We've been together for more than five years, in an LDR the entire time. In 2012, he promised to move in the next year or two. When 2014 approached he promised to move in 2015. Still no move. Now, it's 2016,-and he's going to move this summer...yeah, right. He's got no plans, we fight when I bring up the topic and he just goes on and on about how much he loves me and how good he is to me. On top of that, he is now refusing to discuss it. I don't think he's ever going to move and am considering ending it. But, he's the love of my life! I can't imagine loving anyone again after the amazing time we've had together. At the same time, his refusal to move basically is telling me that he doesn't love me enough to move. I don't know what to do.
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So. He won't move...and he won't talk to you about why???
Just curious, how old are you both? How I often do you visit? Is he in school or have something else tying him down? Is there a reason you can't move?
Something does not sound right.... -
Hmm, guessing from her account name "Sarah1977" she is 39? So maybe if it's not shool then something about work that he can't move? Friends? Family?Originally posted by sasad View PostComment
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5 years is a long time. But I know people who have been in LDRs longer than than. It can be things like school and work holding people back.
However, not wanting to talk about things is not good. However, howcome he is the one who has to move? What is the reasons behind that? What are your own chances for relocating?I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
- Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"
"Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visitsComment
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Sounds fishy to me. Even if one does not have the means of doing so they should really bring that up. And closing the distance in a LDR usually requires some decent planning. Like saying "I'm going to move to you this summer," is such an easy thing to say, but to do, it's often a bit more of a process. And it's a big process especially if you live in different countries.Comment
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I'm 38, he's 43. He owns a home and can't decide if he wants to sell (and lose a lot of money) or rent. He's owned his home the entire relationship. It's not like this is a new road block. He also has a job that offers him a lot of independence. He could have the same job here, as far as I can tell, but, I don't even think he's got a resume together.
We visit often, about 3 weekends a month. I can't move there because I have two kids, and I'd have to give up joint custody to move 4.5 hours away. He agreed to move before the relationship even started.
I don't know what's wrong. I don't know what is really keeping him. I think about ending the relationship often.Comment
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I have two children and their father lives here. He agreed to be the one to move before we even started a relationship.Comment
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Oh Sarah. I feel you on this, it is not easy.
I had a similar problem about moving and it was part of the stuff that draw us apart.
He wanted me to move in, without any planning and I think that he was not very thoughtful or caring. (We didn't have any kids or houses, so your situation is even harder)
Follow your gut and if you think in ending, it might be the best decision. You don't want to get hurt and burned.
Good vibes in your way.Comment
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So let me ask you, what makes you stay with him? You're going into your 3rd year of him saying he'll move and it's nowhere closer than it was the first year. You're obviously very skeptical that it's even going to happen this summer. He has given you lip service but no action and now won't even discuss it.Originally posted by Sarah1977 View Post
You have to decide how long you are willing to wait. He knows right now that you will just wait and wait and wait and he doesn't really have to do anything about it because you will just suck it up and deal with it. If you are willing to wait another 1, 2, 3 years for him, then you do it. If you are not willing to wait, then you need to give him a deadline.
"Love of my life" is a relative sentence. I had met the "love of my life" when I was 29. We were on and off for 6 years. Though I can see he was truly my first real experience of actual love, as it turns out, he wasn't the "love of my life". It feels like it when you're there, and sometimes it's true. However, don't use it as an excuse for someone to treat you poorly or to stay in an unsatisfying relationship.To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.
Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.
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Difficult to leave a person who loved you such long...Comment
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