7 year age gap and parent approval

[Monkey and Gorilla]

I'm 17 and the guy who I'm in a LDR in is 24. The age gap doesn't bother us at all, I honestly don't even think about our age I just see us as the same and so does he. I'm very mature for my age and that helps with our relationship. He plans on coming to see me for about a week during my thanksgiving break this November. We are both extremely excited to finally meet each other! But the problem is getting my parents permission for him to come see me and go to our family functions during this time. He wants to get my parents approval because he doesn't want to be rude and intrude. My parents know that I've been talking to him but they don't know how serious we are. I'm not sure how to bring this up to my parents and ask if he can come during that time. I'm especially scared/nervous to tell my dad because he only says negative things about my relationship with the guy I'm talking to, like that he's a pedophile and he's fake. I mean by time he visits me I'll be 18 so I'll be legal. But still I don't know what to say to my parents or how to bring up the conversation or what to do! I really just want this to work out so badly. So I'm asking any of you who are in a LDR or have been in a similar situation for advice on what I should do??

[differentcountries]

Is there any way he can talk to your dad after you have turned 18? That way the pedophile argument is no longer on the table. After you are 18, you don't need your parents' permission, just their blessing.

Even so, I am not sure that combining a first live date and going to family functions is a good idea. You have to get to know him in the flesh, possably your parents need to get to know him before presenting him to everyone in your family as your boyfriend. Especially if your parents may be sceptical about the relationship.

ps: closing the distance= moving to live together. I guess you mean coming for a visit.

[R&R]

Be honest with your parents. Some background for you: My daughter was 16 when she started dating her SO and he was 20. She is now 19. Though he went to her high school, she didn't really know him but his cousin was in her class which is how they initially met. He immediately went into the military and their entire relationship has been LDR. This July he'll finally be stationed in Canada and they will only be 6 hours away. She told me about him when he started boot camp and they were initially just friends. As things progressed, she told me about it. She never hid it and I was glad she told me all the way through. When he finally came home for a visit and I got to meet him, I found out what a good kid he is. He always treats her well. Now 3 years later, he calls me Mom and he is a part of the family. If she had hid the relationship and been lying to me by omission, I wouldn't have been at all happy about any of it.

When I was 17, I was dating a 24 year old. We were not long distance and even lived together for awhile. In the end, the age difference was too much. He like to go out with his friends to places I wasn't old enough to get into. A lot of times I was out of place because of that. I couldn't relate to a lot of things they were dealing with. I was "the kid" even after I turned 18. Though we are still friends, I can say I'm glad it didn't work out.

Once you are 18, technically there is not a lot they can say about it legally. However, if you are still living in their household, they can dictate a lot. You need to sit down and talk with your parents and let them know the situation. I also agree with differentcountries that a big family setting like Thanksgiving may not be the best time for a first meeting and for him to meet the entire family. Things may change between now and November, so take it one step at a time.

[whatruckus]

I really don't think that having him come up during the holidays and basically being thrown into your family functions is a good idea. No one knows him, and more than likely everyone else in your family is going to feel the same as your dad. If your parents have negative thoughts about him, before they've met him, and had time to get to know him, they're going to project those thoughts onto all the other family members.

You should really start your parents off by having them start talking to your SO. See what he's like. Then, after a while (and not a few days or weeks), start bringing up him coming to meet all of you. Don't say that he's just coming to meet you, because he needs to meet your family so they can get to know him.

I feel R&R really put it best, especially considering she has been in your position.

And yes, the term "Closing the Distance" to all of us means you are either moving closer together (within the same city) or you're moving in together.