Both Have strong ties to the area

[Timbo1208]

I am madly in love with my high school sweetheart. We parted ways about 16 years ago and both had long relationships between. Now I live about 700 miles away. We reached out for each other about 5 months ago and I have been up to see her three times. All three times have been very intense, emotional and unbelievable. We talk everyday and have both said we wish we never left each other and waste all this time. Here is the rub, her and I both have strong family and career ties to where we live now. We have the resources to see each other about once a month. I worry that either one of us that decides to take the plunge and relocate may resent the other during hard times. Does anyone have any advice on how long we can go with seeing each other once a month? Should we just see how it goes for a while or do you think we need to set long term goals? I hope one of you may have some good advise cause i literally feel like I am wasting time everyday I am not with her.

[R&R]

I'm going to be honest with you - seeing each other once a month is really good in an LDR. I just went 16 months between visits and there are some on here who have been together a couple of years and haven't met yet. I'm not saying this as a contest as to who has it worse but so maybe you can see a little bigger of a picture.

It's been 5 months, so give it some more time. It's good that you have reconnected but the people you were 16 years ago are not the same people you are today. You have grown and had different experiences that have shaped you in different ways. It's a re-learning experience for each of you. Right now, enjoy getting to know each other again.

Relocating can be difficult. One or the other of you will have to make the decision that you are ready to move or possibly find a place in the middle that works for both of you as far as career and housing. I will be relocating to TX from NH. My SO wants to move back to his home after over 20 years in IN. My oldest daughter will be moving with me but my youngest (she's 20) is staying in NH. My parents, sister & her family and all my friends are in NH. I will have to start a new job and career at the age of 46. Is it going to be hard? Yes. However, I went into this eyes wide open and you both are too. If they are the right person, you both do what it takes to make it work and each of you will be making sacrifices and compromises. Best of luck.

[differentcountries]

I think it is the general rule that both people have strong ties to their area, especially if they are not young and adventurous. It is more the exeption that people willingly move far away from their home where they have most of their social network.

Our long term goal is for my SO to move 2900 miles to my country. In doing so, I will be taking him away from the work town he has lived many years where most of his friends live, for a future that is uncertain at best. We did see each other once a month for many months. Now we are both in relatively new jobs and we have not seen each other in over 3 months, it will be 4 when I fly there again.

Generally, it is a good plan to make plans for one to two times the times you have already dated. Which in your case is to make plans for the next 5-10 months. Seeing each other a couple of more time during the next time months will give you a chance to get to know not just each other, but also each other's family, friends and area. Enjoy the ride and take it from there

[Timbo1208]

Thank you very much for the perspective. You have made me feel more Confident about just enjoying the ride for a while. Good luck to you. I hope ya'll the best.