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    #1

    USA and island life > Europe (France)

    Hello everybody!

    We plan to close the distance with my boyfriend in a couple of months. I live in France and he lived since 5 years on a little and hot island in the middle of the pacific ocean. He is in the Navy and lived with roommates, I am his first girlfriend in a while.

    He is going to come here to study so this part is set. We will live in the flat that I own. But..

    I am really afraid for him to come because I really want him to feel at home here, but everything will be so different: No heat, no beaches, no parties with friends, no diving and "single" anymore. Here it's more like changing weather but mostly cold, french language that he doesn't really know, no friends, knowing nobody, and so on.

    Europe is very different from the US. I can't stop thinking of the fact that it will not work out.

    What can I do to make him feel at ease?

    Any advice is welcome..

    Thank you all and sorry for my english!
    Tags: None
    #2
    You will have to explain a lot of the cultural differences when they come up! That's something that helped me feel a lot more at ease when something came up that I didn't understand.

    Relationship began: 05/22/2012
    First Met: 03/21/2013 - 03/30/2013
    Second Visit: 06/06/2013 - 08/21/2013 ~ Proposal: 07/06/2013 ♥
    Third Visit: 10/09/2013 - 01/08/2013
    Closed the distance: 11/20/2014 ♥
    Married: 1/24/2015
    Became Resident: 9/14/2015

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      #3
      Yes but sometimes I'm not aware of everything. I mean, before I met him, I didn't know things were so different between Europe and the US! But it's interesting haha.

      Comment

        #4
        Well, the cultural differences would come up anyway at some point. No matter if it's you who would move to him, or him to you.

        And you said that he was in Navy, working during the day and partying in the evenings? Well studying isn't going to be much different :P
        If he's going to study, he'll make new friends, learn the language and meet other people who are also trying to accustom to French ways

        And you won't know if this will work out until you try I don't know how long you've been together, but living together will either "make it or break it".

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          #5
          In fact, he can live a "single" life there like going out with his friends, having is own flat, doing his life. Like I do in fact. But now it's like "welcome to the real life couple" and obviously we are not going to be out like before anymore, you know what I mean? I am scared he will miss it. Be surrounded by guys and stuffs.

          We've been together only for 1 year, so yes it would make it or break it as you said..

          Comment

            #6
            It will be a couple of years further down the line, but our long term plan is for SO to come here. He does not live in a tropical country, and sometimes some places there is snow there, but for the most part they have fall when we have winter, summer when we have spring (temperature wise), hot hot summer during summer and our summer again in the fall. I plan to make the bathroom like a Turkish bath lol...the way I can, anyway.

            You can enroll him in a language class if he is not signed up for one already. And just do things with him, meet people. Try out hobbies. Learn how to divide the housework, what you want done and how.

            You never know what people find exotic. SO was very fascinated by our trains and our bus tunnels, which are very ordinary and boring to me lol He also is very fascinated by a certain low door that is normal in our grocery stores (that keeps you from going out the way you came in, so you will not steal anything), and kept going "that is very interesting, that door" He also was trying out sounds and words that he read on street signs and names of train stations, it was quite cute and his wording is very good. It was cool to see him engaged so much.

            But he was also very frustrated by the lack of "real beer" (I have since learned where to get Turkish beer!). And I think being here a whole month without having anything to do (like work or studies) really messed with his head, even if we went on trips, and even if he has his own friends here that he visited. I think it is very good that your SO is enrolled in studies, so that he is "doing something".

            You cant plan everything, just expose yourselves to new things and take them as they come. Try to be generous....
            Last edited by differentcountries; February 24, 2017, 09:24 AM.
            I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
            - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



            "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

            Comment

              #7
              He is in the Navy, so I am trying to think of what little island it would be. If its Hawaii etc, then they have their own set of problems. Hawaii was nice, but Oahu is not that big. I went NUTS not being able to just drive someplace else. Like another state On an Island you need to FLY to go anywhere. I was also bored, yes its true, of not having seasons after the initial fun wore off. And being in the military, has he been stationed elsewhere? He should be at some point.
              Going to another country would be exciting. Its about learning the cultures and what the area has to offer. Focus in the good stuff!

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                #8
                Differentcountries your message cheers me up. You are right. Sometimes I tend to forget how some usual things can be very exotic for him. As you talk for beer, I think this would not really be a problem because his mother is really sweet and keep sending him stuffs from the US, so I'm not really wondering about it haha.

                Sasad                 that is true that it is a very small island with not a lot to do. Comparing to here, for sure he will be overwhelmed then haha. And for your question, no, he was only there for 4 years! But before he come to me he's going to the US again and I'm scared he's going to want to stay there again..

                Thank you for both of your messages. It helped me to see the bright side!

                Comment

                  #9
                  Have you spoken to your SO about it? Honestly I couldn't imagine anyone wanting to move to the UK with our dismal weather but it's one of the things my SO is looking forward to the most. He actually can't stand the humid hot weather the southern US gets and is jealous when he hears about our mild summers!

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Originally posted by 80anthea View Post
                    Have you spoken to your SO about it? Honestly I couldn't imagine anyone wanting to move to the UK with our dismal weather but it's one of the things my SO is looking forward to the most. He actually can't stand the humid hot weather the southern US gets and is jealous when he hears about our mild summers!
                    Have you ever tried the Dutch weater? LOL
                    Distance means nothing when someone means everything.

                    Comment

                      #11
                      80anthea in fact he likes all the things that I dislike here haha. But I am telling myself that maybe in the beginning it will be alright, but after a couple of months maybe he'll get jaded..

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