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Am I selfish to make him move here?

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    Am I selfish to make him move here?

    My boyfriend lives in California and I live in New York. I love NY and he isn't a big fan of CA. We have discussed him moving here but I am having some difficulty with it. I want him to move here but he would be giving up everything just to be close to me. I feel horrible letting him (or really making him since I don't want to leave NY) move here because I feel he will have a lot of issues trying to find a job in NY and he has a pretty decent one in CA. What should I do? He plans to move here at the end of the year and I have such mixed feelings because I don't want to really ruin everything he has for himself in CA. Any advice?????

    #2
    we figured the one with the less payed job moves, but that is the simple methode, if you could live there and such you have to figure out for your self..

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      #3
      I would talk to him about it and see what exactly he wants and in the end let it be his decision 100%. Because if you do feel like you're "forcing" him, he's more than likely going to tell you otherwise because he doesn't want you upset and he does want to be with you, just maybe him moving isn't the way he wants it to happen. So bottom line...make it his choice completely and make sure that that is 100% clear to him that it is his choice. And discuss alternatives like maybe postponing the move until he is ready, or maybe both of you move to a whole new location together, or you just wait until he has a job set in stone in New York. Hope something in here helps you

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        #4
        How we figured it out was I have more solid support systems here then he has there. Plus he hates CA. He has said that it would be a long time before he was solid on his feet again if he moved here but then he says he is willing to move so that we can work (at the beginning of our relationship we both agreed someone would move by the end of 2013)

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