Money problems/closing the distance..

[laceyd]

So, my (somewhat kind of long distance) boyfriend and I have been together for almost 8 months now and we are more in love than we have ever been! We met for the first time back in late December. I went back to Virginia in January twice. He came to Pennsylvania in February twice and he just left my house today at 5 am to go back and go to work. So, we are doing really good!

Our main problem is that I don't have a job and I've never had a job. And believe me, I am putting all of my energy into find one for the past couple months! I live in a really small town so it is hard for someone to want an 18 year old with no experience. He got laid off from his job with his dad's company because the housing economy is bad right now. He started working with his grandpa cleaning windows and his grandma cleaning new houses, which pays good money. But as we keep visiting each other, we just spend like $200 of it each time. I can't stand not seeing him! But, I know that we need that money to get to our savings goal of $2000 (we are at about $900). We are looking to get a nice/cheap apartment in Virginia at least by May. Anyway, I was just wondering if anyone has gone through this? Trying to close the distance with money issues? I can't stand being away from the only person that I love for any longer

Someone please give me some advice!

[.:*Shaunna*:.]

I know how you feel, money issues is what is keeping us separated as well. I'm on a really good job but working here for about a year and a half as we are saving up to buy a house and want to reach certain savings goals before I move. It's hard and it does suck when money is an issue keeping two people apart from one another but I guess it makes it easier when we know it will be worth it in the end

[Sora1101]

Stop visiting until you have enough saved up to close the distance. At least thats what I would do. Would you really rather have him there with you for a few days/weeks knowing he's just going to have to leave you again or would you rather not see him for a few months but at the end of it be living together? To me it's an easy choice.

[Tooki]

You only need $1100 more to close the distance. Just do as Sora said and stop making visits until you have the money to close the distance.

[lucybelle]

Anytime anyone moves anywhere there will be money issues.

I would actually worry that $2000 is not enough. That'll be gone before you even know it.

[Kristin91]

I know not seeing him sucks a lot, but if you close the distance before you're financially able to it could bring a lot of resentment, anger, and other issues into your relationship. Keep trying to save money (even your spare change adds up eventually!), you could even try babysitting, dog sitting, house sitting, etc... People typically pay good money to keep their things (kids, homes, etc.) safe when they're away!

[laceyd]

Thanks everyone! And thank you a lot Kristin91!! I do dog sit for people, started posting ads on Craigslist and a care site and I have gotten a good bit of responses! We are even selling things that we don't need or use anymore so we are getting there. And he just got an interview for a good paying job, so wish us luck everyone.

Thanks again!

[ThePiedPiper]

Without meaning to sound condescending (and I really don't ), have you two come up with a budget once you move in together? $2,000 here in California would get you a couple month's worth of rent and utilities and that's living on a tight budget. I understand that you two are desperate to move in together/close the distance, but it seems like it will put a lot of financial strain on your relationship if only one of you is working and you have a savings goal of... $2,000. I would imagine you're not planning to live with his parents/grandparents forever and there are a lot of places that won't hire someone who's 18, no college education and no work experience. It's just something to consider before you get all gung ho about how you can't live apart from him. Fingers crossed he gets the better paying job, but depending on what the job is, it's still worth coming up with a better plan than a couple grand will get ya. Financial strain can put a lot of burden on couples and yours will be no exception. I think I would look realistically into what it's going to cost you to live there (rent, utilities, groceries, gas, car, insurance, etc.) and see how that factors in with his soon-to-be (hopefully!) new budget. Good luck!

[MattDavies86]

That's really not a lot of money when you think about it, in relevance, you can make that easy, as others have said stop visits for a while or at least prolong time between visits so you spend less and save more, in the long run you'll end up together everyday so it's worth it to sacrifice some visits.

[gage]

My girl and I have a similar situation. She graduates high-school this year and has decided that she wants to start a life and career with me more than anything. We are going very carefully about this and $5k is our savings goal. I have a budget program for Microsoft office that covers 90% of living expenses. It really does work well. I'm in Virginia and she lives in Chicago. I would love to talk about this with someone and discuss ideas on making financial difficulties easier.

[canadiansteve]

Try what I'm doing and open a gofundme page! I have a lot of faith in the kindness of successful people on internet, I mean, I did meet my girlfriend there after-all! I'm sure not all people would want to help, but even if you can get $100 dollars from 1000 people, at least you will have gotten somewhere!

[chizatlauren]

Don't visit each other in a while and have a specific money saving project.

My SO and I are not rich people, and he has a $2,000 bill from his car accident so he still has to save up for that, but here's what we do:

-We set our 'date' to be on October, 6 months from now. What we're doing now is we are saving up about $100 per pay day and that totals to $400 per month for the two of us. Be reminded that he's working a minimum wage job and I'm earning way less, so that's really hard for us. But you should really just put your heart into it.

-He now works 10 hours a day instead of 8, and he puts the overtime pay into our savings fund for his travel.

-I write freelance on oDesk so I can still earn whatever I can.

-Our goal is to have about $3000 by October. With our perseverance, I know we'll be able to do it. It's just a matter of doing your best, and try looking for online jobs, they really work for me.

[digitalfever]

I'd say that you guys are grossly underestimating the amount of money it takes to move and then survive financially.

I think you should realistically sit down and come up with a number that accounts for 3-months worth of wages, living costs and emergencies.

[squeeker]

Money is what is keeping my boyfriend and I from closing the distance. Though we are an international couple, so the expenses of travel and closing the distance is more. I have a part time job with flexible hours, which gives me enough for a plane ticket once a year at least, but I'm quitting in 3 months and will be seeing my boyfriend for just under 2 months and then starting university so I can get more education for a career I actually like. My boyfriend has already started his degree and will be done before me, so he should be able to get a job first. We've been forced to wait until we make enough money, if I would've stayed at my part time job, it would be more hopeless of ever closing the distance, but with a university education, it should help us a lot.

I know the desire to close the distance is strong. We all wish we could close the distance with our partners today. Unfortunately, money is the biggest thing stopping a lot of us from actually being able to close the distance as soon as we'd like and we have to work out realistic budgets on how much to save. You're 18.. still young.. perhaps you should consider taking some courses or a university degree to help you attain a better paying job so you and your partner do not have to struggle so much when you move in together. If you're lucky, you'll find the course you want at a university near him?

[TwoThree]

but even if you can get $100 dollars from 1000 people, at least you will have gotten somewhere!

Oh yeah! $ 100 000 can definitely get you somewhere! And it's totally deserved if all you do is sit on your ass and ask people for money!

What planet are you living on?