am i being stupid????

[always2far]

I am moving to my bfs place next month. I kind of want a fresh start and distance from my past. He wants me to move in with him. But i want a place of my own. I want to restart my life...a new job and everything...and to start anew i think i should have a place and get to build a life. I kind of want my independence...
Is this okay?? Or am i acting crazy??? He thinks i am.

[whatruckus]

It's your choice and your life. If you feel you're not ready to move in with him just yet and would rather live on your own for a bit, that's fine. Some people are like that, but he should respect you and not tell you you're crazy.

[differentcountries]

you are young. it is a good idea to start on your own. later on you can consider moving to him.

[randomnerd]

You have to do what's best for you. You are still young. Live alone, take your time and enjoy your independence. If you guys are meant to be, this period of time in your life being alone will be beneficial to you both. You have the rest of your life to live with someone if you choose to.

Don't live with someone to save their feelings. It will backfire in the long run. Who knows, maybe after living alone for a while, you'll decide to move in with him, but then it will be a choice you made on your own

[always2far]

Thank you so much...that was very comforting to hear i am not being stupid here after all

[merlinkitty]

I can understand wanting your independence. You've obviously thought about this and decided this is what you want. Do it. He needs to respect that. If you guys end up together you have the rest of your lives to live together. What is a few years living separately going to matter in the long run?

[Petals]

As the others posters have said, it is your choice to live alone if you so desire and you should not be pressured to do otherwise since you are not ready. If you value your relationship however, you need to sit with your boyfriend and have a deeper discussion about your motives for wanting to live alone and your plans/hopes for the relationship. You might want to give him a timeline as to when you might consider moving in with him - 1, 2, 3 years? After engagement?

I think what he needs is reassurance that you are as serious about the relationship as he is and your decision not to move in with him right now has no bearing on how you feel about him. Think about it - if you wanted your bf to move in with you and he told you he isn't ready yet, what would you be inclined to think about his motives regarding the relationship?

He just needs reassurance

[Moon]

Nope, not stupid at all. I think getting some time living alone can benefit everybody, it's good to learn how to deal with things by yourself, it's a great life lesson. I also think that, for some people, closing the distance can be a difficult thing. Before, your relationship was a vacation, now you're in each others faces and places ALL OF THE TIME. If you aren't used to that, and you have some introverted qualities, starting out with a place to escape to while adjusting could be a fantastic thing to have, I know I'd want that for a little while. Get used to being CD, then move in together. I'm sure others will disagree, but that's how I'd do it.

[sweetshay]

ABSOLUTELY NOT. This is exactly what ended a previous relationship of mine. -the fact that I wanted to be alone and he wanted to move in. I'm not a roommate person as it is xD but I valued my independence and space, cleaning up my OWN messes and worrying about my own germs, making food for just myself.. it's okay to be selfish sometimes :P. But like the others had said, enjoy your freedom. You don't have to live far away from you SO if it makes him happy but your 20s are crucial life decision years. You don't want to look back and think.. "man I really wish I had just lived alone." Better to do it change it later than to never have did something you wanted.

[always2far]

Thnx everybody i have found a place nearby his and we have decide to give it a year and see what happens

[Miasmata]

Best of luck to you two for this new step!