A journey of 4,000 miles begins with a single step

[Wambby]

This is what he tells me when we prepare for every visit, and now as we are discussiong the details of closing the distance.
It has been 1 year 2 months (on Tuesday) and the goal is to have the distance closed by the end of this year. I KNOW, he is the optimistic one.

Right now, we are deciding who will move and the pros/cons with every option. I have the most stable job and my mom lives about 4 hours away, so we are leaning towards him coming here, but, at the same time we know that him coming N.A right now may be more difficult than me moving to Germany. so maybe i will move to Germany for a couple of years and we can move back. all up for discussion.
I know that this process will add at least another year to the distance closing, but I am just going to stay quiet and ride the optimistic wave with the SO.
we have to find jobs that will relocate, apply for visas and whatever else.. and it costs $$$!

Honestly, im nervous about immedietely moving in together, it has been a year and this will be the 3rd time that we will be face to face. we get a long pretty well, but a week vacation here and there doesnt allow a lot of time to get to know habits, stresses,pet peeves ect..

anyway, im excited, he is excited we have a lot of work ahead of us!

[Siana]

Good luck! Hope you can close it, distance sucks, especially international.

I will say now, that closing the distance in less than a year is probably not attainable if he's coming to the U.S. Trump changed and lengthened all the visa wait times when he became President and made it difficult. It is a very long and very annoying process that I am currently going through with my spouse.

The quickest is probably a work visa - but he has to be in a certain field to be able to find work that way. And it can take a while to find a sponsor for that.

The easiest is a spousal visa - which requires you two get married. But, that is a year wait minimum and costs $1250 + lawyer fees (I recommend a lawyer). A fiance visa lets him in and potentially lets him stay while you switch to spousal, but it's not a guarantee he can stay the whole time, costs more and is still a 7+ month wait. Our lawyer recommended the spousal.

To get the spousal visa you need to make over I think it was $23,000 a year, be married and have no red flags. You need a lot of pictures of your visits together, logs of your chats online, plus support letters from people who know you both to prove it's a real relationship. Our lawyer required 20 photos of us together during visits, 20 pages of our online chat logs from various dates, as many letters of support as we could get (we got 12), $535 check for application fee to send them and $3200 for his own fee for handling the case for the year it's going to take.

During step two, he'll need to have a background check from Germany and any country he's lived in more than 6 months. A medical. An interview at the embassy in Germany. And more money for the step 2 part of the process. You'll need 3 years worth of tax returns proving you have the income to sponsor.

And, they can request additional info at any time and that will stall the process more than the average of a year+.

And, while waiting, the customs people at the airport can deny you entry due to being engaged or married being a red flag, which can mess up your visa (since denials of entry count against you, if denied you have to request withdrawing your request to enter and then fly home immediately to avoid that). So, it's recommended to have a lot of proof of intent to return whenever he comes over - our lawyer suggested a letter from him saying we had hired him for our case, letters from my spouse's job saying he is planning to return to work after the visit, letters from the people he pays rent saying he has an agreement with them for continuing rent after the visit. It's usually not an issue, the lawyer said, but it can be and it's best to not risk it. So, even visits are now a pain in the neck to arrange.

I've been informed it was all much easier before Trump changed things and it would only have taken a max of 6 months and he could have probably stayed with me for it, since we have no red flags against us and Europe is friendly with the U.S. So, I wish I had known my spouse a few years ago, instead of getting together the day Trump was elected...

[snow]

Sorry, Siana, but you got your information wrong about the fiancé visa and since I went through this, I want to make sure we are all clear on the differences between spousal and fiance visa.

https://www.visajourney.com/content/compare
Fiance visa takes a little shorter to get to be with your SO, however, it takes a longer time to be able to work / get your greencard.
Spousal visa takes longer, but you are granted a green card before you enter the US and then you can work immediately.

When you enter on a fiance visa, you have 90 days to get married and file for adjustment of status. You are allowed to stay in the US if you fulfill those requirements as you are entering legally.

Https://visajourney.com
I recommend chekcing out the different visa types on this website and follow its instructions - many of us on this site have filed using these guidelines!

ALSO:
As a European who moved to the US, I personally believe that living in America is more fun, but living in Europe is "safer" for lack of a better word as the health, medicine and all that stuff is easier accessible in Europe. As someone who gets sick quite often, I miss going to the doctor without having to worry about the 250$ co-pay for NOTHING. (But I am bitter about this, so don't listen to this haha)

[Siana]

Sorry, Siana, but you got your information wrong about the fiancé visa and since I went through this, I want to make sure we are all clear on the differences between spousal and fiance visa.


Fiance visa takes a little shorter to get to be with your SO, however, it takes a longer time to be able to work / get your greencard.
Spousal visa takes longer, but you are granted a green card before you enter the US and then you can work immediately.

When you enter on a fiance visa, you have 90 days to get married and file for adjustment of status. You are allowed to stay in the US if you fulfill those requirements as you are entering legally.

Coming in from an ESTA country, you can enter for 90 days and get married legally without the fiance visa. Germany is involved with ESTA. So, the fiance visa is not needed for marriage. You can apply for change of status inside the country once married, but you're not guaranteed to get it granted within 3 months and the extensions are not always granted either - it's a lot harder starting a little over a year ago when the rules got changed and a lot more expensive. Which is why my lawyer said he no longer advises fiance visas to his clients, unless they are from countries that find it difficult to get visas to enter the U.S (non-ESTA). It's maybe a little faster (not by much) and he can't guarantee his clients that it will stop the distance issue, but he can say it will cost them a lot more money.

