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**Miasmata** · June 8, 2015, 06:10 AM

Honestly - Why don't you ask him what he would be comfortable with? Moves are a lot of stress and I don't know if I wanted a party right away, or at all. Not everyone wants a big thing, but for others, it could be a great way to interact. It really depends on what you both want and feel good with.

We didn't have a party or anything, we just hung out with friends and allowed my SO to arrive at a slower pace. We'll likely have a bigger thing once we move, as a housewarming party. By that point, he'll be well settled in.

**differentcountries** · June 8, 2015, 07:11 AM

What is your fiance like? Does he like parties? Does he like being the center of attention? How does he react to meeting new people?

A party is nice, and I thought about having a big one when my SO visited, to introce him to all my friends, especially since his birthday was during his stay. But I know him to be easily overwealmed, and so I refrained from doing it. Instead we met several friends one one one, attend small parties etc. where he was not center of attention, and had just a small birthday party for him with some friends of mine. He adjusted well to Norway but it was also very emotionally hard on him. It was the first time ever he had been abroad a whole month. So I think just having that small party, and allowing him to share that with people back home (I ordered a special cake to him that he posted pic from), was enough for him, any more attention he would have felt cornered, slow and small worked for us.

On the next, and hopefully longer visit, I definetely want to have some huge party where I plan to introduce SO. I like having huge parties. But I would not call it SOs welcoming party, I would rather just arrange a party which is normal for me and of course my boys will attend my party if they so like. And I will make a point of, prior to the party, bring him along to meet more of my friends so that not most at the party are strangers to him. That way, I think it will be more natural for him to slowy get to know my social circle (I already knows most of his) and not rush into it. And I would be open about throwing the party for me, not for him, and so he would be free to choose to not attend it or leave early should he want to. I know him to either hate or love parties, like he almost did not go to the wedding of his friend in the fall, but then he went and he loved it, so I have to take his personality into account when planning something like this. I might also include him in the planning, because he do like making drinks and stuff, I can make him the bartender of the evening and give him a role, I think he would like that

If your SO has until now not met many of your family and friends, and possably is not used to Australia either, I suspect a party right away will be a bit too much - unless you know for sure that is the sort of thing he really thrives at (could be the dj?

).

**lucybelle** · June 8, 2015, 11:26 AM

My SO arrived on Valentine's Day so I made some brownies and decorated my apartment a bit. I bought red crepe paper and hung it around. And I made a big sign that said "welcome home".

**MissingMyDutchLove** · June 8, 2015, 03:25 PM

I would agree that you should talk to your SO about what he would be comfortable with. I have major anxiety just being with everyone in my SO's immediate family even after knowing them in person for almost six months. It's still hard for me to adjust (partly because of the language thing, but also because it's just a lot of people in one room!). I think that the party is a great idea for some people, but make sure your SO is one of those people. Or consider just doing a small dinner party with only close friends/family so it's not quite so overwhelming. Congrats!!

**whatruckus** · June 8, 2015, 05:53 PM

I definitely agree that you should probably talk to him about it. Sometimes people don't like to be surprised about this sort of thing. For me, if I'm around people I don't really know that well, I get anxiety, as does my SO.

**Dezface** · June 8, 2015, 10:37 PM

I personally wouldn't have enjoyed a party when I moved. I was stressed and scared and sad about leaving my home. Excited too, yes. But there were so many emotions jumbled around that a big party would have been awful. I'd say wait a bit on that and do something like Lucybelle said. Keep it low key and give him time to adjust.

**LDR** · June 9, 2015, 03:35 AM

Thanks for all your comments and suggestions.. He LOVES meeting new people and is the life of the party type personality so i know he would love the idea and he is so excited to meet everyone he has been interacting with over skype and facebook for the past few years

I know I would feel overwhelmed if I moved to him but only because I can't speak much arabic, where he speaks perfect english so he won't have the stress of trying to awkwardly communicate with anyone here.

I know he will be mega jet lagged from over 24 hours travel when he lands so i obviously don't want everyone i know to surprise him at the airport lol my parents and siblings and my best friend wants to meet him at the airport so he feels really welcomed. Maybe that would be enough for him and then the next day could spend time with them all doing a lunch or dinner or something... I could then organise a welcome party in the weeks to follow... He does happen to be a DJ so if i give him some notice i know he would love to organise a set for the party..

thanks all

**Miasmata** · June 9, 2015, 06:03 AM

Still, wouldn't hurt to ask him, so you can be sure you're organizing something he'll like.

**Dezface** · June 9, 2015, 08:42 AM

I assure you that the ability or inability to communicate is not the only stressor of moving internationally. But you obviously know your guy best, so if you're sure he's up to all the fanfare, have at it.

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A way to celebrate SO moving to me?

A way to celebrate SO moving to me?

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