What will it take? Am I wrong to ask?

[piratemama]

An hour is nothing. I live an hour and 15 minutes from where I work. Can he move 30 minutes closer to you.....that would make him 30 minutes from work. You two can meet in the middle for dates.....that would only be a 15minute drive for each of u.

This exactly.

[TaraMarie]

This exactly.

What I wouldn't give to be an hour from MY Man!

[XxFranticLovexX]

If he is willing to move to be near you, and doesn't want to make the hour commute to work, is there any way that he could transfer to an office in your town? It's in the same state, and relatively close to where he is now, so his seniority shouldn't take too big of a hit (since he's a corrections officer) and it may actually help him get the transfer.

Though, saying that his seniority at work isn't a big deal compared to your relationship is kind of a low blow. That is actually a very important thing, especially in certain fields and it could actually be rather offensive to him to hear that if he really likes his career field. I'm also sorry, and I know that you prioritize your relationship but 3+ years of seniority in a career field > A 5 month relationship. The career can be a way to keep him afloat for life, a relationship can (sadly) fall through over night.

[melarie]

An hour is nothing. I live an hour and 15 minutes from where I work. Can he move 30 minutes closer to you.....that would make him 30 minutes from work. You two can meet in the middle for dates.....that would only be a 15minute drive for each of u.

I was thinking this too. Of course it depends on where his job is in relation to both your cities. If he already has a long commute in the opposite direction of your town, this wouldn't be as good a solution. So other than that... I think it would be a bit much to ask him to move now and then move again once you get married, since you're already practically engaged. Moving is hard and really not fun. I would hate to do if twice over the course of a couple years.

Everyone else pretty much covered anything else I could have said I guess..

[piratemama]

What I wouldn't give to be an hour from MY Man!

Me, too. Wow, we'd be burning that road!

[Unconditional]

Not trying to bash the original poster or anything, but, you live ONLY and hour-something away from him?!
You see him about a couple hours every week?!
Most of us live thousands of miles away and can barely see our SO's once a year.
Just be grateful for what you have type of thing is needed here I feel.
I think it sounds a little selfish to ask him to leave his job to come live with you, but that's my personal opinion. To me it's kind of like asking him to make a decision between you and his livelihood. I also don't know the full extent of the situation. As a corrections officer, I'm sure he could find a job closer to you if that's what this comes to.
Wishing you well on whatever happens~*

[lyonsgirl]

Can we get back to the point? Yes, some of us live farther from our SOs than others do, but distance is still distance. An hour may be nothing to some posters, but for other posters, an hour may as well be across the continent.

To the OP: I haven't read the thread, but have you considered moving towards him? Or maybe you each move a small distance closer to the middle and then he could still keep his job. Or, can you support him entirely on your own? Don't feel as though you have to answer me, just questions you might want to think about.

[Charli452]

Thank you for sticking up for me. If I'd have said anything, I feel it would have started an argument, lol.

I did talk with him after I posted. Something I think I left out in the other posts is that I cannot afford to move closer to him. He wants to move in together, but I don't want to live together before marriage (readers, respect my choice as I have respected yours). I also didn't fully understand his seniority. He's been with the State for a little longer than 3 yrs and he's bought time/seniority somehow (I don't really fully understand it still) But he's more invested there than I thought. Which is fine. From the way he talked about moving closer to me and not being passionate about his job, it didn't make sense for him to not be looking elsewhere for employment closer to me.

After we talked he did seriously look for a position at the only facility in Peoria. (It's really small) He found out that it would be a pay cut to take an equivalent position there :/ I wouldn't ask that. He also said there's another option that he likes, it's just less likely. I guess being a counselor in a facility is a prommotion (something he's been thinking about anyway) Except. At a smaller facility, there are less positions and more competition for that type of job already. So, I get it.

We're talking more about maybe him moving closer, but not too far from his work. I know other posters have mentioned a halfway point. There is a kindof half way town. We'll see what we can work out. If he was okay with driving more it wouldn't be a problem but he really dislikes driving period. (And my car's on the fritz).

Another factor: Being social is way more important for me than it is for him. I'm extroverted he's introverted. I feel interwoven with my friends in the area. They are a huge part of my life. I don't have that in Lincoln. (Not that friends couldn't be made, it's just that the ones I have are important to me)

Anyway, thank you again. I needed a little encouragement. You've been a great help.

[Unconditional]

It sounds like you are both determined to make this happen, which is great!
Life has a funny way of making things happen.. Who knows, he could end up getting that position he wants at the facility.
Keep us all updated, I'd love to one day see a post saying you've both closed the distance. =)

Wishing you both the very best in whatever the future brings~*

[differentcountries]

Another factor: Being social is way more important for me than it is for him. I'm extroverted he's introverted. I feel interwoven with my friends in the area.

Just a little notice on the introvert/extrovert thing. Generally, it is HARDER for introvert people to move and make new friends, and they are more close-knitten to the friends that they do have, because they are fewer and closer than what is usually the case for extrovert people. The reason why introverts may choose to be alone more than extroverts, is because every social interaction is so meaningful to them that they need time to process. Extroverts tend to have fun with many people, easily. So in a way, being social, and more over being social with long term friends, is more important to introverts than compared to extroverts.

[AussieAmericanGirl66]

Me, too. Wow, we'd be burning that road!

No doubt we would, too.

[Charli452]

Thank you everyone for your support, well wishes, and comments. Talking on here helped me find the words to initiate conversation about something that was bothering me. I'm glad my boyfriend and I can talk and discuss our options. Your help has been wonderful.

I will try to get back on when we work things out completely and/or keep you updated in the meantime.

Thanks again,

-Charli