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Closing the distance in a different country

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    Closing the distance in a different country

    I've had a number of people recently asking me if we've considered closing the distance in a third country. I was confused because I really can't see how that would benefit us at all. Why move somewhere we're both unfamiliar with and we both have to start from scratch? I always thought at least one of us should keep close to their roots to make things go smoother, financially, socially, legally etc. But enough people have asked me that to make me wonder if I'm missing something.

    Has anyone closed the distance or considered closing the distance in a country neither of you has lived in before? Or even just a different city? What was your reason and how did it go?

    Like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. - Steve Jobs

    #2
    Well, for us it would be pretty damn difficult to close the distance in a third country. How would either of us get residency? It would be easier for me, being a US citizen, but it'd be nearly impossible for my SO. I guess if you're in the EU, it's a little easier to move to a different country.

    Recently my SO and I have talked about moving to Italy. I really want to learn Italian and for whatever reason I have a pull there. But first, my SO needs to get a US passport. As a resident he has to stay in the country for 6 months a year or he loses the residency. Once he's a citizen I definitely think we would consider moving to a different country to start a new adventure together! It'll be easier moving as two US citizens.

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      #3
      It's an option for us. As lucybelle said though, it would be easier as two citizens of the same country. Is it even possible for both spouses to get double citizenship? My SO could benefit a lot from spening a few years in Germany so he is looking at getting a fellowship or postdoc and a job there. I could also get a job there because I am an EU citizen.. I sort of speak german, I am qualified. etc.
      I don't have any distinct plans for moving back home and it would help my career a lot more if I stayed international for a while longer. The US is just a bit too far right now, my SO would stand no chance getting any job or occupation in my country, so it would be like a good medium-term solution. And there is a very small chance this is what is going to happen.

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        #4
        Down the line, I see myself living in Europe with my GF. She is EU so we are flexible in that regard. Once I get some experience and certified, I could be in a position to get a good job in the UK. My GF would want to live there most if we were living in Europe.

        I could also see myself living in New Zealand with my GF.

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          #5
          Originally posted by Tooki View Post
          Down the line, I see myself living in Europe with my GF. She is EU so we are flexible in that regard. Once I get some experience and certified, I could be in a position to get a good job in the UK. My GF would want to live there most if we were living in Europe.

          I could also see myself living in New Zealand with my GF.
          I don't mean to be negative, I am sure it's doable... but as a heads up... UK has very very strict immigration and labour market policies, it's very expensive and hard to get in by yourself, double trouble if you're both immigrants. so in that sense, New Zealand is an easier bet .. cause, if I am not mistaken, they almost pay you to go work there

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            #6
            I have actually thought about the possibility since I'm not even sure where I'm going to work in the future and with me and my SO being so close to the family it's going to be painful for the one who has the leave family. I'm a Macau citizen and I have a lot of opportunities there but I'm planning on trying my chances on nearby Asian countries since I want a good career for my future. With my SO, working outside of Chile is going to be harder though since his English isn't on a level he could be teaching it and he's studying education at the moment (I don't think Spanish is going to be much help anywhere in Asia). I'm currently applying for an international exchange program and then I can only see what we can do once I finish college and we start looking for jobs I guess...

            Looking for the future...


            First Meeting: March 20 2016
            Got separated: August 2016
            Reunion: July 2017
            Officially together: January 2018
            ... And many meetings later ...

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              #7
              Once my time as a student in the US runs out, we can either start the paper work for adjustment of status, or move back to Singapore. But, we both want to live and work in China, so we have to start looking for jobs available, and think about what exactly it is we want to do there. Both of us speak both English and Mandarin. For most work visas, there is an option of bringing your spouse/children with you as dependents. This comes with restrictions, like your estimated income, where (or even if) your spouse is allowed to find work too, etc. It's possible, but challenging.

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                #8
                A scottish friend of mine who is currently in a LDR with a girl in the US told me they are thinking about moving to the UK together, or Ireland

                Relationship began: 05/22/2012
                First Met: 03/21/2013 - 03/30/2013
                Second Visit: 06/06/2013 - 08/21/2013 ~ Proposal: 07/06/2013 ♥
                Third Visit: 10/09/2013 - 01/08/2013
                Closed the distance: 11/20/2014 ♥
                Married: 1/24/2015
                Became Resident: 9/14/2015

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                  #9
                  Just a few months ago, we were considering moving to Senegal (we'd be able to do this because we both have Malian citizenship- I would just need to get a Malian passport to prove it). There are several African countries we could move to without needing visas.

