I am ready and He is scared...

[haylfire]

So we have been together for almost 8 months and have been talking online for over a year. I am ready to close the distance and move in with him. I would move to where he lives and id even pay for the apartment first month and security. But he is Scared... he says he wants to be with me and wants to live with me but isn't ready and is scared. I am currently living in a house that is being forclosed on or sold in the near future so I will be moving with or without him. If i move without him that means my job will get in the way what little time we have together now and Our opportunity to live together will be no more until my lease is up in a year or two. I am going mad missing him and being alone... I dont think i could go another year or two!! Any advice????

To add on:
When I get a place and job and all that.. He is still not willing to move to me. All he would need to do is get a new job and move his stuff into my house. Seems like the smart idea right? To him though it seems smarter for us to have to save up to get a new place in an area with super high rent and for both of us to move our stuff, me to to have to get a new job, me to have to find a new day care, me to give up everything i just worked so hard for.

[squeeker]

Could you move to somewhere in his city close to him? I don't think it's wise to rush things if both of you aren't ready because living together can be a big step.. and you two have been together less than a year, though I don't know how long you have known each other, but still, in this situation, as an outsider.. as much as it would save you rent to live together plus YOU are ready.. you want to make it a positive thing for both of you. You could try and talk more to him and tell him why you want to. But if you are moving either way, maybe as another option, look for an apartment closer to him.. that's another option.. cause if you rush him when he's not ready, it might be disaster for your relationship. Try to be understanding of his feelings, but it's okay to share why you would love to live with him and can't wait til you can live together one day. You could even ask him why he's scared, if there's a specific reason he can think of, maybe he feels it is too soon in the relationship yet.

[Zapookie]

8 months together is not enough time. I think you need to wait until at least a year, then he might be more comfortable with the idea of moving in together.

[Lilly9886]

Didn't you write in another post that you are a single mum? Maybe he is just not ready to move in with a kid yet, or be a father figure? How old is your SO? How old is your kid?

8 months together might be ok for some people, but I think it makes it more difficult when children are involved.

Also, is the father of the kid living close to you now? Would he mind if you took his kid away from him? There is so much to consider here, I think you shouldn't rush into anything.

[haylfire]

He has no problem with my child that is the least of his concerns.
Also his blood father isn't in the picture.

[haylfire]

I am starting to think about just moving closer to him but Without a job there and nj rent higher that just seems like a bad idea considering i have a kid..

[SaraHonRara]

I understand moving somewhere without a job seems like a bad idea with a kid. But what was your plan for income, if you lived together with your SO? Can´t you move to his city, and find a place for your own and do the same thing you were planing to if you lived together?

[haylfire]

is there a way to delete a thread?? it doesnt matter anymore because I have to move right now and no more discussing it.

[differentcountries]

It is not allowed to delete threads. Threads are supposed to be open and something for people to learn from, it is not just for the benifit of the person making the thread. If you want you can contact Michelle, she sometimes deletes threads if people ask her, but she has told several who asked her no because there is no community is people just withdraw their threads after they get answers.

[haylfire]

oh ok im fine with that.. Well to update everyone I just got the news I have to be out of this house so there is no more discussing the issue.. :/ will just have to wait to see what the future will hold