How Long Should You Be Together

[SugarBooger]

Exactly as the title says lol my SO and I started talking in September of last year and became exclusive not long after that. We met Memorial Day weekend (May) and Eventhough I had bad anxiety (new strange place and meeting him for the first time - in told this is normal) we had a wonderful time. We didn't have much sex which surprised me but it was all the first for everything and I guess I just wanted to cuddle. Anyway, the distance is starting to take its toll on both of us. I live in NY and he is in the Midwest. I have to be the one to move since he has kids Eventhough he wants out of his state. We both want the same future so this definitely helps. The issue is, we only met once but I'm feeling pressure to go. Mostly from myself. I am itching for a change and I am 34 living at my moms because it's just too expensive to stay here. I'm scared to death to leave everything I know. My questions are, are you ever really ready? How many visits should you have before closing the distance? Is anxiety normal? Are fears of regret normal?

[Redheart14]

I don't think there's a thing of being really ready. Each goes through their own opinions and thoughts on that. Yes, anxiety is part of it. It's a big thing for the person leaving and being the one to move. It's an adjustment and with that change comes anxiety but you've just got to focus on the positives and not dwell on things you know you'll miss. As for as time, I guess only the two of you can answer that. you mentioned you're itching for a change so I'd say you're at the right time in your life for this. It's scary, yes. But it's also the start of a brand new chapter for you.

[R&R]

I moved cross-country after 2 visits to him and he had 2 visits here. Though things between us were fine, I really wish I had spent more time in the area before making the move. I didn't know it well, it was much larger than I am used to and the culture shock from East Coast to West Coast was crazy. IMHO, getting a few visits in to really get to know the area is beneficial.

[SugarBooger]

Thank you to both of you. I definitely need to spend more time there. I suffer from bad anxiety and it just gets in the way and skews everything . I'm trying to ignore it