Originally posted by Alma
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Closing the distance...costs
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I thought of you and the years and all the sadness fell away from me - Pink Floyd
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One-way tickets are a mystery, I can tell you that. Here even more so than usual, the time you book and the location you book from matter. When I looked up one-way tickets for my SO for when he moves here, I found out that a ticket from Salt Lake City to Hamburg would have been 2000 euro (!!!) if I book it from Germany, but just 400 euro when I book it from the US. I even went to a travel agency in my area to ask about this and they were no wiser than me (and also only had access to the expensive German deals). I found out there are deals that were only bookable with a US credit card, to boot. I have no idea how this is possible, but I'm assuming there are deals that are artificially being limited to certain customers (like, in this case, people with US credit cards, so basically US citizens only).
Keep your eye out and try several search engines, and definitely set the search engines to different locations. Also, make sure to set your browser to icognito/private mode, or delete your cache, cookies and browsing history beforehand.
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It would be good to buy an open return ticket.
I would also get a travel insurance. If you have no way to get covered by US health insurance in the beginning, you probably want to go for a long term travel insurance.
Money to fix the million little things/paperwork apart from visa.
Also, while it seems nice that he does not charge you for living costs in the beginning, if you eventually get a job it would be fair if you chipped in to cover parts of his cost.I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
- Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"
"Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits
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Cost of living in USA is all about what part of USA, as are flight ticket costs. Pick a hub and it is cheaper. Live outside of a major city and commute and it is cheaper. Does he have a job making enough for you to get your VISA to USA? I have been broke at some points in my life in USA and I found places to live at not far from the higher areas that were still doable. He really needs to do his research. Some places might work with him about his deposit and if he has credit he might be able to get a loan for 5-10 grand from a bank.
I maxed out my cards and spent close to enough to put down a down payment on a huge house in USA or buy 2 cars, but it was worth it. I have the ability to pay it off with the sale of my house next year, but tbh, after 3 years of this, I would have done it even if it would have taken 10 years to pay back. The closing of our distance will cost about this.
Residence card for UK for non Eu family member of Eu citizen exercising their right to movement for workers.....55 pounds/ 91 USD
Rent for first place upfront .............600 pounds/996 USD
Deposit for place.............................600 pounds/996 USD
Double rent for place in NL for 2 months........520 Euro/689 USD
Airfare to Belfast........................................... ..........200 USD
Airfare to Gibraltar for 2..............................................400 USD
Hotel for one night in Gibraltar(req)...............................200 USD
Marriage fees for Gibraltar......................................... ..107 Euro/142 USD
2 Ferries from NL to Belfast........................................... ...130 Euros/172 USD
Gas to drive to from NL to Belfast........................................150 Euro/199 USD
Now understand this does not take into account some extra fees we had like cats getting Rabies shots, micro chips and passports that cost 200 Euros/265 USD and their new collars and new acceptable Pet carrier, total of about 100 Euros/132 USD and also the fact that we are selling some stuff toi help pay for some of this. We both sold our cars from our previous countries and now selling several other things to help with the costs. We have also been pre-paying much of this over last few months.
Cost for shipping our stuff to new coutry.......................................600 Euro/795 USD......................paid by his parents
Cost for storage for our stuff for 2 months.......................................200 Euros/265 USD....................paid by his parents
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Alma, aren't you getting way, way ahead of yourself here? I mean, all this, and you haven't even met yet. What if you can't stand each other IRL? That can happen. I certainly hope you aren't considering your first meeting to be the day you close the distance, that's a pretty bad idea. I don't mean to sound discouraging, but it needs to be said. How long have you even been together?Our separation of each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. ~Albert Einstein
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I have to agree with Moon. I think it's fine to dream about the future, and even have a rough plan in your mind of how you hope it will work out. But as we all know, life never adheres to our plans. Take things slowly and enjoy what you have now. Don't focus all of your energies into planning closing the distance until you've been together a bit longer and met a few times.In all the world there is no heart for me like yours.
In all the world there is no love for you like mine.
-- Maya Angelou
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I know both of you are right. But I am that kind of person who freaks out when I don't know how my future will be like...
It's mostly because I am really struggeling with money right now and I am really concerned about my future. I really try to slow down and enjoy my relationship, but this money thing drives me nuts and I am really afraid...
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Originally posted by Alma View PostI know both of you are right. But I am that kind of person who freaks out when I don't know how my future will be like...
It's mostly because I am really struggeling with money right now and I am really concerned about my future. I really try to slow down and enjoy my relationship, but this money thing drives me nuts and I am really afraid...Our separation of each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. ~Albert Einstein
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Well, I was born poor and then my Bio dad walked out on mom with 3 kids get really poor, mom met my adopted dad, got pretty comfortable, we moved to an area above their means and got poor again, moved out on my own, got even poorer. Married my ex and struggled for years but built our way up to quite comfortable only to lose most of it a few years ago and start back at that almost poor stage. 20 is many years away from me.
My point is, you can't let your finances dictate your life. Don't assume because you are building up you will always have that. Live each day for today and be happy each day. If I worried about money as much as you do, I would have slit my wrists a few months ago.
Shit in life just happens and money is not the worst of it, so deal with it but don't let it rule you.
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Originally posted by Alma View Postbelieve me or not...I am crying. All of you are right. The way I am thinking kind of sucks and I HAVE to change it. It was never easy for me to let go and just relax.
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Originally posted by Alma View PostI know both of you are right. But I am that kind of person who freaks out when I don't know how my future will be like...
It's mostly because I am really struggeling with money right now and I am really concerned about my future. I really try to slow down and enjoy my relationship, but this money thing drives me nuts and I am really afraid...I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
- Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"
"Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits
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