Closing the distance woes

[Yaaamiii]

I'm a little discouraged to say the least because for the past two years I've been planning on closing the distance no matter what by the time I graduated college. His program is a 5 year thing, even though we started at the same time, he'll be graduating a year after me. Boy does that make things kinda awkward. I'll be looking for a job and out in the real world while he's still in college. Bleep! My idea was always just to move to the city his college is located in but its just such a small city with not many job opportunities...so that doesn't really seem to be an option at the moment. I've been really down lately as we've talked about closing the distance for two years now...and it's not even possible. :/ The most we'd have to wait is until May 2014, but I'm just so dang tired of waiting. I know it sounds dumb but I just don't feel like I have the energy sometimes as being LD is so emotionally draining. I know life gets in the way and things come up, but that doesn't make it suck any less lol. I also know that it's just a year and stuff. But I keep thinking that I just am so exhausted of waiting. I feel so discouraged and I just don't wanna be long distance anymore. I just wanna be close to him and I can't and it's soooo damn frustrating.

I don't assume there can be much advice given, and I don't even know if I posted this in the right section, but I tried v.v... I'm just ranting. Sorry for the negativity, guys.

[Kiyama]

I understand you so well. I'm so sorry that it isn't possible for you to close the distance after planning and hoping for it so much
I really feel for you as I'm in a similar situation just that it is the other way round for us with not many job openings here for him.
Don't give up hope yet! You've come so far and it'll make you that much stronger. All that hardship and suffering you go through at times when you're long distance will be rewarded at the end. You'll look back and say " hey it wasn't easy but we got through it and it was so worth it"

[HisRaven]

You know I can really really relate to you. I am in college right now and my SO (though older than me) is still struggling with high school. I'm in the metroplitan city of our country full of jobs and survival stuff but his place is a small town with not many employment opportunities. And everything is wrong with us right now because of our situation.

Before, I used to think like you too. I was just exhausted from everything. I wanted to be with him and I was willing to relocate. But not seeing any effort from his side just started making me numb and feel like giving up on us.

And then I did some reading, went through articles and books on relationships because I do love him. And just realizing his situation was heart breaking. We believe as girls that we are being very patient with our man, sacrificing everything and such. But to be honest guys do that too. I know you know that but just think of it this way.

His man pride would be killing him right now. Even though he wants the best for you, right now everything inside him, his conscience, his thoughts, feelings, everything is just accusing him of being a failure because you'll be making it out in the job world sooner than him. His instincts of providing for his closed ones are constantly alarming him that he's not worth it. And really right now, that's exactly what he'd be feeling, that he's not worth you.

You need to realize, as a man, what he's going through is keeping him away from you. And he'd subconciously do things to make you be away from him. Like not let you close the distance. When inside he's just dying to feel deserving of your love again. Try talking to him, make him open up to you. Be very affectionate, he shouldn't feel accusing in any way at all even though everything in his mind is just doing that with him.

About the jobs thing. I know it's a huge sacrifice seeing where things are going these days, a good job is worth killing for (not literally). And here, the power of belief kicks in. If you believe in yourself then you can make it at his place as well. I know the pain of sacrificing the huge city life, all the good stuff here, jobs, education, facilities, luxuries, everything is good here except for the guy you love.

And for your relationship to last you need to make it your first priority. You will survive in the city really well. But if you really really love this guy then leave no room for doubt. Believe in yourself. If you're gonna be with him, and satisfied with your personal life. You'll find a way to pay the bills. Trust me I've been there =) and nothing is worth letting go of the guy you truly, exceptionally loved <3

Cheer up, don't let your relationship make you feel like it's work. I hope you don't have to leave him. And I really hope you two can get through this and stay together <3 My best of wishes for you and your life .

[Mayokohi]

*hugs* totally understand what you're going through. I'm finding this LDR emotionally draining too and you have been in a LDR much longer , so must be much much worse, but there must be a reason it lasted this long still right. Got to keep remembering it. I'm sure you've tried all ways to tackle this negativity already, so not sure if you want advice more... Just offering hugs and support now

[lucybelle]

I'm sorry. I know it sucks but I think you're making a smart decision.

Best wishes.

[Yaaamiii]

Thanks for the replies guys. I really appreciate them <3. I'm a bit heart broken by this and feel like there's no point in even going on anymore @_@...sigh. I'm just tired :/. Thanks for the support though ^^. I'm sure we'll be fine, I've just been a little bitter when I think of post-graduation now....but a 4 year relationship isn't going to just end, just like that.