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#July 2019

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    #July 2019

    Today ML left to return to her home after spending 2 months here with me for the summer. It was so nice waking up with her every morning and going to sleep with her in my arms every night. That is what I am going to miss the most.

    This Kicks off the beginning of our #July2019 Project. Getting everything in order so she can move into my house for good.

    While she was here for the summer, her Summer employer offered her a full time salaried position with medical coverage and bonus program. The only question is if the position will wait for her in #july2019. I think they want her before then.

    #2
    Time will fly and you’ll be together again before you know it

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      #3
      Set your goal and work together for it. It's tougher than it looks! Haha, but worth it, good luck!

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        #4
        Our next Weekend Rendezvous is in a month. I got tickets to a concert, she bought her plane ticket. About the same price.

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          #5
          We are talking about where her stuff will it in with mine. This is a dicey discussion....Here's why:

          In my previous 20 year marriage, I always felt like my wife would "take over" spaces with clutter almost as a way to claim it. For example, the barn I used to practice archery indoors for the national championships, she filled with rabbit cages (an issue in itself). She would fill the bookcase shelves with knicknacks, she would buy planters plant shrubs or flowers and they would die, and she would get more planters. She filled up rooms with things she might need someday...etc...not quite hoarding, but cluttered.

          So when ML started eyeing the guest room closet for her clothes, I had to explain to her about my previous experiences and let her know that the last two years, I'd really enjoyed the wide open uncluttered feeling of my space and that it was going to be a serious adjustment on my part making space.

          So my bachelor decorating got some comments from her. I agreed she has good decorating taste . I pointed out some art she has on the wall that I liked and we talked about were it would go.

          So far what we agree on her bringing to here:
          Sofa
          1.5 seat (small love seat)
          2 End tables
          Lamps
          Dining room set table with 8 chairs
          Sideboard buffet
          wine rack "bar"
          2 dressers
          a dress form
          Free standing Brass Coat Rack
          and an assortment of sentimental knick knacks that I'm just gonna have to grin and bear it...

          And we are going to have to go through kitchen equipment to see who has the "Best of each" where we duplicate.
          Ironic tangent---We have the same Lennox China from our first marriages. Her's has a black and gold rim, mine has a blue and gold rim...


          So some time this summer I'll probably sell my leather couch and loveseat in the living room. The dining room table that was my maternal grandmother's, my sister is "interested, let me know.."

          I'm thinking about how we will fit her two dressers in the bedroom.


          How did you manage the merging of two households when you closed the distance?

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            #6
            ...not without issues��

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              #7
              We had quite a few talks about what we were going to do with our household stuff. In a good way, I had given most of the nicer household things to my ex wife and my GF had a lot of significantly nicer things than I did, so that made it easier in that way. It was still tough having my stuff purged so to say.

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                #8
                Our next "Date" is Next Weekend. I get in at 11:30 at night the evening of my company's end of the Quarter. I'll Have to get inventory all wrapped up that day before I leave for the airport. going to stay over the weekend and leave on Monday afternoon. Saturday night Hockey game maybe, and some going through things to Sell, pack , give away. Probably some honey do's around her house.

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                  #9
                  So this last visit I got a look at the Christmas decorating procedure. Tree, Mantle, Manger scene, lights in the windows. Think I can handle it. She stores the ornaments and lights in plastic totes. We talked about where the tree will be in my house next year.

                  Went through some stuff and talked about what comes and what stays...I think the COST of he move will be what culls a lot of items.


                  Talked about how our Spring Vacation may actually be moving some Items. Perhaps my father would enjoy a road trip ?

                  We have a spread sheet with to dos and monthly divisions to break each one down.
                  Another sheet identifies her big furniture and where it goes in my house

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                    #10
                    Making a quick trip for Easter Weekend.

                    Probably my last one before Moving. I'm taking a week to help her pack and attend her son's graduation in June.

                    Looking at a moving POD vs a Uhaul. The POD has a greater leeway in regards to time frame. She can pack it over a couple of weeks, and we can unpack it over a couple of weeks.

                    In regards to Home space, we made the bedroom next to our room the "office" and she will have the closet in there. I'm happy with that arrangement.

                    She has given notice at her part time job.
                    She will be giving a start date at her new job soon.
                    She is setting up the lease paper work for her home.
                    I'l have to do a "basic home maintenance" lesson to her daughter. Perhaps set up a maintenance schedule.

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                      #11
                      Good luck with the daughter!

                      Combining homes can be a bit of a mine field. Sounds like you're going about things very thoughtfully and taking your time.

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                        #12
                        Monday at the airport as we had our farewell kiss I told her "I'm not doing this anymore."





                        Here eyes grew wide and confused.


                        I continued.

                        "This is the last time I leave here without you. When i come back in June, I'm bringing you back with me. "

                        And she smiled......

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                          #13
                          So i keep a spreadsheet of our visits. It has been interesting to track the progression of our visits...

                          In 2016 we spent 29 days together
                          In 2017 we spent 62 days together (including her staying with me 29 days for summer)
                          In 2018 we spent 87 days together (including her staying with me 67 days in the summer)
                          In 2019 so far we will spend 14 days before the distance is officially closed in June.

                          Shortest duration of visiting was 19 hours, longest was 67 days
                          Longest time between visits was 83 days, Shortest was 22 days

                          We spent more time together near my home than near her home, But 21 days in 3 years were Abroad travelling together.

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                            #14
                            The POD arrives in 3 days and will be picked up on the 10th of June.
                            I will fly up on June 5 late in the day with my 12 yo daughter. She will return on a plane on Monday while ML and I drive her car with the dog for 2 days.
                            Today she dedicated to packing up things.
                            Next weekend will be her moving sale

                            We are swapping Pots and pans. Her daughter will get my RevereWare set and ML is bringing her AllClad.
                            I'm getting pictures of things in her house "do we need this?"

                            It is really happening!

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                              #15


                              In 18 days it will be picked up!

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