Have you done a "Trial Run" of closing the distance?

[2Rocky]

Curious if any couples have done a month or more cohabitating, with the intention of going long distance again before closing the distance for good in the future?

Did it make the distance harder after?

Did it solidify the desire to close the distance?

Did it speed up the time to closing the distance implementation?

Did it make you realize that closing the distance was not the right answer?

How long together in the trial period was long enough to know?

[snow]

Did it make the distance harder after?
I took 2 ~3 month trips before we closed the distance. It was the longest I was allowed to stay and I was just between jobs / had school vacation.

Did it solidify the desire to close the distance?
Yes. I knew we worked well together and being around each other made us very happy.

Did it speed up the time to closing the distance implementation?
Yes. The plan was for us to have another year of visits, but after living together for about a month he proposed and we started the visa process a half year later instead of a year and a half.

Did it make you realize that closing the distance was not the right answer?
-

How long together in the trial period was long enough to know?
Really about a month. It was still challenging once I moved here, because life is different when you work to when you don't work. On those visits, I had no commitments and it was easy to do all the chores and stuff, but when I started working it was more challenging.

[differentcountries]

Sort of.

We have spent a month together on 3 occations; I spent 2 summers with him (we rented a flat two seasons, so I was there a lot to begin with) while he worked, and he spent a month one winter with me, while I worked but I had some days off. We went fjord-seeing AND he came with me to buy my new flat, haha! I cant belive I made him do that. But it was sort of an accident... (long story).

Yes, it made the distance harder in a way, but also easier too. It was harder after the first whole month we spent together. Then I think I cried for a month after I came home and he was also very moody after I left. But then I think it sort of eased on us, and it started to get better (well, the 2nd summer we had a fall out, but after it our relationship got even better than before). We are very keen to close the distance, but we have had to be creative with it. We know we want to live together and that we are good at it. The difficulty is that we want him to live here, and he cant speak much of my language yet. If he comes to stay a month another time, I want him to take a language class - but he works a full year now, not season, and I dont know how much time off he will have this year.

The problem with very long trial periodes is that they are expensive and that you get a too huge break from your daily routine. I would love for him to stay 3 months but I think he would go crazy with not having anything to do. He is not very good at organizing and entertaining himself lol

What we have also done, is that when I have visited I have studied. Granted, I controlled that myself as I had no exams, but I did use a lot of time on it. On my last visit, I broght my job with me and did it while I was there - and it was very hard and busy, but I really felt like I was "living" with him because I was working while he was working. Strangely enough, it felt very romantic to be busy together, I think because we both realized that that will be our reality a lot if he moves here.

We also both want eventually to buy (or long term rest) property in his country. But that is a bit further down the line..

[Rezie]

Curious if any couples have done a month or more cohabitating, with the intention of going long distance again before closing the distance for good in the future?

We did about 3 months with the idea of him looking for job, but if he doesn't find one then he will head back home. When the time was about to come he was not too comfortable with looking for jobs so he came just for a trial with an option to look something more permanent.

Did it make the distance harder after?

Yes. I'm sure that if we had done it before it would have gone a lot better. We did it at the point where I was sick of the distance so spending time together with knowing the other one will leave and we will just continue the distance didn't help us.

Did it solidify the desire to close the distance?

not from my side. For me it was a rollercoaster of emotions and made me question our relationship. He thought it was a great experiment and felt like everything went well. We didn't really learn anything new from each other, but some of the small features become more apparent. It is easy to ignore them when spending short amount of time together.

Did it speed up the time to closing the distance implementation?

Not yet at least. Well my boyfriend now feels better about moving here and his doubts about moving abroad has disapeared, but still the employment is an issue. Also I got a lot of doubts about the subject.

Did it make you realize that closing the distance was not the right answer?

Not this one either. It did force us to think of the bigger picture and review our relationship. If we make it from this we will be stronger than ever. There is a trong possibility that it won't work out but I'm glad we did it.

How long together in the trial period was long enough to know?

the 3 months were not enough to know. Maybe if he had gotten a job or a course or something fro it to be more "real". Now he was at home alone and I was at work.

All in all I think thay trial period is a good idea, preferable make it longer than few months in a way that the other one has something going on for them. When the other one is on holiday and other one is at work it doesn't feel like what it would be for real. For us it didn't work out the way we envisioned. I think our problem was that this trial came in too late in our relationship. But yeah. If possible to spend longer amounts of time together I would reccomend it.

[Isfahan]

We did this twice, once for 3 months and once for 2.5 months (I am still a student so I can spend my summer vacations at my SO's place).

Did it make the distance harder after? No, not really. Sure, leaving after having become accostumed to have my SO around all the time hasn't been easy. But for us is even harder when we have to say goodbye after just a few days of being together, so it worked fine for us.

Did it solidify the desire to close the distance? Yes. We got to know each other's quirks and flaws, and we learned to accept them little by little. It hasn't always been easy, especially the first time, but we found a way to make it work eventually. In both cases, I had to do some studying despite my vacation time, and he had to work full time, so we really 'simulated' the whole closing the distance situation, stress and bad mood included.

Did it speed up the time to closing the distance implementation? No. I had plans on starting my master's in my home country and this didn't change after some time together.

Did it make you realize that closing the distance was not the right answer? Not in my case. Living together did make us question our relationship to some extent, but we ended up solving our issues and feeling even stronger about being together for good.

How long together in the trial period was long enough to know? I feel like it wasn't much, maybe a month or so. We fell pretty quickly into the routine and everything that comes with it.

[Loveyoumore]

We did & it is harder to say see you soon & be apart again. I cant wait for us to close this distance hopefully this year or next.

[Sparkling72]

Yes, we did 2 wks on 2 wks off for 3 months, then he came here for 5 wks.

Did it make the distance harder after?
Yes... mostly b.c he is deployed and we can't communicate the way we did in our normal LDR

Did it solidify the desire to close the distance?
Absolutely! It brought us closer than we even imagined, bc we were pretty dang close.

Did it speed up the time to closing the distance implementation?
No, he's military... nothing can speed that up unfortunately

How long together in the trial period was long enough to know?
His first 2 wk visit, I knew I could live with him. After his month stay, I knew I couldn't live without him. But from a logical stand point, I would say a solid month is good way to find out.