We are talking about closing the distance...

[sedona14]

My boyfriend is in VA and I am in AZ. We met in March of 2014 n Sedona, AZ and had our first date in Richmond, VA in May2014. We have been steady at our relationship every day since. We see each other every 2 months, majority of the time he comes to me since I have kids and dogs. Recently we have discussed him moving here but there is a lull of excitement in this from him because his family all lives in VA. I am really wanting him to be here with me in order to give this an honest go. We talk alot about our future together, he has asked if I would change my last name from my kids, etc. We are both committed. I just wish I heard from him more a defined date range, what he's doing to make this happen this year, etc. He has mentioned wanting to come out here for a few months in the fall of this year. This would mean quitting his job and moving this way to check things out and make sure this is what we want. How do I stay patient? I don't want this to be me pushing him in the direction one way or another but I also feel like I am a bit out of control because he is the one moving. Has anyone experienced this or have suggestions? I am heading to see him in April to meet his family for the first time - exciting!!
Thanks so much in advance.

[differentcountries]

You have only dated a year, you have kids, you haven't yet met his family... It is still early. Don't push things, put him talking about namechanges aside. Focus on making his family like you (or at least make him see you put in the effort).

[TaraMarie]

My boyfriend is in VA and I am in AZ. We met in March of 2014 n Sedona, AZ and had our first date in Richmond, VA in May2014. We have been steady at our relationship every day since. We see each other every 2 months, majority of the time he comes to me since I have kids and dogs. Recently we have discussed him moving here but there is a lull of excitement in this from him because his family all lives in VA. I am really wanting him to be here with me in order to give this an honest go. We talk alot about our future together, he has asked if I would change my last name from my kids, etc. We are both committed. I just wish I heard from him more a defined date range, what he's doing to make this happen this year, etc. He has mentioned wanting to come out here for a few months in the fall of this year. This would mean quitting his job and moving this way to check things out and make sure this is what we want. How do I stay patient? I don't want this to be me pushing him in the direction one way or another but I also feel like I am a bit out of control because he is the one moving. Has anyone experienced this or have suggestions? I am heading to see him in April to meet his family for the first time - exciting!!
Thanks so much in advance.

I know exactly how you feel. My SO Is moving here this week. Even though he still works in NY (for now), with his house rented he can afford to fly home to me every Friday, then back to NY to work And stay at his moms house M-th. it's a HUGE adjustment, and has been almost two years in the making. For yes, it's the job issue. He works for an amazing company and there us no way he is giving it up. But, his heart is here with me and the kids. So, he packs up next Friday, gets me at the airport, and the contents of his house, his dogs, and all his worldly possessions head to GA Saturday morning. All of his family is in NY, but he's made friends here. Although he is sad to leave his house, he's happy to be coming home!

I will say that your SO needs to come to his own decision, in his own time, as mine did. In our case, this was actually HIS decision, since he hasn't been able to get a transfer yet. So for us, this works for now.

Good luck to you.

[R&R]

You can give it an "honest go" without being in the same location. Honestly, I think being in an LDR gives you much more of a chance of that because it requires so much communication and so little physical contact. It makes you know that it's really the individual person you want to be with and you aren't just caught up in all the physical that a lot of relationships start out based on.

Closing the distance is a huge deal and even more so if you are close to family. I did it once before (NH to CA) and 14 months later I was back in NH and divorced about a year after that. It was just too much for me. I will tell anyone a million times over that he is one of the most wonderful, loving, caring and sweetest men alive. However, we rushed it and it didn't work out. Take your time.

Right now, I could find a job in Indy no problem and close the distance almost right away. My SO and I have been together 16 months but right now is not the time for it. He will be in Indy at least through the end of this year or early spring of next year. He'll then relocate here or we'll go together to Texas, which is where he grew up. Is it hard knowing I could pretty much just go? Yes. But it makes no sense to leave a good job, move there for maybe a year and then go on the job hunt again - especially if we move back here. Patience and timing are everything.

[Ella85]

Concentrate on meeting his family first. Worry about the rest later (although easier said than done). I met my boyfriends Mom, Dad, grandparents and uncle last time I was there and I now speak to his Mom from time to time on fb. It was really important to me that his family like me especially his little girl (who i adore). I wouldn't stress over everything, it'll come. Give it time and enjoy the time you spend together.