                  I think in the future, we'd consider moving to Senegal or Ivory Coast (where he's originally from) or something. Mali is (mostly) great but has a lot of negatives. It'd be nice to be near the ocean, or in a country-not-at-war

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                    #10
                    Originally posted by summerkid View Post
                    I don't mean to be negative, I am sure it's doable... but as a heads up... UK has very very strict immigration and labour market policies, it's very expensive and hard to get in by yourself, double trouble if you're both immigrants. so in that sense, New Zealand is an easier bet .. cause, if I am not mistaken, they almost pay you to go work there
                    It's quite easy to move there as an Australian because the accounting standards are very similar and so many Australians do it already so I dont see why its not possible in the future. The economy is in the shits but things should be on the upturn by the time this can happen. It's also hard for an Australian to NOT get into the UK.

                    As I said before, my GF is EU so she cannot move there. Also you don't need to tell me what's expensive, I live in Australia .

                    NZ? Not really unless you are highly experienced. I'm only contemplating going there because I have connections there and I have no work restrictions as an Australian.

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                      #11
                      We've considered it. Mainly for job and visa issues. If my SO got a job somewhere in the EU, it would be easy for me to move to him because I don't need a visa or anything. We discussed it and I said it would have to be a country like France, England or Spain, mainly because of the language barrier I would face in other EU countries. But then the economy in Spain is at it's lowest so I'm not sure I'd get a job there. Anyway, we've considered it an option but for many reasons, we'd prefer one of our own countries of course

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                        #12
                        From what I've heard it's a feasible option for many, when you can't get a visa etc for the UK or US and can't move to their country for some reason, some people meet in the middle or choose another country near to one (same sort of culture perhaps) a good example would be the Philippines, apparently from what I'm told by someone who lives there is that it's relatively easy to move there and get work, it's in the back of my mind, as a very final resort

                        "Buddha made you for me" - My SO



                        1st Met/Visit: Nov 2012 - Thailand
                        2nd Visit: May 2013 - Thailand
                        3rd Visit: Jun 2013 - Thailand
                        4th Visit: Sep 2013 - Thailand
                        5th Visit: Sep 2013 - Jan 2014 - UK
                        6th Visit: Apr 2014 - Thailand - Marry
                        7th Visit: Sept 14th 2014 - Thailand - Wedding Ceremony / Party
                        Close the distance - Sept 21st 2014 - UK
                        UK Wedding Party: November 8th 2014

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                          #13
                          My SO is a EU citizen, so naturally he could live wherever he wants within the area, provided that he could find a job there. As his spouse, I have the right to follow him, and I'm guessing I'd have bigger chances at finding a job somewhere else than in Finland. But it was never a plan for us, though I understand that it would make sense for other people. If we decided to move somewhere where we would be halfway from his country and mine, France would be ideal for us, especially given that I speak the language fluently and have worked for several years for French companies.

                          Except I'd rather die than live in France.
                          I thought of you and the years and all the sadness fell away from me - Pink Floyd

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                            #14
                            We ll consider it too in case he dont get PR of Canada. We will probably move to Dubai in that case. He said he ll love to move to my country but i am sure he wouldnot like it here because in here we dont have even basic life necessities for example electricity and water going out for 18 hours per day.. This is something i am not getting use to while living in this country since i born than how could he?

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                              #15
                              We will almost certainly do that. I am not living in my country at the moment anyway - and first closed distance (for a bit over a year) will happen here in Switzerland (starting in 16 days!!!), where I'm studying. He's been out of Australia for many years, so I'm quite sure we won't end up down there and I certainly don't want to force him to move in my home country Slovenia, he'll have too little options for his work there and as he already discovered, the language is quite impossible to learn... So our plan is to stay together, but we have no idea where! We'll just follow each other around and settle down wherever it works best for the both of us, I suppose. It's kind of strange not knowing where we will be in two years, but as long as we're together, I don't mind!

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