Summery. 2003-2006 saw each other everyday. 2007-2009 he moved and we saw each other twice a month. 2010-2011 only talked on the phone. 2012 lived together. 2013 he moved and we see other every other month. Almost ten years later im getting tired of chasing him. I love this man very much. But he is talking about moving over seas and changing jobs and the last thing i want to do is be stuck in one location again just to wait to follow him around. None of my friends understand because they never been in a ldr. They all know him because we dated during hs. He wants me to move but isnt ready for us to live together again. I need advice.
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Why is he moving so much? Are you considering yourself a steady couple, do you plan future together?
it's hard to say anything with the details you gave.
I get a feeling from your post that it's a very onesided relationship where you chase him and he doesn't care all that much. (But I might be very wrong not knowing any details)
Ask yourself if he would do the same for you if it were you moving? Any relationship is two way thing and everyone deserves to be getting from another person as much as they are giving“We're all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness — and call it love — true love.”
― Robert Fulghum, True Love
Met UK 3.08.2012-5.08.12 ->UK 1.12.12-3.12.12->PL 8.02.13-16.02.13->PL 1.06.13-9.06.13->UK 3.08.13-17.08.13->UK 26.10.2013-02.11.2013->PL 30.11.2013-08.12.2013->PL 22.03.2014-29.03.2014->UK 31.05.2014-07.06.2014->PL 06.09.2014-13.09.13->UK 20.12.2014-03.01.2015
Closed the distance >21.03.2015
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The first time he moved it was for school the next time for a job and this time it is for better paying job. We are constantly talking about the future. Ive even found evidence of him searching for an engagment ring. Not saying that is my only reason for staying, but it just a small thing that reasures me that it is not onesided. Which as been a fear of mine for years. But even with the evidence there is still no time restriction. It might be another 10 years of cat and mouse. Which is something that i cant do.Comment
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Ask him about WHEN he wants you two to close the distance? And tell him how bad, this playing cat and mouse makes you feel. Tell him you need something sure.
Plans are made to be changed but they have to be made first.“We're all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness — and call it love — true love.”
― Robert Fulghum, True Love
Met UK 3.08.2012-5.08.12 ->UK 1.12.12-3.12.12->PL 8.02.13-16.02.13->PL 1.06.13-9.06.13->UK 3.08.13-17.08.13->UK 26.10.2013-02.11.2013->PL 30.11.2013-08.12.2013->PL 22.03.2014-29.03.2014->UK 31.05.2014-07.06.2014->PL 06.09.2014-13.09.13->UK 20.12.2014-03.01.2015
Closed the distance >21.03.2015
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Some people don't now what they want in life so they keep looking and chasing after something even though they don't know what this something is. How old is your SO?
If he's still young then ok. He might be still finding himself but unfortunately there are people who will never achieve a level of being happy with their life as it is. Then you need to ask yourself if you are willing to put up with that lifestyle. Ultimately, his own soul/job searching will always have a higher priority than you. I mean, you've been together for 10 (!) years and he is still not willing to make sacrifices to be with you?Comment
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I am so sorry about your situation. It's heartbreaking. If he is not ready to move in with you after 10 years, then how much longer will it take him to be ready? He is asking a lot of you to move overseas with him but to not actually live with him. He's being unrealistic.Comment
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