Move close or Move in together?

[lucybelle]

Which would you rather do?

I think I would prefer to move "close" before "in", but our situation is calling for a move "in". It kind of scares me because I've never lived with an SO before!

My mom says: "Living with guys is great. They're gross and leave hair everywhere, but the good sex makes up for it."

[MadMolly]

I'd rather move close, which was the plan, but he ended up moving in with me and 9 months later he's still here! Haha! As soon as he gets more income in we're moving seperately again. We're in no rush and living together isn't a step that you can't step down from and then return to later in our books. It's fun living together, but I'd like to live with a few mates first!

[kasia516]

our plan is for me to live with him until i get a job and can afford a place of my own. also when we first end the distance we're going to spend every second of our time together anyway, so theres no point having two places when we'll always be at one.

[gh0stfl0wers]

I think it really depends on a lot of things. If you've always been LD, then I think its best not to move in right away, or do it like kasia, and just move in until you can afford your own place. You should spend more time with the other before moving in. The relationship might change if you're not used to being together so often. If you have been CD before and are used to already spending lots of time together, I say move in if you're ready.

[Bluestars]

I would prefer that we move in together when we close the distance. It is a really hard transition to make, and I think it would help make the person who moved less lonely imo. My SO moved here once (he lived an hour away though) and had to move back home because things didn't work out. We decided that moving in together next time would be preferable. I want to see him all of the time since that is the purpose in making the move anyway!

If you are making that big of a commitment to your partner by moving to be with them, moving in seems somewhat logical to me. I think a lot of it just depends on where you are in your relationship though. When my SO and I visit each other, it is almost like living with each other for a week anyway. I already know that we both would need our separate spaces in our apartment though just because we are both introverted.

[Pixie]

My SO lived about a 10 minute drive from me for the first 9 months-ish of our relationship. He spent most of his time here or with me at his place but we didn't actually live together. I think when we do end the distance I'd like to live together finally...since we'll have been together for 3 years by then.

[gh0stfl0wers]

My SO lived about a 10 minute drive from me for the first 9 months-ish of our relationship. He spent most of his time here or with me at his place but we didn't actually live together. I think when we do end the distance I'd like to live together finally...since we'll have been together for 3 years by then.

I'd do the same in that situation. Actually, mine is sort of the same If I weren't going to the States to go to college, my SO and I would probably be moving in together within the next year anyway. So whatever we decide to do after college (either he comes to the States or I go back to Germany), we'll move in together. We'll have been together for 8 years then.

[Pixie]

I'd do the same in that situation. Actually, mine is sort of the same If I weren't going to the States to go to college, my SO and I would probably be moving in together within the next year anyway. So whatever we decide to do after college (either he comes to the States or I go back to Germany), we'll move in together. We'll have been together for 8 years then.

What made you decide to go to the states for school?

We would have probably moved in together sooner rather than later except we've ended up going to college/uni in different cities so it won't end up happening until I graduate and move to the city he's going to school in (I finish school 2 years before he does). It seems sooo far away..ahhh!

[Zephii]

I'd vote move in I'd have been pretty upset if I changed countries for Obi and he didn't want to actually live with me when I got here. Besides that, living together is financially much easier, and as Bluestars said, it helps the person who gives everything up feel less lonely.

We went right from LD to moved in, but for the first 7 months we lived with other people (my family then his). When we finally moved out together, it was so fun and exciting and was a great thing to share, especially as he'd never moved out of home before.

[squiddie]

I would move close first if it was possible, like you'd have a roommate lined up that you already knew and everything.

Since that's not the situation that I'm going into, I'll be moving in with Penn. I already know my parents don't care, we're not sure how his parents will react though. I'm sort of hoping we'll be engaged before I move in, so it might diffuse things a little.

[lucybelle]

I'd vote move in I'd have been pretty upset if I changed countries for Obi and he didn't want to actually live with me when I got here. Besides that, living together is financially much easier, and as Bluestars said, it helps the person who gives everything up feel less lonely.

Totally agree with this! When I tell my friends that my SO is going to move in with me they say "well shouldn't you get to know him better first?" The only way that's gonna happen is by one of us moving to the other's country! And I'd feel terrible if he left behind everything and everyone he knows and loves to move in... to another apartment. We've talked about what if things don't work out, and if they don't he'll just go back home!

Easy peasy pumpkin pie (mmm... pumpkin pie...)

[gh0stfl0wers]

What made you decide to go to the states for school?

We would have probably moved in together sooner rather than later except we've ended up going to college/uni in different cities so it won't end up happening until I graduate and move to the city he's going to school in (I finish school 2 years before he does). It seems sooo far away..ahhh!

I'm American and have been living in Germany for 12 years and it's always been a dream of mine to go to college in the States. Hearing my parents' stories and stuff, reading on facebook about how my old friends from the USA are getting ready for college. I wasn't really sure about the whole thing until I actually started looking into certain colleges. Now I'm really excited about it, if it weren't for the tiny fact that my SO is staying behind. But he might join me after 2 years or so. The whole college thing isn't the same in Germany. It's like purely academic here.

[Casey]

I know its a little different for me as me & my SO were CD & lived together before he moved.
But despite that, I would be awfully annoyed if I moved my entire life for any man and we didn't even move in together. Moving is, to me, a much bigger commitment than moving in together and I would personally question his commitment to me. It's completely natural to be scared, but I would be even more scared a)living with another random or alone - it would be really lonely in a new town and b) that they don't want to make the step into moving after you have moved for them!

[MissShortie]

I would like to move closer but it's so expensive that the best option for me right now would be to move in with him, but my parents would hate that so I have to wait and save more money to move here

[Riyko]

When I was with my ex we moved in together right away. My next relationship if it happens to be LD and we close the distance one or the other will have to live in their own place and slowly work towards living together.