Can't decide :(

[8983MilesofLove]

So we can't decide when to close the distance he MIGHT be moving here in July 2011 for a year or 2...OR if he gets the good job he's applying for after the new year...we will have to wait until I've finished Uni. But I don't finish until June 2012...and I can't decide if I want to move back there in October 2012 or July 2013. Firstly I need to decide what to do when I finish Uni...I'm either going to do a 1 year MA course in psychoanalysis (if i get the right degree and have enough money :/) or I'm going to try and get a job after Uni, and work for a year before moving back to Aus...or if I can't get a job the first few months after i finish uni and i dont get a high enough degree to do an MA (or can't afford it in general), then I could move back to australia in October 2012 and look for jobs out there!? AHH help!! So much to decide!
I'm just not sure I'm ready to move back over there without my family...i'm so close to my parents and younger brother, and i miss them even when im away from them for a few weeks...so i dont know how i would cope only seeing them 2 or 3 times a year!? I really want him to move over here for a couple of years so i dont feel pressured to move back over there before i'm ready...but if he gets this good job, we'll just have to keep going with the distance i guess

Any thoughts/suggestions!?

Is everything i just put even understandable!? lol

[Zephii]

It makes perfect sense

The thing is, you need to know exactly what your needs are and what his needs are and prioritize them. You need to know what you're willing to give up and what you can't compromise on. I think it's only fair you both live for at least a year in each others countries before settling down, because a long stay helps get rid of the natural bias we all have.

I hear you on the family thing. I'm close to my family, and we'll have been apart exactly 11 months and one day when I finally see my sister again. The idea of spending the rest of my life either missing my family or his.... well, it puts a lot of pressure on a person!

If you wanted to take that extra course, you could think about doing that in Australia. We have a lot of really good initiatives for international students, but if money is an issue and you can afford to wait a little while, you could get your PR first then do Uni through HECS - which is kind of like a loan, but it doesn't incur as much interest as a loan should, and you don't start paying it back until you earn 40k a year (or is it 30k? I'm second guessing myself now!). I don't know... it might be worth looking into?

The thing is, the distance wont close itself. You both have to make an effort to do it, otherwise it's very easy to just keep living your own life instead of making a life together.

Carrots xx

[8983MilesofLove]

That's my issue, I really want him to live here for a year or so before I make the big move, just so I know he would do for me what I'm doing for him.

Well we have our own priorities, and then priorities for our relationship and us as a couple;

Me:
1. Uni.
2. My Family/Him.
3. Money.
Him:
1. Money/Work.
2. Me/His Family.

Priorities we have as a couple:
1. Money (he has this idea that he needs a good well paid job to be good enough for me and to be able to support me when i move there...which is fair enough - even though I've told him countless times I still wanna be with him even if hes broke - because he wants to be the main breadwinner and provide for me and our 'future family').
2. Engagement
3. Visas
4. Moving in together.
5. Marriage.
6. Owning a house.
7. Kids.
etc etc etc lol...thats basically our 5-6 year plan if everything goes as we want it to, but obviously all that could change

We won't be able to make a life properly together until I finish Uni, I guess it all depends on work really (for both of us...so him getting a stable job or not next year, and me getting a job or not after uni).
So confusing lol and yess, a LOT of pressure!! I know my parents will be supportive though, they've always known I'd move back to Aus eventually, I think my Dad's still in denial though haha...my Mum's getting him used to the realization though which is a good thing