Homesickness after closing the distance?

[C.M.]

We could be closing the distance next summer and I already miss my mom just thinking about it. I also go to college 600 miles from home so this last year will be spent away from my family. I'm also an only child and my mom doesn't have a partner. Have any of you dealt with this? I feel so guilty and sad at the thought of leaving my mom, everywhere I am there is always someone important missing

[emsimes]

Have you spoken with your mom about this? Is she against you going? Or, perhaps she could come visit you once you CTD?
I'm sure this must be rough for you, but hang in there!

[Schlafmütze]

Hi C.M,
Yes, I recently had to deal with something similar. I don't know if you are the same person that posted in the anonymous section weeks ago. If it was you, I'm sorry for repeating my answer but this was what helped me:

Talk to your mother, open up to her. Let all your worries out, don't keep them inside because they can continue harming your mental stability and at some point, your physical health.

Another thing that helped me was opening up to my boyfriend. He is a good listener and he has a positive impact on myself. We discussed many things and how would we dealt with them in case some day we marry and decide to call Germany our home. Having some money saved for emergency trips is definitely a great idea. We agreed on that and on some other things.

Advice 2: even though I sometimes forget about it, try to not look that much into the future. Enjoy the present. If now you have to chance, spend time with your mom. Let her know you are there for her, that you love her and that she can count on you. Don't worry too much about having to leave. I'm sure she will be happy to see you succeed, happy, living the life you and her imagined for yourself. Believe me, it's hard for her to see you leave, but it's harder and sad to see you stuck, not moving forward, to depend on her. Make her proud of you, not worried or sad!

Other things that helped me when I was experiencing negative feelings, anxiety, worry; while thinking on my move to Germany were:

- writing the things that were causing me anxiety, then asking myself how real/made up they were, how much could I do to help the situation or how out of my hands they were.

- Running and going for walks in a place full of nature. It was like unplugging myself from the world. I was always feeling amazing after a good run -still do-. Keeping yourself occupied/active is important.

- Self hypnosis, playing relaxing melodies before falling asleep -this one works wonders for me-, taking deep breathes when I have issues to fall asleep because my head won't stop thinking!

I think the fact you will be going to college 600 miles away from home is not that bad at all. It can be a test for you and for your mom, a way to prepare yourselves for when you leave next summer, to learn how to deal with the distance and homesickness and to be independent. Good luck and know that you are not alone!!