Have you ever closed the distance temporarily? Like had to move because of a job?

[katiecat08]

Have you ever had to close the distance temporarily because of your SO's job and then moved back to your state a few years/months later? I'm finding out we may have to do that because my SO cant move here to be with me just yet because of his job. So were considering me moving there into an apartment for a few years so we can be able to see each other physically and then when he can move here, we both pack up and move back. Has this ever happened to you? Did your family react to it bad or good?

[Tooki]

Do you NEED to move back to your state? Could you get a job in his state and start a career?

I'm going to cut the distance down to about 80km for around 5-6 months.

[lyonsgirl]

Wait, didn't your SO recently accept an awesome position at a fire department in NM? Or is he there for training? If it is the first part, what if it turns out he actually really loves the crew that's there?

Also, I second Tooki's questions. And... Why couldn't you get a job there? He's, to my knowledge, establishing himself there. I know your family is where you are, but nothing says you can't move away from your family. Airplanes are pretty much the best things ever.

ETA: FH & I were CD (5 months), then LD (3 months), then CD (4 months) in 2011. The 1st round of LD was because of a job. The 2nd CD was because he moved to be with me because I was establishing myself in that area. We're now LD again because of my job.

[katiecat08]

He has plainly said to me again and again that he does not call NM his home. He said his home is with me in NC. He doesn't want to be in NM anymore but until he's dedicated a bit of time to the fire department he can't move here yet. He has to make his resume look good before he gets a job here. So that's why we need to CD for a bit because we don't Want to wait to be with each other

[conejita_hada]

My SO and I met CD, then were LD when I moved home for a month, he was a main motivator to finish my research in his country so we're pretty much CD right now and will be LD at the end of August for about 3 years. I was originally going to stay in his country for a full extra year, at least. My family didn't like the idea necessarily but as long as I can support myself, they're okay with it since I've lived away from home for awhile anyway. I can't make anything about $300/mo. in his country so we decided LD is better for the 3 years in order to save money for our future together.

If you have the option to be CD and the only thing holding you back is your family's disapproval, discuss it with them and give them the reasons you want to go. When I decide to move to another location or make a large financial commitment, I always tell my family (and now my SO). It isn't so much that I want their approval, and I never ask them if it's okay. I tell them this is why I'm doing it (usually a better financial possibility wins them over) because they are significant people in my life who could be affected by my decisions so it's just a curtsey in including them, as well as I value each of their opinions. You can always visit your family, your relationship with them is already established. If you have the chance, go for it. Just make sure to weigh the pros and cons of the decision.

[katiecat08]

Thanks. We really feel this is needed right now so we can get to know each other more in person and on a close level. Marriage is our intent so we're hoping we can have our relationship better if we do this. Scary part is telling my parents.