How To Tell My Parents I'm Moving?

[gypsysoul]

Hello! I'm new to this forum and am so excited to be able to connect with people who understand my situation; so many people don't understand LDR's. I am making the move from Oregon to Oklahoma this summer to be with my boyfriend and know that my parents are going to panic. They know about Matt, but don't understand why I would want to be in a relationship with someone so far away. When I tried to explain that I don't control who I fall in love with, they gave up and the conversation died out. I know they will be concerned because I am young and I know I also sound very immature when I say that people are never too young to find their soul mate, but I love him and want to be with him more than anything. I am currently working towards a degree in accounting at my community college and moving in with Matt would allow me to attend a university with a great accounting program, which is something I believe I should bring up to my parents when I tell them of my plans to move. Do any of you have tips or advice based on when you told your family or the things you plan on telling them when you do?

[Unconditional]

Do you have the financial means to provide for the university? I would be straightforward about everything that usually helps in the long run.

[Miasmata]

Bringing it up definitely sounds like a great idea, but please focus on your career first. You are still a minor, and your parents can still very much decide where you live and what you do. And if you make it all about the relationship, it's just not going to work out. As sweet as your SO might be, love alone can't sustain you, and your parents will want a stable future for you first and foremost. Look into what the university where your SO lives offers, but don't commit to any plans yet. A change this important has to be planned carefully - Who's going to pay for your living costs, for example? You? Your SO? How old is he? Does he have a job? Have you visited each other before and know whether you click in person too? All of those are important questions you should ask yourself before you jump on this kind of plan.

[gypsysoul]

I've been getting a lot of scholarships; not enough to pay for everything, but enough to make it work and I have to transfer to a 4-year school soon anyway to finish my degree.

[Unconditional]

Bringing it up definitely sounds like a great idea, but please focus on your career first. You are still a minor, and your parents can still very much decide where you live and what you do. And if you make it all about the relationship, it's just not going to work out. As sweet as your SO might be, love alone can't sustain you, and your parents will want a stable future for you first and foremost. Look into what the university where your SO lives offers, but don't commit to any plans yet. A change this important has to be planned carefully - Who's going to pay for your living costs, for example? You? Your SO? How old is he? Does he have a job? Have you visited each other before and know whether you click in person too? All of those are important questions you should ask yourself before you jump on this kind of plan.

Miasmata always hits all the good points.

[gypsysoul]

I have been looking into the university extensively and talking with admissions counselors to make sure all of my credits will transfer smoothly. As eager as I am to be with him, I have been weighing all of my options. I was worried about money and he has ensured me that his paycheck will be enough to support both of us until I get a job and that I also have the option to go to school full time. He is very close with his boss who is opening a restaurant soon and I've been offered a position as hostess.

[merlinkitty]

I've been getting a lot of scholarships; not enough to pay for everything, but enough to make it work and I have to transfer to a 4-year school soon anyway to finish my degree.

These are the things you need to concern yourself with before you commit to a move. Immediately trying to close the distance without ensuring your business ends are secure are going to lead to disaster. You're right. It does sound immature, not that you're in love, but that you're willing to jeopardize a sound future for a guy.

Before you commit to anything, sort your business out. I agree with your parents right now because, while you have a desire (school and a guy, although guy should be mentioned first because you're prioritizing him over your future), you don't have the details solidly laid out. Please put some more thought and effort into figuring your plan for yourself out before you move across the country and lose your support system

[merlinkitty]

I have been looking into the university extensively and talking with admissions counselors to make sure all of my credits will transfer smoothly. As eager as I am to be with him, I have been weighing all of my options. I was worried about money and he has ensured me that his paycheck will be enough to support both of us until I get a job and that I also have the option to go to school full time. He is very close with his boss who is opening a restaurant soon and I've been offered a position as hostess.

Pleeeeeeeeeeeease don't rely on him. You need a backup plan. He can be your backup plan, but you need a primary one that doesn't involve him.

[Unconditional]

Pleeeeeeeeeeeease don't rely on him. You need a backup plan. He can be your backup plan, but you need a primary one that doesn't involve him.

Exactly. With each day there are more and more unknowns like what if he loses said job?

[Unconditional]

Also, how are you getting to places? You'll have to get a new state license. Unless the plan is to have him drive you?

[gypsysoul]

These are the things you need to concern yourself with before you commit to a move. Immediately trying to close the distance without ensuring your business ends are secure are going to lead to disaster. You're right. It does sound immature, not that you're in love, but that you're willing to jeopardize a sound future for a guy.

I am considering my future by applying to the university. I will have to transfer to a 4-year school soon in order to get my bachelor's degree, as I'm already into my sophomore year of college. I am continuing to earn scholarships and look at schools. This university has a great accounting program, so moving would allow me to be with my boyfriend and get my dream job.

[gypsysoul]

Also, how are you getting to places? You'll have to get a new state license. Unless the plan is to have him drive you?

He worries about me driving the distance by myself, so the plan is that he will come to me, meet my friends and family, and we will drive to Oklahoma together.

[Unconditional]

He worries about me driving the distance by myself, so the plan is that he will come to me, meet my friends and family, and we will drive to Oklahoma together.

No you missed my point. I am talking once you get there you now live in Oklahoma. How are you getting to school and the store and everyday things? Will you ask to be driven? Do you have the money to apply for an Oklahoma state driving license? What about a car?
You have met before right? He hasn't met your friends or family yet?

[gypsysoul]

Oh, I'm sorry. Yes, I would be getting a new license. He is leaving his car in Oklahoma, driving here in a rental, then we are driving my car back, so that we will each have a way to get to work, school, etc. We met at the start of our relationship, he met some of my friends, but hasn't yet met my family.

[Unconditional]

I can understand your family's concerns then. They have yet to meet this guy you plan to move a couple thousands of miles for.