international pre nups and other things you need to do before closing the distance

[Carenza LaRue]

Rob and I have discussed the possibility of getting married. It's the only way I can join him in the US.
Finding a job in law enforcement isn't an option for me and law enforcement is the only thing I know and I am good at, after a career of 18 years, so we figured it would be hard to get a work related visa.

the alternative is the fiancee visa and that means we have to get married within a period of 90 days after entering the country.

our situation:
he has a young son, I have a young daughter who I am of course taking with me. (The father of my child is another issue... I think I have to fight him in court to take my girl with me, but I am working on finding a solution.)

then I am the owner of a home and I don't think I can sell the place soon, due to the financial crisis. So I am thinking of renting the place out for a bit AND it's a safe thought to know that IF things don't work out, I can always come back to it.

Rob owns a home himself and I will be living with him there. His ex gave him a hard time money wise after they got divorced and he is of course very cautious. I understand completely.
so we were discussing the possibility of pre nuptials. IF things go wrong, I don't want anything to do with him any more, not money wise at least.

Now I was googling for 'international pre nups' and found that it's a tough matter. I really need to get a lawyer for this.
Question I now have.... should I take a Dutch lawyer or a US one?
Any one has experience with that? How does it work?

Apart from that..... I REALLY need to make a 'closing the distance' plan. I am an airhead when it comes to things like this so I need to put a plan on paper.

What are the things needed to be done BEFORE you apply for that Fiancee visa?
And how to deal with all this money wise? We decided not to have a joined bank account, due to bad situations with our exes in the past.

How would you handle this?

[kacie]

I'm guessing you're going with the K1 visa, you need proof of relationship and of meeting

https://travel.state.gov/visa/immigr...ypes_2994.html

[dragonlady]

i am just getting started adn this merry go round..
found out that the cost for a visa ar about 2000 dollar (about 1500 euro) and have been looking about movers form some stuff i have
(too move 2 m3 cost about the same as the visa every 1m3 more is about 500 euro extra that is including all the paper work asumming you have a good visa)
about the prenubs you could call the dutch legal help line, they could help you with some quiestions you have https://www.jurofoon.nl/juridische_h...ische_hulp.asp
and if you are going to rent the place you could have some troubel with the bank where you morgage is you need there premission and you need somebody here that you can trust with helping out , and looking out to the home

it is not much but i hope it helps a bit good luck!!

[lucybelle]

For visa questions I refer you to visajourney.com the best resource out there.

My SO and I signed a prenup. I'm not sure how 100% unbreakable it is though. The thing is we were cheapskates and probably didn't do everything 100% the way it was supposed to be done. I had my lawyer friend from the USA draft up a prenup with the conditions we wanted in it. She sent it to us, we reviewed it, had a few things changed, then we had it notarized at the US embassy in Costa Rica. We didn't get him counsel because lawyers are even more expensive here than in the USA. So I think that could be a good reason to have it broken which makes me a little worried, but obviously not enough to shell out $$$$ for another lawyer.

[Carenza LaRue]

i am just getting started adn this merry go round..
found out that the cost for a visa ar about 2000 dollar (about 1500 euro) and have been looking about movers form some stuff i have
(too move 2 m3 cost about the same as the visa every 1m3 more is about 500 euro extra that is including all the paper work asumming you have a good visa)
about the prenubs you could call the dutch legal help line, they could help you with some quiestions you have https://www.jurofoon.nl/juridische_h...ische_hulp.asp
and if you are going to rent the place you could have some troubel with the bank where you morgage is you need there premission and you need somebody here that you can trust with helping out , and looking out to the home

it is not much but i hope it helps a bit good luck!!

hey you!

thanks for the link..... will look into that...

and oooo..... I didn't know I needed permission from the bank to rent my place out.

and thinking about that...... I have to sort out a lot of current troubles with the tax office as well..

I don't think I will be taking a lot of furniture with me.... just some personal stuff and that's it.
but yeah.... wow...... this whole thing is very expensive when it comes to fee, lawyers, travel expenses...

pfew......

quite an undertaking.....

[Carenza LaRue]

For visa questions I refer you to visajourney.com the best resource out there.

