I am in North Carolina, going to college.) he used to be very persistent with seeing me once a month but I believe he finally realized it wasn't possible between my schooling and financial issues. I've already met his family (hence why he can come here) but he hasn't met mine so I cannot go up there (I'm 20, he's 22). We are discussing engagement and like timelines and things and he insists that I move in with him once we are engaged because he hates the Distance. But, if we get married I want to do it at home! How can I plan a wedding from 600 miles away, and how do I justify it to my super Christian parents? I forgot to say the reason I'm agreeing to move there is because he is in the process of being hired for a government position stationed in ny, my college graduation is may 9 2014.. Is this enough information? Don't even know.

Anyway the question I am getting at is how would you do this if You were in the situation?

[dragonlady]

i would be oke with getting engaged, but i would wait to marry when you finishd school!! (for the living together too)
you got all the time in the world when you done with school your still young.
and then you got a lot of time to visite your parents and for him to ask for your hand
what are 1,5 years on a human life?
finish school!!!! and you both have the time to save up for that wonderful wedding!

[thatgirl]

OHH No no no I didnt make that part clear at all I guess haha, we are DEFINITELY waiting until after I graduate and he is finished with his training for his job. I told him I wasn't going to say yes if he didnt wait until then! lol

[dragonlady]

ohhhhh sorry then its good was afraid you where not going to finnish school
then you have the time for him to meet your parents too! a holiday somewhere maybe? i geus you go back to your parents with some holidays?

[kteire]

I will admit that while some people in my family are quite religious, I'm an atheist so was not in agreement with some people I love a great deal when my SO and I moved in together. What I said to them was 'It's between me and God'. My cousin went further to add that she doesn't believe that the loving God that the New Testament describes would condemn her for wanting to be with the man she loves.

If I were in your situation, I would worry about one thing at a time I do the same thing, and my SO has to keep telling me - one step at a time, once we figure this out we can worry about the next thing. I know plenty of people who have planned weddings from completely different countries! You can always travel, and at least being familiar with your home will help a great deal in planning things. But for now, you're young and have to finish your degree and close the distance before stressing about wedding planning!

[Zephii]

I'm a firm believer that you need to live your life for yourself, how you wish to, and that the people who love you will come to grips with it in time. I guess you can tell your parents that it's hard to be certain about someone until you've spent enough time together in person, and you can't do that without closing the distance first. Hopefully they will see the good sense of that. Planning a wedding at a distance isn't the end of the world. People do it all the time for "destination" weddings, there are ladies on this forum planning their weddings right now and I planned a wedding at a distance too - I was living with my SO in Canada, planning a wedding and immigration to Australia. It's do-able, with enough time and a helping hand from family on the other side.
I'm all for living together before marriage and honest to God, I can't see why anyone would do the distance longer than absolutely necessary anyway. If you can close the distance (and have money to survive, I'm not advocating poor planning) then by all means, do so!

[leonsfangirl]

I'm a firm believer that you need to live your life for yourself, how you wish to, and that the people who love you will come to grips with it in time. I guess you can tell your parents that it's hard to be certain about someone until you've spent enough time together in person, and you can't do that without closing the distance first. Hopefully they will see the good sense of that. Planning a wedding at a distance isn't the end of the world. People do it all the time for "destination" weddings, there are ladies on this forum planning their weddings right now and I planned a wedding at a distance too - I was living with my SO in Canada, planning a wedding and immigration to Australia. It's do-able, with enough time and a helping hand from family on the other side.
I'm all for living together before marriage and honest to God, I can't see why anyone would do the distance longer than absolutely necessary anyway. If you can close the distance (and have money to survive, I'm not advocating poor planning) then by all means, do so!

This!

I'm planning (well my SO has done the bulk of it) a wedding 4000+ miles away (Me UK, SO and wedding in Canada) it can be done, just needs to email alot, know what you want and have people you trust on the other side looking into stuff for you. Other than that Zephii nailed it.