When will we finally close the distance?

[jenniferoliv]

deleted thread

[snow_girl]

Someone needs to compromise.

[nottheprincesspeach]

I was put in this situation recently when I agreed to my LDR with my partner understanding that I would have to be the one to move. Granted it is easier when you are just an 8 hour drive away from your family and one time zone, but I get it. Ultimately when talking to my dad about it he says a time comes when you have to decide what your goals are ultimately and what matters then. I love my family, but I also love my SO. I decided that I wanted to be with him even if it meant being away from my family and being with his. So it ultimately comes down to figuring out what you are aiming for and discussing that with him. Soul search to see if you are ready or ever will be ready to make a move like that. And if you aren't you need to talk to him about it and see if he feels the same.

[mllebamako]

Someone needs to compromise.

This. Unfortunately, this is an issue that most of us in LDRs are going to have to face. I know it can be hard to ignore those worried feelings, but I think it's best to try to push the issue out of your head for a bit since it seems like it'll be a decision for a couple of years down the road. If I were you, I'd go study abroad in Spain like you planned and then go from there.

[squeeker]

Hi there! I totally understand how you feel. My boyfriend and I have been together almost 4 years and we are still a good few years off from closing the distance. I will not go into my story as it would take up way too much space in your thread and it probably wouldn't add anything helpful. I will just try and give advice best I can.

One.. as the others said above, one of you will have to compromise, though ideally both of you should be open to compromising and then just look into what is easier.. and making sure you can save enough money to visit the other country as often as possible. And whoever doesn't move should be understanding of the other person moving to them and not take it fore granted, and whoever moves should not feel forced to move. I think it would be good for you both to live in each others' for a bit so you can figure out which one feels better to live together. And figure out where is the best place to live where you will have the most access to the jobs in the careers you both want to work in. Save as much money as you can because not only will international moving be expensive but you want to have as much money saved for your lives together as well as trips back to the other person's home.

I'm really not sure if I will end up moving to the UK for a bit or if my boyfriend will be able to move to Canada before I do that.. he also has strong fears which include flying for 9 hours but he wants to get over that eventually because he does like the idea of living in Canada. Anyways, we both decided to go back to university because we were not making enough money to be able to close the distance and we were not working in positions which we wanted to continue working in. Well actually he was unemployed and I was working in a stressful fast food job. So now we are a few years off from being able to get a job, but hopefully it will work out after we graduate and start making money that we will be able to close the distance soon too.

I wish you good luck with your plans and stay strong, you can do this no matter how long it takes. In the mean time, until you decide who moves where, visit each other to get a taste of each others countries!