My SO and I signed a prenup. I'm not sure how 100% unbreakable it is though. The thing is we were cheapskates and probably didn't do everything 100% the way it was supposed to be done. I had my lawyer friend from the USA draft up a prenup with the conditions we wanted in it. She sent it to us, we reviewed it, had a few things changed, then we had it notarized at the US embassy in Costa Rica. We didn't get him counsel because lawyers are even more expensive here than in the USA. So I think that could be a good reason to have it broken which makes me a little worried, but obviously not enough to shell out $$$$ for another lawyer.

mmm.... thanks for your reply.

makes me wonder what would be best in our situation.....since I would be the one entering the US unmarried and he is already there.
For him, there aren't so many changes... it would be easier to have a pre nup set up by a US lawyer....so I can have it reviewed by a Dutch lawyer.... then sign before I enter unmarried.
so basically, that is one step BEFORE the application of that Fiancee visa..

and is there a time frame between signing a pre nup and a marriage certificate? I mean, can we sign for pre nup.... then wait for a year or so before we actually get married?

wow..... all these questions dazzle me....

[Carenza LaRue]

I'm guessing you're going with the K1 visa, you need proof of relationship and of meeting

https://travel.state.gov/visa/immigr...ypes_2994.html

yeah I know.... thanks!

well..... I kept my plane tickets, I have photo's and prints of conversations we had over the past years....
that should be enough shouldn't it?

[lucybelle]

and is there a time frame between signing a pre nup and a marriage certificate? I mean, can we sign for pre nup.... then wait for a year or so before we actually get married?

wow..... all these questions dazzle me....

I've heard you should sign it at least 1-3 months before getting married so neither party looks "coerced". A year ahead of time I'm sure would be fine as well.

[digitalfever]

I'd consult a US lawyer since that's where you'll be getting married. Each province has its own unique set of laws and therefore that'll influence your prenup. I would try to contact a few lawyers and go with one you feel comfortable with. Once you've determined your "terms" discuss them with the lawyer indepthly. Ask as many questions as you want and don't be shy!

If you have assets you want to be protected include those. Investments (hide those!)

[Carenza LaRue]

thanks so far every one!

I feel blessed with friends like you....
and I feel blessed with an American friend, who came to live in the NL many many years ago.

She agreed to help me with this as she has been on the other side, marriage to a Dutch guy.

She says it would be a lot more easy if I don't apply for a fiancee visa.... but enter the US as the spouse of a US citizen.

[lucybelle]

She says it would be a lot more easy if I don't apply for a fiancee visa.... but enter the US as the spouse of a US citizen.

My SO and I chose the spouse visa. It takes a little longer but it's cheaper and you get your greencard as soon as you get in the USA. Well, one month later. But still, you can apply for jobs, travel freely, etc.

[mllebamako]

My SO and I chose the spouse visa. It takes a little longer but it's cheaper and you get your greencard as soon as you get in the USA. Well, one month later. But still, you can apply for jobs, travel freely, etc.

Same here. We were going to do the fiance visa but then it seemed so stressful to have to do all that paperwork right after arriving in the US. And then so much more paperwork to get a green card, etc. So we decided to get married here in Mali and then later do the spouse visa.

As for the prenup, we did a lot of research on this. I think you should do the prenup in whichever country you're planning on living in. If you are planning on living in both, I was advised to do 2 separate prenups. We got lucky because Malian law has basically a built in prenup, where you sign whether you want common property or separation of property on the marriage certificate. So, we didn't need to do a separate prenup here.
For the US (since we're planning on living there later), I had my lawyer draft up a prenup and then we found him a lawyer that was comfortable doing skype appointments. We worked the whole thing out by email and skype. When it was done, we did the same thing as lucybelle, took it and had it notarized at the US Embassy then sent it back to the US.

Hope this helps! I know how complicated this can be.

[dragonlady]

that is all good to know i will keep following this tread.
but i got a question when you got married and enter on a spouse visa are you done then? or is there more things to go through after? or are you done and can you live happily ever after?

[Carenza LaRue]

that is all good to know i will keep following this tread.
but i got a question when you got married and enter on a spouse visa are you done then? or is there more things to go through after? or are you done and can you live happily ever after?

yeah....

spouse visa.... and you need permission to work from USCIS for the time you don't have a green card.

for me it's not over then...

cause my daughter needs to go to school.... and I have to find work.

oooo..... and don't forget to get your diploma's translated.
and to update your CV.

then bank account thingies.... joint or not...
and testament thingies....

ugh..... I develop a headache already from this.... hahaha