2nd time closing the distance?

[x0_kris]

My boyfriend lives in Mass & I live in Maine. He had asked me to move in so I dropped everything and did so because I loved him so much. We lived together for maybe three months before he kicked me out. I didn't have a vehicle so it was very hard to find a job. Best I could get was a babysitting job I could ride my bike too.
Now, that I'm back in Maine with a very good job he wants me to move back to him because he claims he made the biggest mistake by letting me move out. He even told me we could get our own apartment.... I honestly don't know what to do... To be honest I don't want to move back because he could do the same thing to me again, I would rather him move here. I just don't know what to do.... I feel like if we don't close this distance soon, it may not last...

[LadyDaemon]

Honestly,if he was so quick to throw you out after three months,then I think you should rethink your relationship in general. In a relationship you're supposed to work together and work through things,even when living together. The fact that he so easily threw you out I think says he's not as invested and possibly doesn't care as much as you do. BUT,if you really want to attempt to close the distance with him again then I would suggest that he move to you this time to be on the safe side.

[Moon]

After the way he treated you, why would you want it to last? I wouldn't go back to someone who kicked me out of the house. Don't go back, if wants to be with you badly enough, he can do the moving this time, and if he won't, well then it is what it is. Don't allow yourself to be manipulated twice.

[sarahjane1992]

I agree with Moon and LadyDaemon. If he kicked you out before, he could do it again. Plus, if you're worried that if you don't close the distance soon things will end, I'd rethink it.
Me and my SO can't close the distance for around a year. But we're making it work because we love each other. Is it hard? Yes. Is it worth it? Definitely!

[snow]

You say you have a good job? Definitely stay where you are.
You dropped everything, sacrificed your life in Maine to live with him and he kicked you out, so as you said, who says he won't do it again.
I think you know the answer to your question yourself. If it doesn't feel right then you should probably not do it and if he really reconsidered his decision and thinks that it would work this time then he has to show it to you - you trusted him and moved to him on a whim, it's only fair he returns the favor.

Listen to your heart, you know what's best for you!

Best of luck!

[Hollandia]

I agree with the others. If he loves you and is that sorry, let him move to your town and prove himself. I would not even let him move in with me till I could trust he would not do something like that again.

[Yaaamiii]

Oh definitely not. As someone above said, I'd rethink the relationship itself if he kicked you out so quickly. Make him move to you. If he doesn't want to, then that should show you how commited he is...

[squeeker]

Yeah I agree with everyone else. It doesn't speak well of him that he kicked you out of the house.. if he really wants to be with you, he can find a way to move to you. Especially since you have a good job and are stable and you do not want to lose everything again in case he feels like kicking you out again. I think he really needs to show you he is committed to you.

[kittyo9]

Your significant other kicked you out after asking you to move in with him? Why would you want to be with this guy? Support yourself and get yourself in a stable position before even thinking about moving in with this guy.

[x0_kris]

Lately, things with him have been different... & no, not a bad different. He's been telling me how much he loves me and how he misses me so much while I'm away. His new thing to say to me is that I'm his soul mate. (Which I think is the cutest thing esp since he never says things like that)
I told him that I won't move to him, because of what happened the last time I did & that if he wants to have us live together then he needs to move to Maine. Depending on whether or not he gets accepted into a university here will determine whether or not he moved here in January or if we will still have to have a LDR :-( hopefully all goes well and he gets accepted because it's getting to the point where I can't even sleep at night because he's not around.

[SJ22]

If he loved you so much in the first place he wouldn't have kicked you out.
You don't hurt the people you love.

[x0_kris]

He's a very stubborn person, that doesn't realize what he has until it's either gone or almost gone.

[snow]

Which is fine. There's many people who are like this, but this is so much more about you than it is about him.
He can be stubborn and not realize how much he really needs you, but you have to make sure you make the right decision for you!
You have a good job here, so would moving there really make sense?

I think if he really wants to live with you he has to apologize for throwing you out, think about his priorities and then you two need to figure out if you CAN live together.
Something caused him to kick you out and you need to see if this could happen again. Maybe it was his temper, maybe it was not being ready. You need to think AND talk about this. It is a really big decision and you do seem like you are not sure. Please think about this situation and all possible outcomes.
What if you moved there - what about your job, could you get a job there, will you be happy living with him, is there a way for you to get back here if he did throw you out again?
What if he moved in - is he going to find a job here, is he willing to do the sacrifice, is he going to change his attitude towards you and what happens if he doesn't want to live with you (again)?

[x0_kris]

I've thought about all these before and it leaves me in the situation of either he moves here or were stuck with a LDR. He's apologized about throwing me out before and told me it's the biggest mistake of his life yet were still apart. I really think he just is not ready for that much of a commitment to be honest.

[lyonsgirl]

I've thought about all these before and it leaves me in the situation of either he moves here or were stuck with a LDR. He's apologized about throwing me out before and told me it's the biggest mistake of his life yet were still apart. I really think he just is not ready for that much of a commitment to be honest.

Honestly? He kicked you out of the apartment. If I were you, I'd kick him out of my life.