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    #1

    Really need help or advice for moving in

    I'll try and make this short!

    My gf and I have been in a LDR for 2 years and have met in person 7 times. We are both 18 and will be going to the same technical college this year which means we will BOTH need an apartment. We have many serious health conditions in common and have gone through almost everything together. Since we'll be in a new area by ourselves, we think getting an apartment together would be the best idea, financially and for health reasons (even though we're "younger")

    Our parents are VERY unsupportive of this but ik we are more mature and responsible than most people our age. We even have a savings put together for this.

    So...Is our plan to move in together a bad idea? It'd be easier than searcing for random roomates since we already know our health conditions and have money saved. I'd love real honest opinions please. Thanks!
    Tags: closing distance, moving in
    #2
    Well I can definitely say I have heard way worse ideas!
    I don't think it's a bad idea at all, I just wanna say maybe make sure you guys have a backup plan in case living together goes sour. (It's good to either way)
    Since you'd be in the same college, going back home wouldn't quite work, so you'd have to get a separate apartment or something.
    I dunno, I say go for it with a backup plan
    Met: Apr 2013
    Mutual interest: July 2013
    Relationship Began: November 6 2013
    First Visit (Her to Me): July 4 2014
    Second Visit (Me to Her): Jan/Feb 2015 Postponed due to sister having baby
    Second Visit! (Her to Me again): June 16 2015 - July 4 2015
    Engaged: June 29 2015 <3
    Third Visit: (Her to me, working on it) January 19 2016 - February 2 2016

    Comment

      #3
      Yeah, if you want to give it a shot, do it, but make sure you communicate plenty (especially about household duties and chores!) and have a backup plan.

      ~
      It'll take a lot more than words and guns
      A whole lot more than riches and muscle
      The hands of the many must join as one
      And together we'll cross the river

      Comment

        #4
        I think it is a good idea personally, you have been together for 2 years, you have met 7 times so have a vague idea about habits in real life etc.

        just be careful to take things slowly when you first move in, it will take some time getting used to having the other person around all the time.

        If things end up not working out, then making sure than one of you can afford the rent on their own would be sensible I would have thought, and/or try to get a shorter term contract with the option to extend - if those are available where you are going.

        Comment

          #5
          Just a quick question - I know it's a technical college but do they have dorms on campus? The only reason I ask is if you are needing financial aid for school, generally apartments off campus aren't covered. This means you'll both also have to work plus school in order to cover rent, utilities, groceries, etc. If they have dorms, it can be a better option and lots of places have co-ed dorms.

          (Sorry, I work in the student loan industry and these tend to be my first thoughts.)
          To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.

          ​Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.

          Comment

            #6
            If you can do it, then why not?
            If you hadn't met before it would be a totally different story. But I second what miasmata said about having a back up plan. It can't hurt.

            "True love isn't about being inseparable; it’s about two people being true to each other even when they are separated."
            Married April 18th, 2015!!
            Distance Closed October 4th, 2015!!

            Comment

              #7
              I am all for people moving in with each other! Go ahead and do it. But please have a backup plan.

              Comment

                #8
                I would just like to stress the importance of getting out there and meeting new people! It is extremely easy to let your SO become your life if you're living together, so make sure that you both make a true effort to get on campus and make friends of your own. This is not only important for the health of your relationship and your own mental health, but also if the relationship or living together were to go sour and you find yourself in a city where you didn't bother to make any lasting friendships because of your SO. Good luck!

                Comment

                  #9
                  Just a quick question - I know it's a technical college but do they have dorms on campus? The only reason I ask is if you are needing financial aid for school, generally apartments off campus aren't covered. This means you'll both also have to work plus school in order to cover rent, utilities, groceries, etc. If they have dorms, it can be a better option and lots of places have co-ed dorms.

                  (Sorry, I work in the student loan industry and these tend to be my first thoughts.)


                  They don't have student dorms unfortunately so I would need an apartment either way. I run my own business and should have a very good income during college since I have to cover everything as you said. That definitely is my only concern but I am saving now and have calculated how much it will cost me per month...so I believe it will be ok! You can never be too careful though so I appreciate your input and concern!
                  Last edited by ldr41313; February 24, 2015, 11:01 AM.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    I would just like to stress the importance of getting out there and meeting new people! It is extremely easy to let your SO become your life if you're living together, so make sure that you both make a true effort to get on campus and make friends of your own. This is not only important for the health of your relationship and your own mental health, but also if the relationship or living together were to go sour and you find yourself in a city where you didn't bother to make any lasting friendships because of your SO. Good luck!


                    That's definitely a concern of mine as well and I've expressed to her that we should make sure we have our own lives and friends. She seemed understanding of it! I think it's just about balancing everything to make it work.
                    Last edited by ldr41313; February 24, 2015, 11:01 AM.

                    Comment

                      #11
                      I think it is a good idea personally, you have been together for 2 years, you have met 7 times so have a vague idea about habits in real life etc.

                      just be careful to take things slowly when you first move in, it will take some time getting used to having the other person around all the time.

                      If things end up not working out, then making sure than one of you can afford the rent on their own would be sensible I would have thought, and/or try to get a shorter term contract with the option to extend - if those are available where you are going.


                      That's very helpful and gives me a lot more to consider. Thank you!

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Just another thought:
                        If you can't find an apartment that is big enough for two but theoretically affordable for one, then make it one where you could live with a roommate. As in no walk through bed/living room.

                        ♥ Być tam, zawsze tam, gdzie Ty. ♥

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