Hoping to close distance/ family disapproves

[karishma10]

My lovely man and i are talking about him moving to north carolina where i go to college, but my family does not approve of him. We are Indian and they are very strict, but have opened up in the past for my happiness. For some reason in this situation there is extreme discouragement and they feel like i can do better, but HE is great and the best for me right now. My darling told me to ask my parents to just give him one chance to prove himself, that's all he needs- they don't like the idea and claim it is trouble. Many people around me tell me that it's my life i am in college, my parents don't have a say. I strongly disagree. My family is all i live for and i respect them highly, but this situation worries me more than ever. I am confused and hopelessly in love. I hope there is someone out there to give me some advice and offer some encouragement in this strange time in my life. it would be greatly appreciated!

[jana89]

This is tough. My mum is not exactly fan of my SO as well and it is also something that makes me sad. We of course want our closest people to be on our side and it hurts when they are not. On the other side, it is not disrespectful to stay with someone you love, even though your parents do not appriciate him. As you say, your parents already showed understanding in past, so they can do it again. They probably just need more time to see that you found something special and important for you. Do not try to convince them about being wrong with argues, rather let your love speak. It may take time, but they will get it, just hang in there Best of luck

[CanadianGirl]

Welcome to LFAD!

Being South Asian too, I'm betting our families are pretty similar about this. It took quite a while before my mom came around to accepting my SO. I have friends who are very committed to respecting their parents wishes and understand the sentiment. Personally, I love my mother very much, but there are some problematic beliefs she holds that I really did have to act against. In the long run, she's come to be happy that I'm happy. What is it exactly about him that they disprove of?

[karishma10]

Thank you so much dear!! That made me smile

[karishma10]

Thank you firstly for your reply! Well i mentioned i am 18, he is 22. They do not agree with this age difference and the fact that he is not Indian, but it is the greatest thing because he is learning Gujarati and even Hindi. I cannot ask for anything more he makes me extremely happy. Also his career, he isn't a doctor or engineer, but his passion lies in the restaurant industry. Did you just give her (mum) time?

[CanadianGirl]

I did try to reason with her at the beginning, and I can say that got nowhere and just drove us both insane.. We just ended up arguing a lot. She came around when she realized that I was very committed to being with him and that I was happy.

I'm not sure about your family, but the idea of dating is just terrifying to my mom. She'd love to spend hours e-mailing my star chart around and fixing me up with a nice, Tamil doctor . You should stick with what you want and give it time to sink in.

[karishma10]

LOL Thank you darling! I wish you the best of luck!