Not sure about stability after closing the distance

[sunmat]

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[C.C.]

Hey, I have read most of your posts over here. And I find this unsurprising.

Do you want my honest opinion? Your girlfriend simply can't live or is subconsciously refusing to live anywhere else outside her country. And I am not saying it's necessarily her fault. She just doesn't seem like a type and not everyone can make all the sacrifices and get used to a new country just like that. She might not be aware of it herself and might be doing it subconsciously but everything that has happened till now kind of shows that. I don't know the reason, she might not be independent enough, or might have hard time dealing with new things or I don't know. That's not for me to find out.

However, her having second thoughts about moving out at first. Then her freaking out about apartment stuff, then the job, and THEN searching for new jobs in Romania. It feels like she was subconsciously searching for reasons or finding things that were wrong and things that would make her feel bad. I mean, it is normal to not have an easy time at first when you move out and maybe she had set her expectations to high but even then, giving up this soon means she never felt comfortable outside of her country and subconsciously wanted back.

Anyway, I think you two need a serious talk to set your end goal. Or break up if it's impossible.
There are only three ways to settle an international LDR, either one moves in with the other, or they both move. If she really can't live outside of her country, can't give it another try in the France or even in the UK for example (she needs to be honest with herself too), it means you would have to move to Romania, learn the language, possibly leave your job and start a new life there. So the question is, who is willing to sacrifice and make a compromise? Or can either of you do it? You really really need to discuss this.

[sunmat]

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[C.C.]

It is difficult to know whether she would like to just find a job in which she is happy, or to completely go back to living under her parents' roof to have everything back the way it was before.

Yeah, she really needs to do a lot of thinking and find out what exactly is the problem or what she wants.

Also even if she moved there and you went to temp LDR again, what then? You two need to have the end planned and in sight, especially after you were this close.

[Moon]

I'm really sorry, sunmat. I've read your other posts too, and like C.C., I agree that nothing but her own country will satisfy her. Honestly, she really seems a bit unstable and maybe not mature enough for the relationship you have, and sometimes all the love in the world can't make things work out. I kind of think that, unless you move to Romania, you may have to really think if there's anything you can do to salvage this. I'm not so sure anything outside of going to Romania will be OK. I'm so sorry about that.

[sunmat]

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[snow]

How is her French? I know for a fact how scary it is to work in a country that has a different language than yours. It took me a while to feel alright at my job and I know part of it is because even though I've been learning English for like 10 years before I moved, I still wasn't 100% comfortable around native speakers.

I believe she needs to stop looking in Romania. If she is depressed about her job, she should spend all her energy looking for a different job where she is right now. It might take a while and it might not be what she wants, but she can't keep looking somewhere she says she doesn't even want to be.

I worked with a bully for over a year. There were days I came home crying, there were days I didn't want to wake up and go to work fearing what would happen if I did. There were days I felt totally fine only to go back the next day and feel like shit. Work is work, it's not your life. You work to have money and she needs to see it that way. You go there, do your job and then go home. Leave all the bad stuff at work and move on.
I switched to a room I LOVED but I was making significantly less money, now I am working full time and while I still work with someone I don't like and I have a hard time with, I remind myself that I am only there to do my work and get paid. It's a part of my life, but not my whole life.

[sunmat]

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