How to spend your life together without letting go of everything you have?

[LDR-helpneeder]

Hello everybody!
First of all I have to say, it gives me a very great feeling to know that there are thousends of people who try their best to make a LDR work. I just ran into this form and this will be my first post ever.. Hope you guys can help me!

I am a guy from Turkey, and this Summer I met a beautiful girl from the Netherlands. We just started flirting and this little thing we had going on, turned into a summerlove (she was here for about 5 weeks for a summerjob she had). At the time we both thought it was just going to end after te summer, because a LDR was just something that didnt work. But at the end we were so devestated to call it quits that we decided to keep in contact with each other till we both had enough of it. That contact turned into daily facetime sessions etc. She became a big part of my life, someone I could always go to, for the good and the bad times. We built a trust I have never felt before and now I can truly say I never loved someone the way I love this girl. And I know for sure she feels the same way about me.

Okay, sorry to bother you with this cliche story of mine 😂.
But now the real problem:

I know that 6 months into a relationship is a short amout of time, but I can already see my future with this girl. I am not talking about marrying right now, but perhaps in about 4/5 years. I really think we could make it work, but everytime I think about the future there are some things that are bothering me and I would rather not think of it, but I cannot let it go.

So my girlfriend studies dutch law at the university, so she has her future in the Netherlands. I dont want her to quite everything she worked hard for to come live with me (my girlfriend has a turkish background so she could adapt easily to turkey; but on the other hand .. she lived her whole life there so it still can be very hard, I understand). And I have some family bussines that I have to take care of, so I can�t leave it here like that.
The only way I can think of to build a future together is if we spend 6 months in the Netherlands and 6 months in Turkey (because the bussiness runs really great in the summer/fall and for the other 6 months I would check on a few times). But then I think (and she made this point to me also), how is it going to be when we have children? Where are they going to school then? If they go to school in Holland, she has to stay with the kids, and I will be 6 months apart from her...
She came up with an other idea: she says that we could make a business from Holland to Turkey, and that I can go once per 2 months to check (maybe every month, if we get enough money), and in the summer and winter we can go together. I don�t know about this .. because I think I cant manage to ruin a business from an other country, even with staff to check up on it (or do you guys think it is possible?).

So this is kind of my problem.. I know its early to think of something like this, but I just feel this is the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. But I have to stay realistic. So I hope there are some people who can clear up my mind a little bit.
And otherwise, we will see it when the time comes

[moondance]

It's hard. I think it's great that you are trying to think ahead, but there can be problems when you think too far ahead, because you don't know everything that will happen in the future. I relate to feeling like you have to let go of everything you have. I mourned the life I was giving up to move across the world. I think it's just part of the LDR.

I think all we can really do in life is make the best decisions we can at the time.
The relationships like this take some sacrifices, and it's up to you to decide which are worth it. Money helps, a lot. I think as long as you guys can focus on financial security you will at least not have to worry about that when it comes to flying back and forth for kids, visa fees, etc. I think that's all you can really control right now.

It's still pretty early in the relationship, so I think it best to focus on building your relationship and your finances, and when the time comes, one of you will be willing to make the sacrifices. Either you'll sell your business, or she'll move. Or you'll compromise. If not, then it will be time to move on and you will have had a beautiful relationship to look back on fondly.

I wish I had business advice for you, but I have no experience in running businesses. Hopefully someone else can comment on that.

[LDR-helpneeder]

Hey!
Thank u for your reply!
And deep down I agree with everything you said. It’s just so hard to not think about the future, even knowing that its making the time I have right now less enjoyable.
But hopefully we will have an happy ending..

Thank you!