Closed the distance but regretting

[Bellabop1988]

So my fiancé and I have been together since 2011 - started online relationship in 2009. We closed the distance in October 2014 and we are now recently engaged. I moved from Australia to live with him in England (he's British). So it'll be 3 years since I've moved in the next month and I'm planning on going back home (haven't been home since) for my 30th in may next year. He's not keen as the last time he was over he was on his working holiday visa and we were living under my dad's roof. My dad wasn't the best host and I made the stupid choice to tell my boyfriend everything bad my dad told me in confidence. It was mostly because I felt hurt that my dad didn't seem to like my boyfriend - though in the end my dad I think didn't like the thought of his little girl being taken away. But I shouldn't have told my boyfriend all the hurtful things my dad said. So now he's put right off from socialising with him and even my brother. I try and tell him that my dad has always been very opinionated and quite intimidating- yet he's so generous and he's a good man really. But we had just lost my mum in 2010 and I think it really effects things. So I try and tell my boyfriend things are different now, my dad has given us his 100% blessing and things would be better if he came back for a holiday as we are on holidays this time! My dad won't pressure him in to getting work. It will be 3 weeks no stress! Just enjoyment. But today I brought it up again as my dad has given money towards our plane ticket. My fiancé was like "I want you to go because it's your family and if I go I won't enjoy it as much." And I was a bit hurt. He says how it feels like a waste of money for him to go and how he doesn't really want to socialise with my family because of last time. How he doesn't want to waste 3 weeks of annual leave for it. I told him how I moved bloody country for him and put up with his family. Am I wrong in feeling hurt that he doesn't want to come to Australia with me? Should I just go myself? I'm just so hurt...I have given up my life in oz to be with him here in England and he doesn't want to share my life...

[Redheart14]

it's understandable that he feels that way knowing how your family felt. If he goes and he doesn't want to be there it could have a negative impact especially if your family try to make an extra effort with him (do they know you told your bf about what they said?) and he's not responsive to that as he's still upset then your family could complain to you about him and that could put unnecessary stress on your trip. If he's dead set against going I guess you need to decide how important it is. It seems your bf has made his opinion now and you need to decide if you're going to try talk it out again or go on your own. Seems like your dad offering to pay is a sign of mending bridges. I think if it was going to make things that uncomfortable after you brought up moving and spending time with his family I'd just go and enjoy time with my family. Best of luck....tough choice

[R&R]

I agree with Redheart14.

And from my experience, I had move 3,000 miles to be with my (ex)husband. When I made trips home, I went alone. It was nice because I was able to spend time with family and friends without having to worry about "entertaining' him.

[differentcountries]

Go alone but be sure to have you and your dad Skype your so, so he will want to come next time.

[TaraMarie]

Maybe he can go for one week and celebrate your birthday. That way he isn't burning all of his vacation time, he doesn't have to be with your family for the entire three weeks, and he can still celebrate your birthday with you.

[Redheart14]

Did you end up making a decision?