Me and my boyfriend have been together for 9 months now and have only met once. I'm going to go see him in August for a couple weeks! I can't wait! We've been talking a lot lately about me moving there next year after he finishes high school. I really want to be with him, but moving so far away from my friends, family and everything I know is terrifying! He refuses to move here although it would be better in my opinion. If I move there I'd have to take a year off from school so that my parents don't have to pay out of state fees and getting back into school after a year off would be hard. Plus I've never had a job or had to take care of myself before. I don't even have my license yet! I need some opinions on what I should do. Help!
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Don't take a year off school for this. Finish school first then look at moving. I know a year seems like a lot but it will fly by.
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Well ultimately it would end up being three years until I could move there if I were to finish school then move. He knows my education is very important so he'd make me do online classes during the break time.Comment
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I agree with Redheart. It looks like a long time now, but the education is definitely worth it. You'll likely be very glad you have it, plus stuff like your license, once it comes to that. Being able to earn money and get around is incredibly important, and you deserve to be independent.
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It'll take a lot more than words and guns
A whole lot more than riches and muscle
The hands of the many must join as one
And together we'll cross the riverComment
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I actually moved to be with my now ex SO and gave up a year of school to be with him. It was VERY stressful, especially when it came to re-getting my license, getting settled down, trying to find a school with my major and ending up having to switch, etc. We've since broken up and while I don't regret being with him, I regret making such a rash decision to put school on hold to be with him. My best advice is to wait until your schooling is finished. You'll be glad you did.
Best of luck <3Comment
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While I'm not saying that you can't have a serious relationship young or only meeting your SO once in person, that combination scares the hell out of me for you. You are 18! Your boyfriend hasn't even graduated high school yet. Your parents are paying for your schooling. None of these things add up to you being able to move out of state to your boyfriend (of less than a year that you've met in person once). You have to be smart and realistic. Your parents are helping you with your finances (you've said you've never had a job before, so that would imply that they are paying everything for you), and I don't know about your particular situation, but my parents sure as hell would not foot the bill for me to make such a rash decision and drop out of school for a year. Long distance is hard. Everyone here gets that, but the thing that makes me think that you're not ready to move yet is the fact that you aren't putting yourself first. In the scheme of things, 3+ years is NOTHING. Yes, everyone wants to close the distance, but it makes so much more sense when you have a degree and are able to actually support yourself. You would be foolish to put your life on hold to move to your boyfriend when you're in school already, have it all paid for by your parents, and have no means to support yourself when you move. Put yourself and your education first. If you two are meant to be, you will make it through this time apart and will still be able to close the distance in 3 years.Comment
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My mom is super supportive and she's the one telling me to move. She thinks I can do it and my boyfriend is already looking for a place to live and talked to people about a job for me. My best friend and her ex were long distance for tow years and that's what made them break up and I'm kind of scared that'll happen to us so I would like to close the distance before three years. Yeah, I know every relationship is different and I might sound crazy for thinking the same thing could happen to my relationship, but I can't help it.Comment
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Slow down.
You are so young, please please please finish school first!!
If your SO truly loves you he WILL wait. I know how hard this is, I'm a very impatient person but your education us so important, there's no reason why you can't continue as you are, with regular visits in the school holidays and be happy!
The time will fly believe me. Don't throw away a good education for this, I know I sound old and boring but I'm still 19 in my head, just a hell of a lot wiser...Comment
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this is your gut instinct feeling scared. I'd listen to it.Originally posted by laurel23 View Post
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Live life. Get your license. Get a job. Learn to take care of yourself, and to be independent... Do all those things and more before you seriously consider moving for an LDR. I personally doubt I would seriously consider moving for someone who wouldn't consider moving for me. Live life! You're young.Comment
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Yep. I agree. If after giving something a period of thought and you're still questioning it and feeling hesitant, that means it should be a no.Originally posted by Redheart14 View PostComment
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I'm not scared of being with him. I mean yeah moving across the country and leaving everything I know is absolutely terrifying, but it has to happen eventually I guess. I'm scared that if I don't movie there soon that we'll break up.Comment
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Is there any indication this will happen? Like, legit evidence? Or is it "just" your fear?Originally posted by laurel23 View Post
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It'll take a lot more than words and guns
A whole lot more than riches and muscle
The hands of the many must join as one
And together we'll cross the riverComment
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I think it's just me and my fears. I tend to worry a lot, but I think you guys are right. I should finish college, get my license and a job so I can save up and then I can move there. Three years seems like forever though, but I guess in the long run it'll be worth it.Comment
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It will be and trust me, 3 years will fly by. I've been with my SO for 3 years and we've not even met yet!!! Not for lack of trying I hasten to add, adult life just gets in the always sometimes and it's really thrown everything it can in our way to try and push us apart. We are stronger than ever tho with out first visit almost within touching distance now.
Hang in there sweetie, you will be ok and you have all of us here for support. Best advice I can give is try to keep busy and try not to think or worry too much. I know it's really hard not to do that but you can do it, you just have to train your brain.
You will be fine!!Comment
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