Things to think About?

[Kapwned]

I think it's also important to have a very independent mind that is ready to embrace change. If you don't like change you will likely struggle with adjusting to a new hometown. We all love our friends and family, but this is your life and your future. We shouldn't tie ourselves down to our roots if we want a lot out of life. We should also remind ourselves that things don't always stay the same in our own hometowns as well, and even with our friends and family. This might be a struggle for someone who's in their late teens or early to mid 20s who hasn't yet experienced such changes. So if you're the type who ends up yearning for your old life, it might help to remember that life goes on back home as well and if you go back things may not be the same there either.

My friend struggled with this when she closed the distance with her boyfriend. She was always depressed that she was away from everything she loves - her friends, her family, and her hometown. But things back home changed as well. Many of her friends moved away, or were growing apart from her, even her parents ended up separating. So trips back home weren't quite what she wanted them to be. Time didn't stop while she was gone. Even our hometown changed drastically. A lot of places we loved had closed down and were replaced with new businesses. One of the malls we'd go to closed down, and even the bus routes changed which we learned the hard way together.

[Ella85]

Some of the things my boyfriend and I have discussed and some of these may have been mentioned.

Who goes where: I would go there for various reasons, his family are closer, he has a better job than I do, he has more to give up and also cost of visas would be cheaper as only have to get for one instead of 2 (my daughter has US citizenship).

Discipline: We discipline our kids differently. I'm open to his way of doing things, so this works.

Finances: He pretty much told me I should budget everything, I'm good with that so I'm not bothered. Finances for closing the distance are not an issue as I have savings. My visa I'll pay for it. I save everything and I am incredibly frugal about my living expenses which is how I fund trips and have savings in the first place.

How we are going to close the distance: We haven't fully discussed it yet. We are going to do that in the summer.

[randomnerd]

Who moves?
How are job prospects for you or your SO wherever you'll be living?
Will you live together immediately or near each other?
What are your intentions? Are you both on the same page for the future?

For us - I moved because his family was close by. I started applying for jobs before I moved. I started saving up. We drove all of the way, so I saved for the moving truck plus gas and for about 2 months worth of any bills I would need to cover in case I didn't get a job right away. I planned how to get my cat to the new place (we flew in advance). I really planned it out because I knew that the move itself would be stressful enough as it was without any help.

Keep the communication with your SO open. Good luck!

[snow]

Finances definitely - who pays what, what are first priority items, what is not as important (for us it's: food, necessary clothing, computer hardware as first priority).

Time spent together/with the ones left behind - How do you stay in contact with the people you might have left behind, how do you spend your time together to have fun and where are your boundaries when it comes to interaction! Don't be scared to make your limits clear, not everyone likes to be around their SO all the time, sometimes you need time to yourself and if you don't want to be talked to as soon as you get up, right before bed, right after you come home, when you eat, etc. tell your SO!
It took a little bit of adjustment for me to understand that there is certain times my husband doesn't like to be talked to (right after work before he has eaten lunch, right after he woke up), because I don't really care, I'm always open for it. My request on the other hand was to only ask me to do something with me, when you're ready to do it or if it's for later, add that part. I'll finish what I'm doing quickly or drop everything unnecessary to spend time with him anytime and it used to be really aggravating when he was not ready even though he was asking for my attention.

Family time - whom do you visit for which holiday and if you can't visit, how do you manage to make everyone feel involved? Arrange skype dates, mix things up.

Packing - what can you bring, what will you have to have send over, what makes more sense to donate or throw away? For example, I left my guitar with my twin (because she likes to play too) and it was too big for my suitcase and way too fragile to ship so I bought a new one here.

[Ella85]

Packing - what can you bring, what will you have to have send over, what makes more sense to donate or throw away? For example, I left my guitar with my twin (because she likes to play too) and it was too big for my suitcase and way too fragile to ship so I bought a new one here.

Re: Packing.
This is good. Basically with my stuff I'm going to sell the electrical stuff like fridge freezer, washing machine, oven, TV and PC. I'll buy a new pc when I get there and donate the rest of my furniture that can't be sold to charity. Things like photographs will be shipped, sentimental stuff packed and I will donate or give to friends any extra clothes that I don't particularly wear and buy new when I get there.

My daughters stuff we are going to take her nicest toys and give the rest to charity, I'm going to take her clothes that are in the best condition and buy new. Anything in storage is going as I don't need it. Then my books I am undecided if I'll pay to ship them or if I will give them to my friends. DVDs I am taking to CEX and I will probably sell my ps3 and games and just put it toward something new when we get there.

Pets: We have fish and a snake. One of my close friends has said she will have my snake as it's £700 to ship him The fish will go to family and the tank sold. My boyfriend doesn't really like pets but I'm hoping I can get another snake when I get there.

[differentcountries]

I am guessing that anything SO would like to keep but not ship, he can store it in his family's house. But apart from his study books, and the kitchen stuff that maybe we can just as well donate to his friends, he doesn't own all that much. We rent a fully furnished appartment, it even has ben linens and towels. He could probably fit everything he owns into two-three suitcases or bags.

I am more worried about the cat... I am looking into if it is possable to ship the cat to Norway and we would have to do to make it pass and how expensive the animal quarantine is. I know it will be all up to me. He is used to not being able to afford taking care of cats and so he acts a bit indifferent towards the subject. We really should budget how much the cat food costs and what the vetrenarian costs will be.

Also timing; like, if he is going to move here, when will he do that? If he passes his last exams in January, will he want to find a job there based on his education (considering also that it will look better on every visa application if he could get a steady job first)? But if we wait, then the job offer in Norway may not still stand when we come back to the issue. On the other hand, if we try too fast, he might suffer from culture shock, which is why I think it would be good for him to have at least one more 1 month visit before we decide on how and when....

[Zephii]

Oh, and talk about your libidos and how much sex you expect to have. The man who is happy to masturbate on Skype with you every night, might be the man who only wants to have real sex twice a week. ASK!