So Exciting That It's Scary - Closing the Distance is Making me a Hypochondriac

[futurecm21]

Hello All,

I had to find a place to say this to people who I hope might relate on some level.

In less than one month I'll graduate from college and I plan on moving out of my current state to move in with my (mostly long distance) partner of five years.

I'm beyond excited. This is everything that I've worked for and when I think about being in the part of the states that I love, with the person I love more than anything, I couldn't be more excited.

But that same excitement leads me to question, what if something went wrong between now and then, and in some cruel twist of fate and irony the universe decided to smite me with a severe cancer, the hantavirus, or even ebola, and I never get to do the one thing that I want more than any other.

Of course those are all completely absurd, and I know this. But that's the thing about health anxiety. No matter how illogical, it sucks away not only your ability to focus on anything else, but also your sense of logic and self respect.

Anyway, has anyone else here dealt with any major anxiety, or fear of something unknown getting in the way between you and your SO? How do you deal with that? Any thoughts are greatly appreciated. It's so nice to find that a community of like minded people exists out there. There are times when I think I'm the only one who understands long distance relationships, this forum has been an nice reminder that I'm not alone.

Thanks all!

BTW, this is my first post

[Petals]

Welcome!

Closing the distance is a major event, so a mix of excitement and anxiety is normal. We've only closed the distance since February and sometimes it still feels like a dream and we do look at each other and go "pinch me!"

Focus on the positives, and be prepared that the adjustment period will have some hiccups. It's how you both deal with the hiccups that will determine the strength of your relationship. Communicate with each other about expectations and have some kind of routine/system for bills, chores, dates etc. Before we closed the distance we worked out how our finances will be dealt with etc.

All the best

[differentcountries]

After we somewhat closed the distance (renting together and me coming there a lot), I started to have these absurd fantasies that a buss would kill SO. So that basically I would just be left on my own there and we would not get much happiness together. After a while the daytime nightmares just went away.

[futurecm21]

It's great to know that I'm not alone. Thank you all! I appreciate your support.

[Redheart14]

Just focus on the bigger picture, moving to be with your SO. What if's and maybes will only make things more stressful. I agree with Petals, set up routines and so on and well as constant communication. When you feel worried look at it from this perspective; there are still people here who haven't even met their SO's yet and aren't even close to closing the distance as they live countries apart. Maybe focusing on this positive will help outweigh the negative way you are currently feeling. Try put all that negative energy of worrying into a positive aspect such as planning the living arrangements or looking for places to live and so on. It will be hard at first, but I'm sure with persistence you'll get better at it. Try to just relax and enjoy the ride and let that sink in. Keep positive and communicate and you'll be ok.

[differentcountries]

What you are experiencing is called catastrophe prone thinking. What you need to do is embrace the negative possabilities, yes, they could happen. Bad things sometimes happens to good people. Mostly people deal! It is sometimes good to do things to protect oneself more, like buy travel insurance. Apart from that, just live. Everyone is afraid of common cancer. But are you afraid to shit in your pants? Right before I met SO I had servere gut problems that made me loose weight rapidly, I was hospitalized several times because I could not hold my food and water, and I lost my job. I had it really bad, cursing God level bad. But I worked my way through it, I am still alive, healthy, working. Don't be afraid for the bad times because if they happen, you will find the strenght and creativity to deal.