Wanting to close the distance but...

[mountaingrl]

Me and my boyfriend have been together almost 6 months. The story of how we met is kind of strange, and long so I won't bore anyone with any details. We want to close the distance and be together, however, my soon to be ex-husband and his family don't want me to move away with our kids. When all of this started, he took the kids and said I wouldn't have custody of them because him and his family thought I was going to run away with them. Honestly, that isn't my intention at all. My SO also has 2 kids and a very complicated marriage that he is ending.

My question is...has anyone ever closed the distance when children are involved? I know there is a bunch of legal stuff that I will have to go through, I'm just curious if anyone has been successful?

[R&R]

I can only go by my experience. When I closed the distance with my (ex)husband, my daughters were 12 & 13. I moved from NH to CA. Their dad got primary physical custody and we had joint legal custody. I had them summer and every other holiday and school vacations. I paid out over $500 a month in child support. It lasted all of 14 months and I moved back to NH to be with my kids and we amicably divorced. He had 2 young kids that he couldn't leave in CA.

The courts will look at what is best for the kids. If they have a parent willing to take them and support them where they live now, chances are they will maintain primary physical custody. This way they stay in the same school system with familiarity, friends and family. It's hard to present to a judge that you are moving for a relationship and that it's best for the children to go with you.....especially when Dad doesn't want them to go.

[Nisha]

Depends on the laws of the region you live in. Of course, it mostly depends on the future of your kids. Your ex-husban's family has a right to see the kids whenever thay want. Try to prove them that your SO is a reliable man, make them acquainted and your ex's family will probably feel ok about that.

[UnknownBuddy]

I admire those who have experience on this one. Does the universe approve? Perhaps there could be the common problem of humanity in general, the expense of travel. Still, love finds a way!