The current average wait time for a fiance visa is 7+ months.
The current average wait time for a spousal visa is 1 year+

I just started my visa process July of this year, after our marriage. I've been in frequent contact with my lawyer about it, probably annoyingly so for him (but, hey, I'm paying him so he can deal with it :P ). Had two meetings prior to starting things to decide if fiance visa or spousal was better to go with. I was all for the fiance visa, based on reading stories about it - was hoping for a quick get to be together within 6 months or so, so that's what I went in wanting to do at first. But, then I got a very long explanation on all the changes and delays and complications that now exist for it and changed my mind. Which, my lawyer said he'd happily do the fiance visa if that's what we wanted - most the extra cost was going to be his fee for the extra work he would have to do, so wasn't a negative to him, but he didn't want us to have false hopes of being together quickly with it. I was happy to spend the extra money if it would have ended the distance a lot sooner, since international visits cost $1,000+ themselves. But, we went spousal after hearing the changes made to the process.

Nothing more fun than being told "If you had done this a year ago, it would have taken 3-6 months. But, now, I just want you to understand we are looking at about a year no matter which way you go"...

Though, last time I talked to my lawyer he did say the wait times are finally beginning to come down again. Hopefully they keep doing that.

But, I certainly suggest speaking to a lawyer before trying for a visa of any type. It's a very complicated process and having someone that understands all the rules and where to find them is a huge help. Not to mention, someone you can email and be like "OK... this happened, do I need to report it or am I OK?" so you don't stress out that you're slowing your application down through ignorance. A lot of immigration attorneys offer free consultation, so you can figure out if you want to hire them or not and what your best move is before you pay anything.

[Caro1]

Coming in from an ESTA country, you can enter for 90 days and get married legally without the fiance visa. Germany is involved with ESTA. So, the fiance visa is not needed for marriage. You can apply for change of status inside the country once married, but you're not guaranteed to get it granted within 3 months and the extensions are not always granted either - it's a lot harder starting a little over a year ago when the rules got changed and a lot more expensive. Which is why my lawyer said he no longer advises fiance visas to his clients, unless they are from countries that find it difficult to get visas to enter the U.S (non-ESTA). It's maybe a little faster (not by much) and he can't guarantee his clients that it will stop the distance issue, but he can say it will cost them a lot more money.

I DO NOT recommend doing this as this is VISA FRAUD! It can cause you some serious troubles when trying to adjust status. Or even later on when trying to become a citizen.


We are doing the spousal visa route ourselves. I'm German, too.
We are not using a lawyer either as all this paperwork is relatively easy to fill out. It comes with instructions and there is plenty of help on the internet. We would rather spend our money on a nice honeymoon than on a lawyer for something we can do ourselves.
Unless you are dealing with criminal records or there is some other immigration related issue, there's no need for a lawyer, in my opinion. If you have any questions, let me know.

[snow]

Siana, you can get married on the ESTA, but you may NOT apply for adjustment of status AND stay in the states as that is VISA FRAUD.
No one can tell you not to get married in the US, it's your right, but it NEVER took 3 months to adjust for status. I was a quick one with a Fiance Visa in hand and mine took 8 months.

It never was EASIER with the Fiance Visa. They are completely different. Basically, if you want to spend the first year of marriage together, you choose the Fiance Visa, if you don't mind being apart / not in the US together, you choose the Spousal visa.
I am very glad you chose a lawyer.

We are doing the spousal visa route ourselves. I'm German, too.
We are not using a lawyer either as all this paperwork is relatively easy to fill out. It comes with instructions and there is plenty of help on the internet. We would rather spend our money on a nice honeymoon than on a lawyer for something we can do ourselves.
Unless you are dealing with criminal records or there is some other immigration related issue, there's no need for a lawyer, in my opinion. If you have any questions, let me know.

The only reason I didn't like the spousal visa was because my husband is scared of flights and I would have not seen him But honestly, both are good options!

[SDPersona]

Siana, you can get married on the ESTA, but you may NOT apply for adjustment of status AND stay in the states as that is VISA FRAUD.
No one can tell you not to get married in the US, it's your right, but it NEVER took 3 months to adjust for status. I was a quick one with a Fiance Visa in hand and mine took 8 months.

It never was EASIER with the Fiance Visa. They are completely different. Basically, if you want to spend the first year of marriage together, you choose the Fiance Visa, if you don't mind being apart / not in the US together, you choose the Spousal visa.
I am very glad you chose a lawyer.



The only reason I didn't like the spousal visa was because my husband is scared of flights and I would have not seen him But honestly, both are good options!

Can't you still travel on a spousal visa? I thought you can still visit your husband/wife as long as you don't live/work there until visa is approved?

[Caro1]

Can't you still travel on a spousal visa? I thought you can still visit your husband/wife as long as you don't live/work there until visa is approved?

Yes, you can, assuming you hold a B2 tourist visa or qualify for ESTA. Yet, entry to the USA is not guaranteed for anyone who is not a US citizen. That means you can still be denied entry at the border, if the officer believes you have immigration intent. Being married to a US citizen automatically gives you a reason to want to immigrate over someone who doesn't know anyone in the US.

It would be safer to travel with some extra documents. Something to prove strong ties to your home country, e.g. a rental contract, an employment contract, owned property, a loan, lease of a vehicle etc. Basically anything that shows you don't plan on just abandoning your home country.
This is not a requirement, but can make the difference between being let in or being turned away.

[snow]

Basically what Caro1 said. It is possible, but at the time I JUST finished college, I was living with my parents rent free and my job had discontinued due to funding issues so I really had NO ties to my home country :P
It probably would have been JUST fine, but you know, I like to err on the side of caution especially with something this important!

[TeresaGould]

I agree with you VISA FRAUD has become a big problem for all.